Preface

“There’s a curse on this family at the age of 23; at the age of 23 your cousin died, your other cousin was paralyzed, and both your grandmother and mother had a miscarriages. I’m not trying to speak negativity… I’m just saying pray over your 23rd year of life because it could be a rough one.” Those were the words spoken to me a week before my 23rd birthday. From the time I was a child I always felt 23 was going to be my YEAR! God even confirmed that He set this year aside for me, but I really didn’t know that I had death in store.

Month 1

While driving down the same street my cousin died on I heard a voice say, “You have 12 months to live, how are you going to use your time? I suggest you do what you want, go out, live life because in 12 months you’ll die.” I took the advice from the voice in my head and lived it up. I filled my soul and drowned my unknown sorrows, feeding my impulses which lead to a mirror of repulsion. I blacked out. When I finally woke up, I laid in my shame and promised never to intoxicate my soul. And that’s when my detox began.

Months 2 – 5

Summer-time Chi encompasses the city air with peace. I finally felt 23. I was working at my dream company and enjoying life. And then, the last piece to my puzzle was placed, I met a guy. He was tall, well-dressed, well-spoken- a suave frat boy. He impressed me and stimulated me mentally. As he unveiled his truths I fell deeper. The more we talked- the more open I became. I wore love on my neck and he grabbed it, seizing a narrow moment in time.

Month 6

For the first time in my life I made love. In my head, I fabricated details and illustrations of the man, I wanted my man, to be. I created an image of love that was never truly there. My thoughts continued to water the seed of love in my mind which eventually spouted attaching to my heart.

Month 7

Then the man I grew to love came to me and said, “It’s only so far I can go with you. You’re an amazing person but this just isn’t going to work.” I felt like Job when God gave the devil limits on his life. (Job 1:12) I never allowed myself to be so open and vulnerable so even though I felt God was protecting me it still didn’t lessen the blow.

Month 8  

Our love story was like a firework. We had an undetected ascend but when we finally hit our peak it was beautiful, however it faded quickly and I was left with the smoke filled air to navigate through.

Month 9

The love that I use to wear around my neck, I threw away. I tucked it somewhere unknown. I didn’t want anyone to find it, not even myself. I never wanted to love again because the pain I felt was something I never felt before.

Month 10

I cried in darkness and crucified my pain. I walked with Jesus; feeling the nails of rejection, the beatings of disappointment, the crowning of failure. At the moment Jesus cried out and so did I. I begged God to bring me home and abort my mission. I asked that He protect my family and friends and give them acceptance of my absence. Life was no longer making sense but I felt that death was the only way I could find peace.

Month 11

An angel entered my life. I was a broken soul just looking for answers and a way out. She rescued me from judgment and shame. She washed me clean and purified my soul, giving me the ability to love again. She prepared me to meet my King. For months, I had been so distracted with the smoke from the fireworks that I didn’t realize the show had been over for a while. I was now out of time.

Month 12

I woke up and finally the sun was shining. I didn’t realize where I was because shame, guilt, humiliation and disappointment were no longer my alarm clock. I had  peace. Then my Holy Spirit spoke, “I gave you the desires of your heart. You prayed to wake up to Me. For that life is over. Get up and walk in your new.” At that moment my love was freed. I realized that in order to truly live I had to die. In my final month of life, I surrendered and my love was set free and given to God.

And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion.

But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you. Ephesians 4:17-24 Message

Dear Daddy,

I thank You Father, for always being a rescuer. God, it took me to lose everything to completely turn my life over to You and now that I have I’m so thankful to serve You. In Jesus name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you that “when temptation and impulses come to rape, beat and violate you; they can control your mind but it’s not over, there is hope for you to live again. Repent. God loves you. Just seek His face, get in the word and renew your mind…to fight the impulses and your life.”

As you reflect on 12 months to live, please c  enjoy Mail Music’s Impulses.

Click here to listen to the beautiful music of Impulses.

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Ms. Dené B. is a student of life who enjoys human studies and social media. She graduated from Loyola University Chicago where the motto is “Preparing People to Lead Extraordinary Lives,” She took her education and school spirit to heart and now is a young adult striving to live an extraordinary life while helping others achieve the same. With a Bachelor of Arts in Advertising and Public Relations and minors in Sociology and Visual Communication, Dené worked at a top PR firm but her greatest accomplishments resides in volunteer work with Autism Speaks and Big Brothers Big Sisters. Currently, she finds herself pursuing a vision God placed in her of starting her own business. One of her go to scriptures is, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV).

Let me begin this EmpowerMoment by telling you that God is an amazing God. He protects me from my own crazy self and I thank Him. Exactly two weeks ago I wrote an EmpowerMoment entitled “Turning it Around for Me.” In the EmpowerMoment I was discussing my current situation with my employment.

I discussed how God was revealing to me that I was losing my zeal at work. I was confused and I knew confusion wasn’t of God. I thought that my answer was right there in my face and that I needed to turn and go back to my former employer because my current job was difficult. I started to pray to ask God to let my transition be smooth and let this be the right decision. I thought I was doing the right thing by running back to my comfort zone. I was all prepared to tell my boss that I was leaving, well I actually did tell her I was leaving. The conversation was totally different than what I expected. God was right there the entire time and she didn’t even know she was ministering to me. She discussed that I was so close to what God has for me but if I turn and leave now her exact words were “You will be committing career suicide.” That statement really made me think. She also began to tell me that if I run from the unknown and difficult times then I will never be who I was ordained to be. This statement also pierced my soul. She didn’t take I was leaving as my final answer instead she told me to go pray and discuss it with some people that wanted to see me advance in my career.

You know I immediately remembered what one of my good friends discussed with me about the situation. She said that she hoped I wasn’t in the wilderness and I was going back to Egypt. I laughed until I went to my Bible and it stated “And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron: and the whole congregation said unto them, Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would that we had died in this wilderness! And wherefore doth Jehovah bring us unto this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will be a prey: were it not better for us to return into Egypt? And they said one to another, Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt.”( Numbers 14:1-4) After praying and assuming I had received my answer, God still covered me the same as He had the children of Israel when they wanted to run back to what they knew. I begin to think about how close I was and yet I would rather go back to my former employer because of comfort. The children of Israel forget about the beatings and other ill treatment they received while in Egypt because this uncomfortable place only makes them think of the good times and not the bad. How soon we forget!

If the Lord delights in us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey. (Numbers 14:8) I begin to think about how Israel was so close to the promise land but because the spies told them that there were giants and huge walls in the land of milk and honey they were ready to run. Even though God promised them this land and some even saw the land they still didn’t believe they would ever make to the promise land. I can relate because I am so close to walking into my destiny that it seems surreal. Yes, there are going to be giants and high walls but God is equipping me for success. Then the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are.” So they brought to the people of Israel a bad report of the land that they had spied out, saying, “The land, through which we have gone to spy it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people that we saw in it are of great height. And there we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak, who come from the Nephilim), and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them.” (Number 13: 31-33) I felt like Israel, I began to ask God how was this my promise land when it seemed as if this journey was becoming too hard. God sent me a Caleb that explained to me that being in the wilderness doesn’t feel good. It’s very uncomfortable. So even though my Egypt seems like it was better than my current situation, it is not in God’s will for me to return. I thank You God for showing me how truly blessed I am and that You are turning it around for me!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for turning it around for me when I didn’t even realize You were turning it around. God continue to cover me as I go through my wilderness experiences. I know You didn’t promise me that the wilderness would be comfortable but God give me the strength to endure. Please fill me with guidance, wisdom, understanding and confidence to conquer giants and high walls that may be in my promised land. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to let God be God and turn it around for you. Remember even in the wilderness you are blessed. We all have wilderness experiences and whatever your experience is don’t run back to Egypt. I want you to know that the promise land is closer than you think. Don’t run back to easy but embrace the difficulties in the wilderness because you will win at the end. I pray that every woman reading this EmpowerMoment will face her wilderness head on because that’s the only way you are going to make it to the promise land. I EMPOWER you to share your wilderness experience.

Please listen to Fred Hammond and Radical for Christ as they remind us that even in our darkest hour We Are Blessed

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Mrs. Keviyona Ray is an ordained minister and co-pastor in training of The Christ For All People International Church. She is passionate about sharing the word of God with everyone she encounters. As a professional, Keviyona is a teacher for Chicago Public Schools. She loves her ministry of teaching and changing children’s lives. She is a devoted wife and mother of a wonderful daughter. Two of her favorite scriptures are Jeremiah 1: 5: “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations” and Proverbs 29:18: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:4-5 NIV)

Recently, I stepped into my restroom at home and noticed something drastically different when I switched on the lights. It was so noticeable that I stood for a moment or two determined to figure out what was so different. After looking up, down and all around, it finally dawned on me that the lights were brighter. We have four vanity bulbs that provide lighting for that room. However, for as long as I can remember, they’ve only been operating at half capacity; at least two bulbs have been out at all times. So when I entered the restroom that day, I was a bit taken aback at how bright it was. After inquiring, I found that my husband had replaced the old, blown bulbs and now the fixture was operating as it should. This was great until I realized what the extra lighting was revealing. You see, we have white ceramic floor tiling in the bathroom. Now that it was super bright, we could see all of the blemishes and stains on the floor. Keep in mind that I have three small children that are constantly tracking up the floors. Thus for me, extra light equaled extra cleaning! I almost called my husband to tell him that he should have never replaced the bulbs, but I realized that I sounded quite ridiculous!

Unfortunately, as ludicrous as my thinking was, there are so many of us who want to keep the lights dim on our lives so that we are not forced to see the blemishes and stains that need to be cleaned up! We claim to be living in the light, but choose to hang around dark places with people who also like being in the dark so that we don’t have to confront our issues. When we have sin that we hold close to our heart and don’t want to let go, we tend to surround ourselves with people and things that won’t challenge our behavior and most definitely won’t shine any light on our dark areas. You know what I mean, right? We like to fornicate so we don’t hang with our girlfriend that’s living that “celibate life”. We enjoy an occasional blunt or two, so instead of being out and about with people who are simply high off of life, we would rather stay home where we can smoke our weed freely. We are in darkness, refusing to turn the lights up because we don’t want our stains exposed. However, no matter how hard we try to hide our flaws from ourselves and others, there is no keeping them from God! We allow His light to shine on some areas, but others we prefer to remain in the dark. Nevertheless, now is the time to turn up ALL OF THE LIGHTS! As a matter of fact, I can hear Him saying, “Turn up the lights in here… Extra bright I want y’all to see this…I want you to see EVERYTHING!”

God desires to us become everything that He predestined us to be. He is interested in seeing us prosper successfully, while serving Him and bringing glory to His kingdom. In order to fully achieve this, we must be without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:27 NIV) Of course this isn’t an overnight process, but the key is to have the LIGHT from the SON shining in our life. Once we allow the SON, Jesus, to completely reign in our life, His LIGHT beams into our lives and reveals all of the blemishes that are hindering us from progressing and prospering. Once He reveals our stains to us, if we submit to the cleansing process, He uses His very own blood to clean us up! But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. (I John 1:7 NKJV)

We all have blemishes that we know exist and then those that are not even visible to our own eyes. That’s why it’s so important to ask God to reveal the REAL you to you! Pray Psalm 139:23-24 often so that He can show you the dirty stuff that’s hidden deep in the crevices of your heart. Hearken His command to turn up ALL OF THE LIGHTS!

Dear Daddy,

Turn up the lights in my life! Please search my heart and reveal to me the spots, blemishes and dirtiness in my life that is preventing me from becoming all that You designed me to be! When You reveal those things to me, please give me the will to submit to Your blood cleansing process. I don’t want to live in the darkness. Instead I choose to walk in the LIGHT that shines from the SON! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to simply turn on ALL OF THE LIGHTS! It’s time to stop dwelling in that dark place just because you don’t want to address your issues. God sees all of your flaws and He is ready and willing to clean you up! He is ready to do whatever it takes to get you to your destiny. He has already vowed to work with you until you’re complete, if you’re willing to stay the course as well. Just as the song says, “If you want it, you can get it for the rest of your life!”

As you listen to All of the Lights by Kanye West, think about what dark areas you need to shed some light on.

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Mrs. Kristen Harris is a wife, mother, entrepreneur and dedicated servant-leader. She is extremely passionate about women’s spiritual advancement, hence the founding of EmpowerMoments. As an avid reader, Kristen enjoys reading the Bible and other non-fiction pieces. Her driving inspiration is when God says to her: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) She currently resides outside of Chicago, Illinois with her wonderful husband and three lovely daughters where she is an active member of New Life Covenant Church.

June is Black Music Month! To celebrate, each of our EmpowerMoments will be based on Black music for the entire month. This includes Black songwriters, producers or performers. Stay tuned as we use various genres of Black music to tell our stories and exemplify the beauty of God’s love!  He can be found virtually anywhere if we earnestly look for Him and listen intently! Happy Black Music Month! Dance as if no one is watching!

The song I chose this week is by an artist that I’m no a huge fan of but I heart this song: Rihanna’sUmbrella. I had another song chosen but God placed this one on my heart. Not sure who needs this but I hope that it touches you the same way it did for me when I actually took it apart.

I spoke with a friend earlier this week that was going through something. He was talking about everything that seemed to be going wrong for him. His list of issues seemed to be very long. There were so many things that he was aiming for but he seemed to keep missing the mark.

You have my heart
And we’ll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you’ll still be my star

Baby cause in the dark
You can’t see shiny cars
And that’s when you need me there
With you I’ll always share

This verse seemed to go with where he was as well as a place many of us have been. When things are going great for us we can clearly see our path and where we are going. The light is so bright that we can pretty much get where we are going. It’s when things go dark that we lose our way. We have to remember that we are following God always…no matter what the conditions. We always praise Him when things are going great. We hold fast to all those things that make us happy. It’s when those things are no longer there that we have to remember that it is never the things we should seek but the face of God!

You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall and like the heat of the desert. You silence the uproar of foreigners; as heat is reduced by the shadow of a cloud, so the song of the ruthless is stilled. (Isaiah 25: 4-5 NIV)  

These fancy things, will never come in between
You’re part of my entity, here for infinity
When the war has took it’s part
When the world has dealt it’s cards
If the hand is hard, together we’ll mend your heart

We should never look to people or things to make us happy. It is only through Christ that we find true happiness. Everything else is an added bonus. I told my friend that sometimes God will remove all those other things that we tend to focus on to try to bring our focus back to Him. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8: 38-39 NIV)

You can run into my arms
It’s okay don’t be alarmed
Come here to me
There’s no distance in between our love

So go on and let the rain pour
I’ll be all you need and more

No matter what, it is so good to know that we can always look to God to be our shelter. It is only through Him that we can face the storms ahead.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for being my shelter in a time of storm. Please allow me to stay focused on You and what Your plan is for my life. Help me to ignore the distraction and keep my mind on You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today, I EMPOWER you to focus on God.  He is your refuge in any STORM. Keep your mind on Him and know that all things will be given to you according to HIS will.

Listen to Rihanna’s “Umbrella” and reflect on how He has sheltered you. If you can’t view the video click here.

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Shawna Dix is a mother, educator, and all around child of God. She is passionate about God, her son Jalen, family, friends, and her students. She loves teaching because it allows her to shower our youth with love and guidance. She resides in Pentagon City, Virginia and works hard educating inner city youth in Washington DC. She prides herself in being a realist. She exclaims that she is in no way, shape, form, or fashion perfect but she has accepted that she serves a perfect God who is able to do ALL things!

Have you ever needed someone so bad but he ain’t willing to make it last? Sometimes you gotta lose to win again.  If it makes you cry, cry, cry and you do is fight can’t get no sleep at night.  Sometimes you gotta lose to win again.

These lyrics are from Fantasia’s song, Lose to Win. Whenever I hear Fantasia sing or perform this song, I can feel her passion. It’s as if she actually lives inside these lyrics.  I can also relate to this song.  It gives me the notation to not be disappointed by closed doors.  When you lose you think of letting go, moving past or failing to complete a task.  Sometimes our disappointments in life can become God’s appointments.

The entire chapter of Acts 16 talks about Paul and his journey.  Some instances doors were shut in his path.  Others showed how the spirit of Jesus did not allow him to go to certain areas.  God called Paul to preach the good news.  God was at work saving the Gentiles.  God was in the process of taking the gospel to the Roman Empire.  Paul found that his journey was easier when he followed God’s plan.  Following God isn’t just about the destination; it’s also about the journey.

You have to sometimes lose to win. You will have to lose pride, lose friends, lose companionship, lose jobs, and lose possessions. The things we think of as failures and problems can often end up being blessings in disguise. Don’t let the devil fool you; always seek God first.  If God has clearly sent you in a certain direction and the devil tries to close the door then you must knock it down!  When God said “no” to Paul it was because he was going to say “yes” to something better.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverancethe race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1 NIV)

Dear Daddy,

I trust You in all that I do.  I know that I have missed my mark at times, but I thank You for another chance.  Thank You for closing doors that meant me no good and opening doors that pushed me closer to my destiny.  Help me to recognize the difference.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to recognize that God’s will for your life is the best.  We are all human and we think we know what’s best, but sometimes we have to lose in order to win again. 

As you listen to Fantasia’s Lose to Win, reflect on all of the situations that your setbacks were merely setups!

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Ms. Hassanah White is a dedicated member of Faith Walkers Church in Birmingham, Alabama where their motto is to “Walk it out by Faith.”  She also serves as a member of the Praise Dance Ministry.  Hassanah is a true professional in the realm of marketing and customer service.  She’s a proud mother of a very energetic little boy named Jaden.  Hassanah believes laughter and prayer are the best medicines for any situation.  Her favorite scripture is Hebrews 11:6: “And without Faith it is impossible to please GOD, because anyone who comes to Him must BELIEVE that He exists and that He REWARDS those who earnestly seek Him.”

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

One day I was driving in my car frustrated at my situation. My husband was in law school at the time and I was working at home part-time. We barely were able to make ends meet, yet they were met (insert praise break here!). I remember thinking to myself, “Lord did you really mean for us to drop everything and pause our lives for this new venture?” I was so distraught; I was sad and sobbing. Then I turned on the radio and heard the words, “There will be a praise, after this. There will be joy, after this. There will be a testimony, after this.” I began bobbing my head, sobbing and singing, praising and crying, because God reminded me through that song, that there will be victory after my current situation.

This is one of my shorter EmpowerMoments because I feel like the words of the song pretty much say it all. “There will be glory after this.” A part of the song says, “God will turn it around, He will bring you out.” And I believe this to be true. God’s Word says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV. So yes, He can turn it all around!

Being honest, sometimes I want to quit fighting. Fighting to keep the faith, fighting to keep hope, fighting that there will be a brighter future, and fighting that the dreams God placed in me will come to pass. But I have to remind myself, God specializes in things impossible. Isaiah said, “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 KJV So I have to keep fighting, keep running the race that is before me. I have to also remember, that He didn’t place those visions in my spirit in vain. I’m reminded, “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 NIV He’s a promise keeper!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for reminding me that after my trials, tests, mountains, and pain, there will be GLORY!! Lord, help me to remember that You are a redeemer, a promise keeper, and a rewarder of those who serve You with their whole heart. Lord, please help me to be careful to always praise You during my trials so that I can stand as a witness of Your Word when my testimony comes. Thank You for never leaving me and reminding me that there is more in store for me in Your will. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Women of God, I EMPOWER you to remember there is a glory after your trial. “There will be a praise after this, there will be joy after this, there will be a testimony after this, there will be glory after this! You’ll have more anointing and more power! Just wait!”

This EmpowerMoment is dedicated to every single mother who’s struggling to make it; there will be glory after this!

Get your praise on listening to J.J. Hairston and Youthful Praise. If you, can’t view the video below, please click here.

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As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is a university administrator. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV) Khalilah also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. She resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their two daughters. They are actively connected to St. Luke Christian Church of Huntsville, AL and Vaughn Forest Church of Montgomery, AL. Currently they are moving to Orange Beach, AL and are excited about the Lord leading them to a new church home.

No limits
No boundaries
I see increase
All around me
Stretch forth
Break forth
Release me
Enlarge my territory

Having a car or driving has always been a symbol of freedom—freedom to travel, come and go and get around quickly and whenever you choose. I have spent most of my life taking public transportation and although I get around the city as if I have a car, I realize I am limited in my travels. Not too long ago, I wrote an EmpowerMoment entitled Look Where You Want to Go! about retiring my bus pass and fixing my eyes on Jesus and the place I want to be in my life.

Ladies, I am excited to say after a couple of expired permits, time and fear, I recently passed the driving test and received my driver’s license. I thank God for His timing and the people He put in my life to encourage me and Elder Heath who instructed me for two months. I also thank my mom who was my role model; she got her driver’s license in her early forties and reminded me that no matter how old or who laughs to keep pressing.

You too may have let your permit(s) expire. You may have made it to your last year of school but something is standing in the way of you getting your diploma. You may have been on date after date, but are no closer to having that right relationship leading to marriage. Every time you save money for emergencies, it gets snatched away. You may be going round and round in the same old issues, free one minute, bound the next. You may have been spending quality time with God and experiencing His presence but now distractions, illness, etc. has left you feeling disconnected from God. You have goals and dreams, but no clue as to what to do next.

Well, let me tell you about Jabez. The Bible doesn’t tell you much about him; however, we do know his name means pain, that he was more honorable than his brothers, and that he cried out to God:

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. (1 Chronicles 4:9-10 NIV)

Although Jabez’ name meant pain, he didn’t let that determine his character or keep him down. You may live in a city full of violence. You may be in a wheelchair. You may have never known a father’s love. You may have been conceived and born from a sinful relationship. These may be or were your circumstances, but they do not define you or determine your future. They do not have to limit your happiness, possibilities, or success. I am reminded that we were born into sin, but Jesus died for our sins so we do not have to stay in that position.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for enlarging my territory. This is just the beginning and I believe that “enlarging my territory” isn’t just about expanding physical borders or taking territories physically, but taking the limits off of your children spiritually, financially, etc. I thank You for with You all things are possible and I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. I love You Father and I desire for You to even take any limits that I created off of our relationship. Help me to become more intimate with You, more transparent and more dependent. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to realize that God desires for His people to be blessed and our territories enlarged. He wants us to conquer territories that the devil has dominated and overcome roadblocks the devil puts in place to block our progress or destroy our influence amongst the nations. Ladies, let’s allow God to move in our lives as we look to Him, obey Him, ask according to His will, walk in love, and maintain character, integrity and a covenantal position with God. Let us look toward Jesus and no longer focus on our past circumstances, failures or frailties. When our territories are enlarged, the Lord touches our lives in a way that reveals HIS GLORY!

Please enjoy this inspirational song by Israel Houghton & New Breed entitled:

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Ms. Tannika Moore loves the Lord and loves to write! Besides writing poetry or editing written work for family and friends, she currently works for NEIU Educational Talent Search program. She help assists Chicago public high school students with their reading, writing, etc. as well as helps them consider and prepare for college God, the Creator and Great Father has also created her to be a Compassion Person and Encourager and so she loves to encourage people according to God’s Word and help them to see, think and become better through her support, actions and writing. Her favorite scripture comes from Philippians 1:6, For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you shall perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 NIV

Ladies, are you afraid of being ALONE? I don’t mean alone in your house, but alone because you lack companionship from the opposite sex.

Recently, I was reflecting on some of my previous relationships. I use the term “relationship” loosely because the common theme in all of these relationships is that we were never official. You know, we were just “talking” and/or “fooling around.” In many instances these pseudo relationships almost felt real, but they lacked commitment and I wasn’t forcing the issue. I was afraid that if I did force the issue, I would end up “alone.” Who really wants that? Having “someone” was better than no one…right? Wrong! I was giving pieces of my heart away on a hope and a dream, and their actions were only validating my feelings that although I was “with” someone, I was still “alone.”

Please tell me what, what you wanna do
My heart belongs to you and I don’t know what to do
You say that you still love me
It’s not in your actions so what’s the distraction?

We’re falling, falling apart
Feels like our ending, it’s not like the start
Please won’t you tell me the truth
Instead of always just leaving me here alone

As I am reminded of Ledisi’s ballad “Alone,” I know that I have felt this way, earnestly. Even when I was told that I was loved, the lack of real commitment left me feeling alone. I opened up my mind, my heart and my body because I thought that I would no longer feel “alone.”

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

Because I opened my heart to people who really weren’t ready for it, I allowed my emotions to make my decisions. Those decisions were often not in my best interest and the actions of those pseudo companions left me feeling dejected.

It has taken quite some time, but I am finally reaching a place where being “alone” is less an issue if it means that I am able to reject relationships that aren’t fruitful. What’s the point if we aren’t going anywhere? This EmpowerMoment doesn’t seek to minimize my desire for companionship or preach the “I’m married to Jesus” message because I recognize that the desire that I have is natural. Many of my friends have encouraged me to “go online” and while I’ve been that route before and have nothing against it, it’s not the space I am in right now. I’ve never been a serial dater and don’t want to deal with the momentary satisfaction. In the midst of my yearning for true companionship, I must avoid situations that only fill temporary voids. In the meantime, I am also learning to pray differently about my future mate so that I won’t make the mistakes of the past. I am learning to be satisfied while “alone.”

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for teaching me that I can’t hold anyone responsible for the matters of my heart because You instructed me to guard my heart. I am grateful that You continue to make me more mature in my spirit concerning relationships. Give me a spirit of discernment to recognize those who would abuse my heart and courage to move on and away from them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to reevaluate your relationships. Are you and someone still lingering around because you are afraid of being ALONE? Let it go! Be confident, courageous and make a decision knowing that being “alone” is sometimes the best time you can spend with yourself.

Please enjoy this ballad by Ledisi entitled: Alone

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Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me.”

June is Black Music Month! To celebrate, each of our EmpowerMoments will be based on Black music for the entire month. This includes Black songwriters, producers or performers. Stay tuned as we use various genres of Black music to tell our stories and exemplify the beauty of God’s love!  He can be found virtually anywhere if we earnestly look for Him and listen intently! Happy Black Music Month! Dance as if no one is watching!

Disclaimer: Today’s EmpowerMoment is for the MATURE and MARRIED folks! We are going to discuss something that rarely gets any pulpit time…

Over a year ago I attended a women’s retreat with my church. I’ve been to several retreats in the past, but nothing as amazing as that purging, life changing experience.  During one of the sessions, the facilitators gave us a packet to fill out. The questionnaire was for not for anyone else to review, rather it was a chance for us to really examine what was at the core of a lot of our issues. (There is something very cathartic about pouring your heart out on paper.) The packet started off with basic questions like your name, age, Christian experience, etc. I was breezing through the questions thinking, “This is a piece of cake!” Then the questions started to get a little more intense asking things about our past…you know those “have you ever” questions that anyone with a checkered past dreads so much! But even those questions were easy to answer as most of it I had already discussed at one time or another. It was until around page 8 that I got a little stuck. The question read, “Are you sexually frigid?” Honestly, I wasn’t even sure what the question meant so I skipped over it to come back to it later. After all, that’s what we were taught in regards to our standardized tests, right? After completing the rest of the packet, I returned to that question and pondered it for a while. I was still drawing a blank. I knew what sexually meant and I knew what frigid meant, but what exactly did they mean together? At that moment, my heart began pounding fast and my throat tightened. That was a clear indication that I NEEDED to know what this question meant. I raised my hand and asked for clarification…

“What does this mean” pointing to the page 8? “Sexually frigid means being cold in bed…ummm kind of acting like you really don’t want to be there.”  Maybe my facial expression said guilty as charged or maybe God moved her spirit, but she instantly slipped into a profound prayer. I’m convinced it was the latter because the things that she prayed only He would have known. Page number 8 forever changed my life and marriage…

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  (1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NLT)

Yes, I was indeed guilty of being sexually frigid. Sex was a pawn that I used to get what I wanted and when things didn’t go my way, I withdrew. Sometimes I would only engage because I knew what 1 Corinthians said and wanted to act like I was obeying it. But it was just as if I was disobeying God because my heart and mind were not engaging with my body.

In her book, For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn explains that men need fulfilling sex to feel loved, desired and confident.  It is important that we give the kings in our lives the boost they need to face the challenges that they meet on a daily basis. I once read this quote that I replay anytime the enemy is trying to convince me that I don’t want or need to satisfy my husband: “satan loves marriage without sex just as much as he loves sex without marriage.” In essence, fornication and withholding in marriage have the same detrimental effect and leave no one happy but the devil! Page number 8 changed my life and marriage in more ways than one. I implore you to take my advice and change yours!

Dear Daddy,

Please forgive me for the times that I didn’t do what you commanded me as a wife to do. Remind me daily that my body is not my own. Give me burning desire for the man who You created just for me! Thank You for the wonderful gift of sex! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER to you get BETWEEN THE SHEETS! EMPOWER your husband’s confidence by giving him what he needs to face the world. EMPOWER your marriage by vowing to have a healthy, active and happy sex life!

P.S. Visit our friends over at Christian Nymphos if you need some ideas!

Turn on The Isley Brother’s “Between the Sheets” and celebrate Black Music Month with your hubby in between the sheets! If you can’t view the video below, please click here.

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Mrs. Kristen Harris is a wife, mother, entrepreneur and dedicated servant. She is extremely passionate about women’s spiritual advancement, hence the founding of EmpowerMoments. As an avid reader, Kristen enjoys reading the Bible and other non-fiction pieces. Her driving inspiration is when God says to her: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) She currently resides outside of Chicago, Illinois with her wonderful husband and three lovely daughters where she is an active member of New Life Covenant Church.

Erykah Badu and Common could have been talking about Jesus when they penned the words, “Love of my life, you are my friend, love of my life, I can depend…” but they weren’t. They were referring to a relationship between man and woman. However, if you think about the love relationship that we should have with God, some of the words are so fitting.

My husband and I started off as friends. We’d first met when we were both in junior high school at a college summer program. We formed a fast friendship and kept in touch after the summer program ended. Ultimately, we ended up at the same college upon graduating high school where we remained only friends for most of our matriculation and after graduating we got married. As a couple, Love of My Life was one of “our” songs because some of the words, especially the chorus, resonated with us and our relationship. It was even the song that served as the sound track to the slide show that played at our wedding reception.

 “My love is his and his is mine, a friend became the love of my life…”

While seeking God in preparation to write an EmpowerMoment for Black Music Month, this song came to mind and I thought, isn’t this the kind of relationship Jesus wants us to have with Him. He is supposed to be the love of my life, the love of all of our lives.

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV)

Our love relationship with God should surpass any other love relationship. It can also serve as an illustration and representation of how true love between individuals should be. It is important that just as we nurture our human relationships and cultivate the love in our human relationships that we do the same thing with God. Love between two people is great, but love between you and the Savior is everlasting. Our love for God can never measure up to His love for us.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (I John 4:8 ESV)

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for being the love of my life! Thank You for allowing my love relationship with You to transcend into my other relationships. You are a shining example of what love is and should be. Help us to be more like You by loving like You. Strengthen our relationship with You, Father. Allow our light for You to be seen by others so that they may know of Your love and Your light. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to enhance your love relationship with God. I EMPOWER you to put no other relationship above your relationship with Him and to let him direct your other relationships. I EMPOWER you to love others as Christ has loved us, flawed and all. Lastly, I EMPOWER you to make Jesus the love of your life!

 As you listen to Love of My Life by Erykah Badu & Common, meditate on Jesus  and your relationship with Him.

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Mrs. Coretta Collins is a wife and mother who enjoys reading, writing, movies and spending time with family and friends. She is avid about health, healing and helping which serves her well as a registered nurse and recent Family Nurse Practitioner graduate. Striving to be led by the Lord throughout life and having overcome significant challenges, her favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Coretta is a member of St. John A.M.E. Church in Birmingham, Alabama. She resides in Calera, Alabama with her awesome husband and two wonderful sons.