Inspirational, Motivation, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Spiritual Therapy, Trusting God

The Love Letter

Dear God,

I have been hearing how people are so “blessed and highly favored” or “too blessed to be stressed” but Lord, I need to be real for a moment. I have been holding onto something and it is eating away at me. I am still mad that you birthed me to a crack head mother and a dead beat dad. I was probably a mistake and not even supposed to be here; I definitely could tell that I wasn’t wanted. I am still upset that you allowed my uncle to rape and molest me without coming to my rescue. How could you do this to me? All of this hurt and anger I have built up has made me to live a life full of mistakes, pain, and hurt. I made a mistake when I aborted those babies and I regret it every day. Are you punishing me, still? God, I am so sorry, but I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know who the father was. I am so upset with myself for disappointing You. On top of all of this, the one woman I did love and whom I considered my mother, you took her away from me too. So how can I walk around as if I am blessed and highly favored? I’m hurting; I’m sad, mad, and angry. I feel left out Lord…I thought you loved me. I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m lonely and sad. I’m depressed at the thought of not being loved by anyone. I stick out; I don’t fit in, why am I like this?

Love, Your Wounded Baby Girl

Dear Daughter,

I chose your mother as a vessel to be used by me. Before you were created in her womb I knew the plan for your life, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)I took my time to knit you together (Psalms 139:13). I was there, although grieved, when you were sacrificed and your virtue stripped from you. But I am also a God of restoration. I heal the brokenhearted and I tend to your wounds. (Psalm 147:3) I made a promise to you that I am with you always even to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:20) You say that you aren’t attractive, I say I made you in my image.(Genesis 1:27) I made you fearful and wonderful (Psalms 139:14). I made your hair like lambs skin, your eyes like the sun, you lips full like ripened fruit, and your stature like the rolling hills. I made you on purpose, I made you like me…you are beautiful. My spirit was grieved when you aborted those babies and of course I also know of  your other wrong doings. But remember that son I sacrificed? He shielded you with His blood and mercy and presented you to me faultless (Colossians 1:22) Walk in freedom my dear! Your earthly mother was my angel, she taught you how to fly, take care of yourself, and she showed you me. It was time for her to return so that you could do what I have for you to do. There are younger daughters that walk around in guilt and shame every day. Who can touch them but you? Who can show them that I can heal the wounded heart but you? Who can show them that a daughter of a crack head can be a Queen of Success, but you? My Son can plead on your behalf because He took on all sin. You can plead on someone else’s behalf because you have walked where they have walked. Don’t hold your victory, share your story to edify me that someone else, some hopeless little girl like you once were, can be saved. You were restored a long time ago, now walk in it. I love you.

Love, God

This letter was written from parts of my life and the various lives of women that I have encountered on my journey. As Christians we sometimes seem insane to believe and love a God that has allowed misfortune to happen to us. But what the devil meant for your bad, God will turn around for your good. Sister, know that God loves you and the triumphs we overcame are stalks of wisdom that can be used to heal and comfort someone else. And know this, all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). It takes time to heal, but in time you shall be healed.

Dear Daddy,

I know sometimes I get angry or ashamed of my past. “Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears. (Psalms 39:12)”. Teach me how to let go so that I can use what You have implanted in me for Your Glory and to help someone else. I know that you are a rewarder of those that diligently seek you. Heal my wounds, and if they are already healed, strengthen me to walk in your boldness with liberty. Help me to bless someone that needs me; keep my eyes and ears sensitive to her call. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today, EMPOWER yourself by sharing with God all of your angers, fears, and disappointments and TRUST that His word will not return void.  Psalms 6:9 reminds us “The Lord heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Start seeking to encourage and EMPOWER others that may be going through what you have OVERCOME. God has given you confirmation in His word that you are already restored and healed, for His word says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6.  She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Huntsville, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three year old daughter where they attend St. Luke Christian Church.

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17 thoughts on “The Love Letter”

  1. KAY…Khalilah, I’m seating here at my little counter literally in tear’s! It’s so funny how we try and cover and hide what’s hurting us deep down inside. But the funny party as you well stated, God knows and feels our hurts, thoughts, disappointments and break down’s! Thank you and thank God for the reminder that I am covered by the blood of Jesus. As well as forgiven. Keep giving us the word and the truth…

    1. Marquetta, I’m glad you were blessed by it. This was a very interesting post for me because I feel like, I literally did not write this, it was almost an outer body experience writing this post. Yes you are …………..covered!!! Thanks for reading and commenting. Have a blessed purpose filled day!

  2. This letter response and prayer were beautiful. I plan to share these words with every woman on my email list. Thank you so much for sharing.

    may God continue to bless your journey.

    1. Beverly, may the word of God go forth. I am overwhelmed of the thought of God’s word spreading in this way. Isn’t God something? Thanks for the encouragement and God bless you too.

  3. I just want extend more encouragement to you all. I’ve received a lot of emails and texts regarding this post. Just know, nothing is too hard for God. I am so relieved to know that you have been blessed and set free from the post. God loves you abundantly, His love is your strength to keep going.

  4. This spoke to my soul. Only God knows what you need exactly when you need it. Some of the things in this story mirror my own life and Lord knows I have needed this word. I know that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God and that he is ever present in every situation I have been through and every situation that I am going through. I love him because even when I think he has forgotten about me or is angry with me …he is always there still protecting me. Thanks Kay for being used as a vessel to deliver his word.

    1. God Bless you Ms. Lundy!!! God truly know what to say and how to say. I’ve read this post a hundred times and still amazed at what was written. I’m so glad he is a protector and ever present help! Thanks for stopping by to post.

  5. Khalilah my eyes teared up as I read this. I can relate to some of the things you have encountered. My mother is on drugs and has been for over twenty years. I have been bitter towards her for forever, but as I have prayed and put it in God’s hands my disposition towards her is gradually changing. I can’t even explain how this has touched me.

    1. Amber, my prayer for this post was that God broke chains of bondage. I had no idea the type of impact this would have, but I had to trust God…and I extend that same trust to you. Trust God in the situation and watch Him work. That is a major step you’ve made…….continue in God’s love and he will create in you a new heart. God bless…..

  6. Just like all the women who commented already and those who read it and didnt, I had to fight back tears as I read this because this too parallels my story in so many ways. Kay, I thank you for the courage to expose the enemy in a such a way! I told you Wednesday when I read this that God was using you to free someone! I pray covering over you and your family because I KNOW the devil is peed off!

    This post reminds me of the lyrics of a song of Kirk Franklin’s new album. Its the last track on the CD (not sure of the name) but its says: “You became just like me to unlock and set free this prisoner that was deeply wounded and redeemed the me I could not see!” We all have a “me” deep inside that we don’t even know yet and until we allow Jesus’ blood and God’s healing power to release us, we will never meet that “me.” Praise GOD!

    1. Krissy, I teared up reading this myself. Especially at God’s response. He is so loving, my mind can’t even capture it. My prayer is that the love of God was displayed along with the hope of restoration.

  7. To this post:I am SO here right now! God is using my experience to testify that there IS another side to the hurt, shame, struggle & abuse. Every time I wonder why God keeps me in public schools, He sends me a young lady or young man with a story just like mine; except it’s their present & my past…& wouldn’t you know, God is so rockin’, that every time I’m willing to be transparent, every time I share how God is healing, restoring, & making me whole STILL, it reminds me of just how much He loves me & Lord knows I need that reminder everyday several times a day.

    Kay, thanks for letting God use you!

    1. I tell ya, God is so on time, but doesn’t it seem that we just thinks he’s late……or hasn’t even arrived or handled a situation. Them, bam………there’s that student that needs you. I pray God continues to give you the strength and resources that you need to be a blessing to your students. Thank you for reading and posting.

  8. K, this post was for ALL women!!! As stated earlier by everyone else I almost cried because this truly spoke to many of the issues that I had let go and Let GOD!!! Thanks for being soooo honest… WE needed it!

    1. Thank you for posting. God is an “all opportunity” God, everyone can come to him, with anything. I am so glad he loves me.

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