Growth/Maturity, Relationships, Single in the City Series, Singleness, Spiritual Therapy

Single in the City

Over the course of the week I have been wondering what my Empowermoment would be about.  The last few weeks were easy to start and finish because of the abundant blessings that were falling from above right into my lap!  This week I am still being blessed but nothing in particular stood out.

Then it hit me, I have been getting attacked from the enemy and did not pay it much attention.  For the past seven days I have had ongoing troubles with the opposite sex.  Just for clarification purposes, I told you all a few weeks back that I had restored my relationship with God after being in a two year situation that had no purpose. I decided to go back to the drawing board and start just DATING!

I must admit the dating game changes dramatically once you begin an intimate walk with Jesus. There are certain characteristics that I am seeking and I am unwilling to budge on them!  A prime example is that the next person that I enter a serious relationship with MUST have a relationship with Christ.  Finding someone with those credentials is a huge challenge!

I already know what you’re thinking… I am not supposed to find my husband he is supposed to find me. I get that but apparently this meaningless dating is just that meaningless. I have yet to meet anyone who is half way equally yoked with me.  But the word of God reminded me that “I am the truevine, and my father is the husbandman.” (John 15:1)  I must stay connected to the truevine and be in close relationship with Jesus BEFORE Mr. Right shows up.

In the past I made many mistakes by allowing the men in my life to consume my every waking moment when in reality that is where God is to be.  Being a single Christian woman is one of the hardest obstacles that I have to encounter in life.  Some days I am so filled with the goodness of Jesus that a husband is the last thing on my mind.  Other days, I am so lonely, yearning for the company or affection of the opposite sex that I want to cry.  This is truly an upward battle but I am determined to make it to the top of the hill.  Just the other day, in the midst of it all I had to say this prayer:

Dear Daddy,

Thank you for being the LOVE of my life!! I am determined to keep my mind stayed on you while you prepare me for my future spouse.  Just as you are molding me, I know that he is on the potter’s wheel as well and staying connected to you is how he will find me.  Please continue to wrap your arms around me when the spirit of loneliness tries to fester that I might not waste my time with insignificant relationships but rather fine tune ours! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

There is more to come on this saga but for now I urge all of the single Christian women to EMPOWER yourself to let go and be with God.  Society makes us feel as if we are worthless without a spouse but in reality we have the BEST MAN waiting on us to get on our knees for some quality time!  To all the married Christian women, I encourage you to EMPOWER yourself to look past the small stuff your better half does to get under your skin.  Trust me this single life is NOT all it’s cracked up to be!!! Have a blessed week ladies!     

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She is a full time Workforce Analyst with Sprint Communications in Nashville, Tennessee. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17

12 thoughts on “Single in the City”

  1. I think being single is pretty special actually. I remember when I was single and I have the exact same epiphany. I began “dating Jesus”. I joke about how when I met my husband I almost over looked him because I was so stuck up in Jesus. I was in church one day and God showed me a scary vision. There was this woman on the alter and all of her past boyfriends entered and knelt at her feet. Standing off in the distance was a groom in all white splattered in blood. This vision was powerful because it was a reminder of a few things: 1) Heal from your past first, don’t rush and bring baggage. 2) Save yourself and recommit your body holy and wholly to God so that when your Groom comes he is not affected by the baggage from the others. Although drastic, its amazing how God restores us from our wounds, comforts our hearts, then redirects our focus. I am so proud of you for refocusing. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God……..and ALL these things shall be added unto you.” Your blog is a comfort to many.

    1. Thanks K! I needed that confirmation to keep me focused on Jesus. I must admit he is the best date ever… always on time, a complete gentleman, and an excellent listener… A man who? what? Smile!

    1. Thanks lady! They say its slim picking for good men I just believe that myself and others just are not ready yet. Till the time comes it will be me and Jesus and I am fine with that!

  2. Tasha,

    This is a GREAT post and very timely. I have A LOT to say…. As a married woman, I always tell my single friends that God sent my husband at the moment that I was soooo wrapped up in Him that I wasnt concerned with a relationship. Just as Kay stated above, I probably couldve missed him becuase I was too busy loving on Jesus. But I honestly believe that is why He decided to bless me with my husband—I had proven that nothing would change my relationship with Him and so He knew that He could trust me with a husband. Ladies: solidify your relationship with Him FIRST! Another thing is that when I was single, I could do so much more for the kingdom. As a married woman with children, I cannot committ the type of time that I used to. Maximize your season of singleness and watch how God blesses you!

    One of my favorite quotes: “Love is like a butterfly, the more you pursue it, the more it eludes you, but if you are calm and still it will land gently on you shoulder.”

    1. Kris Kakes that was sooo true! But it does get hard sometimes… I have started finding ways to spend more time with Jesus for example this blog and I finally joined a ministry- The Evangelism Team at church! I have faith that the closer I get to My God the closer my future husband is to me. Thanks for the encouragement!

  3. Tasha/Kristen,

    I always pray and ask God to send me a significant other that is a Christian whom praises and magnifies him. A few days ago I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I said okay let’s pray. His response was okay come on in a hasty irritable manner. It really worked my nerves. I am realizing that individuals do things in regards to God and their beliefs in their own time. But what is wrong with a friend, family member, or even a stranger wanting to pray for you. With that being said Isaid okay let’s say the serenity prayer. His tolerance didn’t change so before m time bomb went off. I let him go and prayed for him as I was praying. God is going to send you someone whenyou least expect it. Continue your relationship with God which has opened up my eyes to deepen mines with God.

  4. I’m going to hang in here Amber… Thanks for the motivation! I have decided that I am not going to pray for a mate anymore but rather a more fulfilling relationship with God and let Him do the rest. Thanks for sharing!

  5. At the sake of sounding sarcastic to the married women #sideeye, Latasha as a single woman I really understand where you are coming from. Last week when I blew out another candle on the birthday cake I had many of the same feelings you are discussing and I am nearly six years older than you. Having no husband and no kids in your 30’s is a very sobering thought…well at least it is for me…actually I get sad about it a lot more times than I would like to admit on this blog. I would be lying to you if I claimed otherwise. I thought my life would be MUCH different.

    I am really trying to convey my thoughts without running the risk of being sarcastic. I feel like a lot of times when single women have this conversation the responses we get from married Christians and people in general are similar to the posts above. I am conflicted because I am not sure if the only answer to having a mate is “falling in love with Jesus.” Does this mean that women who are spiritually grounded are somehow being punished or are missing something? I don’t know … this topic gets extremely frustrating for me because I feel like people come up with a Biblical anecdote every time the issue of “singleness” comes up. While Jesus goes with me everywhere I would also like to have a person of the opposite sex at the movies, dinner, trips etc…

    I enjoyed your blog and can identify with many of the things you are saying because many times we allow space fillers and other undeserving people in our lives trying to fill a void. It is something that I struggle with and really have to pray about. At the end of the day I am human and yearn for true companionship. I will continue to pray on this because as you can see this topic and the comments that followed really hit a sore spot with me.

  6. Latasha,

    Thanks for sharing. Being single at 40 is one of the biggest personal challenges in my life. Like you, I go back and forth about should I put myself out in the dating scene or wait for that special brother to show up?

    God says in the scripture that man was not meant to be alone. So I honor the fact that my feelings for desiring companionship are honorable. I feel like we as women sometimes are overly critical of ourselves for desiring a life mate. However, I believe God wired me this way.

    My test of faith is “am I willing to wait on the Lord?”. It’s hard but the scripture also says that those that wait on the Lord will have thier courage and faith.

    Thanks for sharing.

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