In the words of Langston Hughes:
I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn’t,
So I jumped in and sank.
I’m lying, I was flyin’ straight to cloud 9 because there’s no place I’ll rather be than up in the sky. See down here the devil is on every corner and all in my mind, but up there is where I can be like the most high, and frankly it just gives me a bit of peace, but I’m sure you think I’m lyin’. I was feeling low and wanted to avoid the things from below. I’ve become consumed and swallowed up with gossip, lies, manipulating, negativity, drugs, sexuality, vanity, and my career, so my sweet escape isn’t sweet victory but to get to the clouds from a puff of that loud.
Cloud 1: “How long LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2 NIV)
Cloud 2: “Why, LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1 NIV)
Cloud 3: I’m as high as I can go yet I still feel a void. I remember them saying if two or three come together then there’s nothing they can’t accomplish. Maybe if I get more people, I can get higher.
Cloud 4: “LORD, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!” (Psalm 3:1 NIV)
Cloud 5: “Help, LORD, for no one is faithful anymore; those who are loyal have vanished from the human race. Everyone lies to their neighbor; they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts.” (Psalm 12:1-2)
Cloud 6: “My soul is in deep anguish. How long, LORD, how long?” (Psalm 6:3 NIV)
Cloud 7: “Many are saying of me, ‘God will not deliver him.” (Psalm 3:2 NIV). I’m the black sheep of the family. I’ve been addicted for seven years. My family has lost hope. I’ve intoxicated my soul with drugs, alcohol, and material things. I’ve filled my body with things of this earth and dishonored it. I’ve dismantled my mind with gossiping and put my career as my top priority. My words are poisons and my touch is not one of comfort. I am the most high yet I’m nothing like my Most High. My skies are not clear; I hide behind the secret of my clouds. Everyone below me is moving and the people I brought with me fell three years ago. I’m alone.
Cloud 8: “Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.” (Psalm 4:1 NIV).
Cloud 9: “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:9-10 NIV)
Rock Bottom: I need to change my book, my surroundings, and my habits. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” (Romans 8:26-27 NIV).
The old is gone. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV).
I want to thank You for being faithful to me in times of my disobedience. Though I strayed, doubted, put other things first, and pulled others into my mess – Your grace washed me clean! Your mercy provided me with a fresh start and gave me a new identity. Starting today, I will walk in my new. In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Ladies, I EMPOWER you that if you are dealing with addiction of any kind (work, gossip, food, vanity, drugs, etc.) to seek help (professional and spiritual). It doesn’t matter what labels friends, family or society try to place on you because of your addiction. Your number one label is God’s child. If you are at the grocery store and see chips in the refrigerator with the milk you’ll know that it doesn’t belong there. Understand, that people see your light and know you don’t belong where you are. Nothing can fill the void you may feel but the Spirit of God.
Please take a moment and listen to Casey J’s Fill Me Up
Ms. Dené B. is a student of life who enjoys human studies and social media. She graduated from Loyola University Chicago where the motto is “Preparing People to Lead Extraordinary Lives,” She took her education and school spirit to heart and now is a young adult striving to live an extraordinary life while helping others achieve the same. With a Bachelor of Arts in Advertising and Public Relations and minors in Sociology and Visual Communication, Dené’s worked at a top PR firm but her greatest accomplishments resides in volunteer work with Autism Speaks and Big Brothers Big Sisters. Currently, she finds herself pursuing a vision God placed in her of starting her own business. One of her go to scriptures is, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV).