Growth/Maturity, Honesty/Truth

The Ugly Truth

Seven years ago, I met a guy who was really not right for me but I accepted him into my heart and home anyway. He looked GOOD and I was lonely. Although his accomplishments and academic achievements differed from mine this had nothing to do with our compatibility. He wasn’t right for me because “he was sorry.”

My life was on an incline and his was flatlined with only “talk” about what he would do better. While he treated me okay and “talked a good game” I could no longer accept the less than substandard package I was presented with. One day, fed up with the quasi-dating, semi-shacking lifestyle that we were involved in, I put him out. I told him that he needed to get his s&@t together! Ladies, you have to understand as confrontational as I am in all other areas of my life when it comes to men I am on MUTE so iniating this conversation was extremely difficult. 

I wasn’t “breaking up” with him; I just wanted him to stay at his own place and court me like a real man. What I thought would snap him back into reality caused him to completely cut off contact with me. I was devastated. After he stopped talking to me, I saw him again only once before I moved. Since I left the Sunshine State in 2006 we have barely communicated. Our last communication ended in me telling him to NEVER contact me again and that to him meant it was dead.

 “And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free” John 8: 32

Fast forward to the present. A few weeks ago, this same guy called me and the conversation brought a smile to my heart. He told me that he never forgot me telling him to “get his s&@t together.” He was calling me to let me know that he had done just that. He has a great job and is working towards the next level in his career path. I literally had not seen him in five years. He told me that I inspired him and encouraged him to do better and although it took some time to get it together he wants to be a part of my life. I’m not from Missouri but I told him that he had to “Show Me”…and to his credit he has begun to do just that.

This story is less about our relationship and more about the fact that the words I used to transform his life were as important to me as they were to him. Even if we never date again, although uncomfortable, I planted seeds of truth that have now manifested. Sometimes it’s hard to say the thing that needs to be said, when it needs to be said and to whom you need to say it to. Personally, I have let many situations linger in my life simply because I knew revealing the truth would hurt. But when God speaks truth to you, be obedient because it can be a liberating process for both you and eventually the other person. It can breathe new life to a situation. I have since learned to speak the truth in a much gentler way, but I thank God that He could still promote change through my profane approach!

Dear Daddy,

When I don’t know how to speak Your truth give me the courage to say the words that need to be said. Help me to be truthful without being judgmental. Help me to accept the truth about myself when people tell me and to fix those areas that are in need of repair. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Today EMPOWER yourself by telling the TRUTH. You may not have a word for someone else because sometimes the person who needs to hear the truth is staring at us in the mirror. Acknowledge the message that God is giving you and speak TRUTH to Power!    

Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Atlanta, GA and is an entrepreneur as she is  the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister,  friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe. Her passage of study this week is Ezekiel 37: 1-14  vs. 4-6 “Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, “Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord”

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13 thoughts on “The Ugly Truth”

  1. Whew, that tongue is something else. As women, I find it interesting how God gave us jewel that can tear a man down and build him up at the same time. I recall the night before my husband decided to pursue a career in law. It was one of those “get your ……………… together, etc.” And now look at where he is……almost done with the first year and made TWO tournament teams. I too am trying to learn how to speak the truth in a more gentler way. Your Dear Daddy prayer will be printed and posted, I need to grow in this.

    Thanks Ace!

    1. I struggle with this tongue daily but I am learning to speak truth even when its uncomfortable. I’ve had to be honest with myself on some things as well. Ouch! I am glad that you enjoyed it.

  2. Our tongue can be a deadly weapon at times. Often times I can be very blunt with others but find it much harder to do with myself. Especially with personal relationships. I want to be able to speak the truth in a gentle way. I also want to accept the truth about myself and my relationships and repair those things. Thanks Chancee!!

    1. Yes Kristi! I have witnessed your verbal annihilation LOL! None of us are perfect but it is something that we have to work on. Sometimes we have to really seek God and ask him to speak through us…give us the words to say. Because sometimes the only thing in my mind are expletives and I am trying to do better with that.

  3. Great post!!! I am thoroughly enjoying the daily empowermoments… yesterday’s was very on time for my current situation and how I’m feeling about this milestone that is about to occur in my life..

  4. Chancee dont I know about being brutally honest. I really need to work on how I say things. I need to say this prayer every day, multiple times a day LOL!!!!!!

  5. Ms. Lundy… Ms. Lundy… I swear you just got ALL up in my BUSINESS!!!! Last week at bible study Bishop Walker spoke about guarding your tongue but still being able to speak the truth! Lord knows I am truly working on this because sometimes my mouth needs to washed out with soap! I am going to start saying this prayer regularly so that God can step right on in like He always does. Thanks for sharing or better yet relating.

    1. Latasha you are right sometimes we are called to speak the truth but we are also responsible for the truth that we speak …not only what we say but how we say it and the appropriate forum for saying it all of these things must be considered when sharing the truth.

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