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Position Yourself

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Dear Daddy, 

Help us to seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Mat 6:33 KJV)  Help us to surrender every area of our lives to You including our singlehood, dating lives, and desires.  Help us to trust You and to be patient as You heal our wounds, purify our hearts, and prepare us for our husbands, who will have hearts after Your very own heart and Your approval.  Help us to position ourselves and to use Your wisdom in doing so, doing nothing to violate Your word or taint our witness or temples. Help us to not fall for the counterfeits and help us to not rush You.  Daddy, help us to also be content during our singlehood and help us to take the time to pursue You greater than we have pursued anything or anyone in our lives.  Help us to rest in You, remembering that You are our First Love.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single Ladies, I EMPOWER you to trust God, seek Him first and be patient with Him!  While you are doing all that, I EMPOWER you to position yourselves.  Mama always said “no guy is going to just drop down on the couch.”   

What are your thoughts on positioning yourself?  Has being saved and single been a challenge for you?

Single in the City 11: Is It My Time Yet?

Last month I celebrated my birthday and there was nothing anyone could do to steal my joy.  I was ecstatic to be able to say that I made it 27 years and despite the many detrimental attacks from the enemy I was still standing!  I was so excited to be an overcomer that I made it my business to party all 30 days of September.  I went on a couple of “mini-vacays”, hung out with girls, and showed the city what it means to be “Single in the City.” In short, I really enjoyed myself until I realized that my overly positive attitude was nothing more than a mere ACT!!!

Examining the events that transpired last month a little closer, I made the following discoveries — Labor Day weekend my bestie was eager to cut our road trip short to get back to her new beau.  On my birthday it seemed as if all my friends had someone of the opposite sex to text or call except for me.  That Saturday we went out and everyone was turning down advances from men all night, but as “fly” as I looked it was as if I was invisible.  That next weekend I attended a wedding and we all know how that turned out judging from part 3 of this series.  And finally, during the conclusion of the month’s festivities, my roommate’s GREAT new guy friend came to visit.  Again, as I reflected on the things that took place I was able to clearly see that all of my girls have crossed over and I have been left asking, “Is it my time yet?”

Now ladies before you call me out on my many sermons about being in relationship with God and Him being “my man,” just know that I do get lonely in life. Let’s keep it real; God is omnipresent, but I miss a man’s presence. My relationship with God is unwavering and so is His love, but heaven I need a hug! However, it may just NOT be my time.  So I ask, what is a girl to do when times get rough?

“And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart…” (Ezekiel 11:19 ESV)

Judging from the above Bible verse I was equipped, anointed, and strategically hand-picked for this position.  No matter how things may look my Daddy has once again shown me how I am right where He needs me to be.  On that note, the answer to my question is simple: Yes, it is my time to continue allowing the Father to remove things that are holding me back and replacing them with what I need to make it in “Love Land.”

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for thinking so highly of me that You are taking Your time to mold me into the woman You need me to be.  Allow me to remain focused on the future and by-pass the right now.  It may not be my time for a mate just yet, but I trust the plan You have for my life.  No matter who he is and whenever we meet I know that You will make sure that I am ready without a doubt.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single girls around the world, I EMPOWER you to continue to wait for your time.  The game of LIFE is different for everyone and at this time we are simply waiting for the next move from God.  He will only move when He knows we are totally prepared so allow Him to do what needs to be done.  Have a blessed weekend ladies! :)

How are you staying content in your waiting period of singleness?

Please click here to vote for EmpowerMoments in the 2012 BlackWeBlog Awards!

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Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church. She serves tirelessly with the Evangelism Team there.  Latasha also works at Mt. Zion as a member of the Administrative Support Staff. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.” Isaiah 54:17

Single in the City 10: A Gentleman with a Future and a Past

A while ago, I was subtly approached by a male who I have a strictly professional relationship with. He expressed to me that his feelings were more than just office-related, but rather he felt that we had a real connection. Immediately I felt he was simply “running game”, so I decided not to entertain it much until I realized that he was not giving up. When I finally decided to give him a chance, our relationship progressed to nothing more than random texts and sporadic phone calls. I started to think that I had missed my opportunity until one day he chose to make his move.

Our first date was AWESOME! He proved to me that chivalry was indeed alive as he held the door open, pulled out my chair, and asked several times if I was alright. At dinner we talked, or better yet I talked and he listened intensely asking questions about ME along the way. I was utterly shocked that I was amidst a true gentleman.

After our meal we went to a spot in the park that overlooked the entire city to finish our conversation. It was then that I found out about his life before he learned to love the Lord. Long story short, the things of his past were not pretty as it involved a lot of violence, crime and imprisonment. Truthfully, a piece of me was turned off at the thought that this man had done everything under the sun until I had a flashback of my life and realized that many situations were quite similar.

“The righteous will move onward and forward, and those with pure hearts will be stronger and stronger.” (Job 17:9 NLT)

Ladies, being in the presence of this man was a reality check in that I had to understand that we all have a past, but more importantly we have a future! As he vividly described the events of his past, he was sure to let me know that all along he was crying out to Jesus but didn’t want to leave what he thought was the “life.” Since he surrendered to God, he has been abundantly blessed while serving the Lord wholeheartedly. As the above scripture implies, once we decide to live a life pleasing to God our past is behind us and our new clean and pure heart will become stronger as we press on. (I am not sure where this relationship will go from here but I am certain that this guy has changed my perspective about men who have endured more than the surface will ever show.)

Dear Daddy,

I praise Your name for continuing to love me despite my past. Thank You for trusting me enough to lead me to my future no matter what I did before accepting You as my Lord and Savior. Help me to stay focused on my not yet opposed to the back then. You have delivered me from it and I receive the blessings that You have for my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single gals, I EMPOWER you to learn as much as you can while you are in the dating arena. There are many profitable single Christian men if only we can stop focusing on their past and believe in their futures. Have a BLESSED week!! ☺

Ladies, what advice do you have to offer our saved, single ladies in the dating arena? We would like to hear your responses below.

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Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management. She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church. She serves tirelessly with the Evangelism Team there. Latasha also works at Mt. Zion as a member of the Administrative Support Staff. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.” Isaiah 54:17

Single in the City 9: Ultimate Relationship

June is Black Music Month! To celebrate, each of our EmpowerMoments will be based on Black music for the entire month. This includes Black songwriters, producers or performers. Stay tuned as we use various genres of Black music to tell our stories and exemplify the beauty of God’s love! Happy Black Music Month! Dance as if no one is watching!

“Now, about the young women who are not yet married… Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain just as you are.” (1 Corinthians 7:25-26 NLT)

Recently my dating life has been non-existent and well on its way to extinction.  I have met a few guys over the past few months but most were not worth a call or text back.  Perhaps, the crisis that Paul spoke of is the small selection of profitable men worthy of my time.  So you can better understand let’s just do a quick run-down…

Bachelor #1 was a security guard at a local night club… I knew that he would have potential since he’s a blue collar worker right? NOT at all! This dude was obsessed with himself and his cheating ex-girlfriend to the point that our one and only date turned into a counseling session.  Then on our fourth phone call he mentioned how he was trying to get a job in Detroit and I could move there with him… SERIOUSLY?  Needless to say that was all “he” wrote.

Bachelor #2 was a bus driver twice my age and a waist line three times that!  I’m not saying that made a difference because I learned my lesson on judging people solely on appearance when I wrote part 2 of this series.  However, he ruined it for himself when he called me 15 minutes after I gave him my number!  Am I the only woman that feels there should be a mandatory grace period when calling someone you just met?? Just a thought…

Bachelor #3 was extremely fascinated by me.  He was amazed that I had a job, paid my own bills, etc. Since he was so attentive I thought about giving him a chance until he discreetly threw in the fact that I can call him whenever… “I’m always outside.”  That was the last straw because Lord knows I don’t have it in me to deal with another hustler!!

“In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.  An unmarried [wo]man can spend [her] time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.” (1 Corinthians 7:32 NLT) 

In honor of Black Music Month I instantly thought of the song Ultimate Relationship (AM) by Mary J. Blige.  The songstress took a break from R&B to tell us single chicks how to love on God.  We MUST rid ourselves of the spirit of loneliness, co-dependency, low self-esteem or self-worth, un-fulfillment, and the list goes on! The devil truly is a liar because every morning we wake up we are given another opportunity to lie in bed with Jesus.  “I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.  I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as Lord.” (Hosea 2:19-20 NLT) Our Father will wrap us in His love early in the morning in order to equip us for the tricks of the enemy.  So ladies we have to stop whining about not having a guy and focus on the work God has for us to do.  Spend a moment in the AM and listen intently to what He reveals to you because it may get you one step closer to your soul mate!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for our morning rendezvouses.  Being alone can become overwhelming a lot of the time but as long as I nurture our relationship I can easily maintain.  Remind me that having a companion is only a portion of the master plan that You have for my life.  Keep me focused on the business I have to handle on Your behalf.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!      

Single Ladies, I EMPOWER you to spend time with God each and every morning.  Before you start your daily routine make God a priority and open your spirit to His incredible LOVE!  Be Blessed!! :-)

Listen as Mary sings God a sweet love song:

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Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church. She serves tirelessly with the Evangelism Team there.  Latasha also works at Mt. Zion as a member of the Administrative Support Staff. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.” Isaiah 54:17

Single in the City 8: Spring Fever

Yes, it is back!  Based on the blooming flowers, warm weather, and abundance of pastel colors in retail stores it is safe to say that spring is here!   Now that the frigid temps of The Cold Winter have come and gone, single women everywhere must brace themselves for those ugly side effects of “Spring Fever.” 

Almost every where you go people portray spring as this fun-filled time of the year to enjoy nature.  Great weather encourages walks in the park and picnics in the shade, but let’s be honest ladies–to seal the deal and make it worth your while, you need to have a male companion.  This is what spring fever does to us. Whenever the sun is shining bright and there is a slight breeze in the air we start to think of all the awesome activities that we could be doing with the opposite sex. 

It is so easy to focus on how much better life can be with a boyfriend/ husband but STOP!!!  Proverbs 23:7 clearly states that so a [wo]man thinketh so is [s]he.  Once the enemy gets us caught up in those dreadful symptoms of Spring Fever it is only a matter of time before we start to lose hope in the promises God has for our future.  “And this expectation will not disappoint us.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” (Romans 5:5 NLT) As always, single ladies, God knew I would get to the point where I would yearn for company but He always makes provisions. 

The biggest problem with being ‘Single in the City’ is that I get consumed with the commercial idea of being in a relationship and forget that I have been in one for the majority of my life.  I have actually been engaged in a love triangle with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for over 15 years!  I must admit that it has been the most fulfilling relationship ever. They listen more than they speak, when they do speak it is of substance and extremely relevant, they lead me through rough times, and carry me when it gets to be too much.  I don’t know about you but I am willing to wait it out because the soul mate God has for me will be strategically designed by my Daddy who knows me best!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for forcing me to realize that the only way that I will beat the Spring Fever blues is to counteract it with more of You.  You chose to stay in a relationship with me even when I chose otherwise and for that I am eternally grateful.  Please help me to keep my heart and mind focused on the love we have for each other and I’m certain this single thing will be a breeze.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single gals, I EMPOWER you to shake that Spring Fever.  Instead of thinking of all the things you can do with a male counterpart, channel that energy to advance your “love affair” with God to a full blown LOVING relationship.  His feelings have been on the table for a while and it’s time for you to pour yours out as well.  Be Blessed :-)

Single ladies, how are you beating the Spring Fever blues? Share it with us below.

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Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church. She serves tirelessly with the Evangelism Team there.  Latasha also works at Mt. Zion as a member of the Administrative Support Staff. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.” Isaiah 54:17

Single in the City 7: Ready with God!

God recently blessed me with a job at my church home.  Working in ministry has been a totally different experience than the corporate world yet very fulfilling in more ways than one.  I believe that He strategically placed me there for several reasons, one of which made the perfect topic for this EmpowerMoment.

I must admit that the church office is filled with a GREAT array of man eye candy!  I work in close corners with dozens of men that fit my Christian dating criteria and to top it off they are OH SO HANDSOME.  I have found myself running home daily just to tell my cousin about all the good looking gems that I am surrounded by every afternoon.  It’s almost amazing to me to see so many established, successful black men working so diligently for the Lord! I LOVE it!

However, I must admit being single in this environment causes me to become a tad bit anxious as I wait for my husband to find me.  Just to clarify, I don’t intend to be the Jezebel of the congregation but this is just conformation that what I desire my mate to be and stand for does in fact exist. “Blessed is the man [woman] who preserves under trial, because when he has stood the test, he [she] will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)  Ladies, the truth of the matter is that I have to wait on God and have the faith that when the time is right He will do what He says.

Of course it is easy for me to say/write it, but the reality is that I feel that I am ready but apparently God knows otherwise.  So often we as single women just know we are ready to be married, have kids, and a house with a white picket fence but we have to trust that God knows best.  A lot of the time we are so focused on walking down the aisle that we find ourselves taking to relationships with men that we know are nothing like the man that God would have for us.  Well I am here to tell you that your Christian checklist was not written in vain. (See Single in the City 2  for all of the other stuff on your list!) There are plenty of eligible bachelors with those characteristics that you desire but it is NOT up to you to pick him out of the crowd.  For the Bible says, “It is not good for a man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18) It also tells us that “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22 NIV)

With that said, it is not for us to understand, for the God we serve has already appointed the day, time, and setting where you will cross paths with that certain mister that He made just for you.  So stop with all the questioning and just stand firm on the potter’s wheel and allow Him to continue molding you so that when He sends him you are completely ready! Ready with God that is!

Dear Daddy,

Continue to strengthen my faith in You as I wait for You to send me my mate.  Give me hope that he is out there, but most important, grant me patience to wait for him to come my way.  Help me to understand that You are simply preparing me for a loving and lasting relationship, and the work You have to do with me may take a while.  Keep my mind on You during the process.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single gals across the world, I EMPOWER you to REALLY wait on God to send your mate.  Stop talking about it and be about it!  Let Him have control over this and not just on those things that YOU feel are in need of His attention.  Instead, use that energy to get in position and get READY!

Read the entire series: Single in the City

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17

Single in the City 6: The COLD Winter

As the winter months approach, as a single gal I seem to feel a bit of anxiety trying to surface.  I have found that colder days are a sure fire indicator of just how COLD my love life is.  In the spring and summer I can get out and about, embracing my single-hood for what it is.  During that time my girls and I are able to hit the town and never think twice about a man or the lack thereof.  But as soon as the first fall breeze blows, I yearn for the comfort of the opposite sex.   I have been single for two years and every time the weather changes my emotions get riled up.

Just talking with others I have concluded that this feeling is almost universal for single women every where.  Wintry weather has been coined the “boo” season because it is always better to stay inside and cuddle with a man, than fight the frigid temps alone.  Even worse, there are people who are fine with being single 75% of the year but when those few COLD months come around being single is no longer an option.  So that leads me to the question- are we desiring to store men like the animals in the forest store food for the winter?  If so, how will we ever break ourselves of this habit?

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV) The bible makes it simple in saying that when those feelings of loneliness show up we are to hand it over to God.  Of course that is easier said than done but the reality is that God really is waiting on us to catch up and hand it over to Him.  Even David had to take a pause for the cause to cry out to the Lord in Psalms 25:14- “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” (NIV)

The problem with most of us single women (myself included) is that we prefer to cry on the shoulder of a man rather than cry out to God.  Ladies, being a single Christian truly is a daunting task but rejoicing in the promises of God is effortless.  We must remember to rely on God in all areas, even our love lives.  God is not restricted to church affairs, but instead we should incorporate Him into everything.

Dear Daddy,

Forgive me for the times that I chose a man in the natural rather than communing with You in the spirit.  Please help me to remember to cry out to You whenever I feel lonely.  I know that these next few months will be even harder and I ask that You continue to console me.  Whenever I think about finding comfort elsewhere, remind me who I am in You!  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single ladies across the world, I EMPOWER to spend the winter with Jesus!  When it gets cold outside, wrap yourself in the Word of God and before you know it spring will be in the air! Be Blessed! :-)

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17