Children, Family, Growth/Maturity, Marriage, Patience, Relationships, Speech

Do You Understand the Words that are Coming Outta My Mouth?

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 NIV

I was meditating the other day about some things that have started to either come to life or have died in my life. When I was a new bride, I had an issue with this mouth thing. My new groom and I knew that I had an issue with my mouth, so this was the bulk of most of my prayers then. “Lord please help my mouth.” I was a nagging wife, but tried to act like I was “saying” things in a nice way so it would be masked as inquiries…WRONG.

Over the years, God had to deal with me about my mouth and how I approached my husband. When I said things like “Do you just not get what I am saying?” or “I can’t believe you would do that.” My mouth was casting murder on my husband. Through this death, it didn’t help that we were going through individual emotional problems, financial problems, job problems, and identity problems. Over the years God had to teach me the true underlying issue with taming my mouth. SELF CONTROL and PATIENCE. I had to learn to stop, wait, and think before I said something.  One of my spiritual mothers said to me, “Kay, what life are you speaking into your husband.” I couldn’t answer. I’d become so mad over the years because of my judgment of his decisions, different argument style or lack thereof that I didn’t know what to do.

God started showing me, in the midst of our discussions how to approach and respond to my husband. “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4 NIV). I started speaking life over my marriage and over my husband. I WAS THE ONE TO PUT THE SUPERMAN “S” ON HIS CHEST. When he made a decision I didn’t like, I waited maybe a day or two before responding. I would take my issue to the Lord for guidance on bridling my tongue.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) My theme scripture mentions he that loves his mouth will eat its fruits. I must say I am definitely eating “fresh” fruits from speaking gently to my husband. The return is one hundred fold.

Not only have I learned how to speak to my husband, but I am a new mom of one daughter. Raising her is all new to me. When I  started disciplining her, it was with harsh tones. “You BETTER not do that again, you hear me.” Or “If I have to tell you one more time (screaming at her) I am going to spank you.” I was convicted every time I spoke to her like that because I felt I was depositing deathly correction into her spirit. I walked by her room one day and saw her scolding her dolls. Saying my exact words and in my exact tone, I was heart broken. At that moment, and since then, I’ve learned to provide gentle, stern correction that’s not as irate. Before, I was bearing irate fruit from her. Now that I speak more gently, yet stern, even if the rod is coming afterwards, her spirit is not broken or degraded.

There is life or death in your tongue. You have the right to choose. You can say, “I hate my job”, and you will probably go into work with that attitude, have a bad day, and leave every day feeling defeated. Or, you can wake up saying. “Lord I thank you for giving me a job. Father help me to see the good in it until you see fit for me to move on.” You can tell your spouse, “I really wish you would get your act together”, which will lead to broken spirits, broken communication, and anger. Or you can say, “Honey, I believe in you. I know things may be tough right now, but I am certain (because you prayed) that God will give you the tools you need to move forward and I am backing you 100%.” You could walk around feeling defeated because you hate how you look, your personality, your weight, your hair. Or you could say, “Lord I love me some me. You made me wonderful and until I can see what you see, encourage me to smile, because you made me.” What you say can determine how your entire body reacts. Study James 3.

Dear Daddy,

Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. Thank you for this word today teaching me to control my tongue. I want to speak life, not death. I want to be an encourager, not a complainer. Help my mouth of praise carry over into my daily activities and my relationships. I love you for always speaking to me, so please help me to speak to others in a more virtuous way. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Is there an area in your life experiencing a premature death? Your tongue has the power to speak life. I EMPOWER you today to speak life into your dead situation and watch how God multiplies the fruit of it.

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As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6.  She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Huntsville, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter where they attend St. Luke Christian Church.

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18 thoughts on “Do You Understand the Words that are Coming Outta My Mouth?”

  1. Amen!!!! You can say that again. Lord knows I need all the help I can get in this area of my life. This is me NOW & I pray everday that God helps me with this. Thank you for the encouringing words.

  2. Isn’t God something. I had no idea my phone and facebook page would blow up after this post hit the world. God was talking to me in this post too. Anyone that knows me has probably felt the wrath of my mouth :-(. But thanks be to God for being a restorer, a corrector, and a guide. I want to speak life, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

    Don’t forget to subscribe, the comments you all have posted and texted on my FB wall can be blessings to someone else on here.

    God bless you all. #workinprogress

  3. Thanks so much for this post. It was extremely encouraging to me. I’m dealing with an interesting situation, that I’m constantly being tested in. I will continue to pray, that God will help me to think before I speak…..AMEN

  4. So I read todays EM as soon as it was posted but I am just responding because this HIT ME! I have been dealing with a situation and its effects have me lashing out at EVERYONE. My poor babies, the husband and everyone else. I really need to work on speaking life…EVEN when I dont feel like it. I thank you so much for allowing God to use to you to be open. I REALLY needed to read this. God Bless you Kay!

  5. I praise GOD for your message. John and I celebrated 31 years this year….we meant in 1980 and married in 1985….Sister/Mrs./Soror—-I could not have said it better myself. To GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!!!!

    1. Soror Herring, it’s women like you that have encouraged me along the way through your actions. To God be the glory! Thank you for reading!

  6. OMG, OMG, OMG, Mrs. Burton, I could not wait to get to a computer so that I can reply to this “Empowermoment”>>”DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUTTA MY MOUTH”..1st and FOREMOST, I thank GOD 4 You Khalilah, 4 using you, helping you, 4 everything. He is sooo FAITHFUL & JUST! I will be printing this devotional out and posting it somewhere in my house. I NEEDED 2 READ EVERYTHING U SAID! I too have some issues with “MY MOUTH” & OH DO I NEED GOD EVERY SECOND, MINUTE, & HOUR OF THE DAY…I am married and have 2 WONDERFUL DAUGHTERS 3 & 4 1/2…I am currently unemployed and @ home taking care of them..NO THEY R NOT IN SCHOOL OR DAYCARE (INSERT PRAYER HERE)..w/that being said, I LOOK FORWARD TO EMPOWERMOMENTS BECAUSE IT TRULY HELPS ME @ THAT VERY MOMENT. THANK YOU Khalilah, & I pray that God continues to USE AND BLESS YOU…

    1. Crystal,

      I wrote this post about a week before it was released and I tell you, it was released on the very day I needed it too. God is so good that his word is a living word, it is always there to help us. God bless you and those two jewels you have.

      Thank you for posting! Not only does it let me know your thoughts, but it helps me to know I am also not alone in this fight.

  7. This was amazing. The tongue has so much power and a lot of times we complain about our situations instead of blessing them. Thank you for this empower moment.

    1. Chaunte’,

      What you stated is so true. It is so easy for us to complain. But if we change our minds and attitudes it could be so much better for us.

      Thank you for posting!

    1. Me too. I praise God because although he used my hands to write it, the message was soooo for me. He’s just God like that.

      Stay blessed, and thank you for reading.

  8. Kay this is so on target for me. Some people only know me for my sharp tongue but more than that I identified with this post because I often do that “innocent questioning” with my own agenda behind it. Thanks for speaking life to me and reminding me that “words do hurt.”

  9. Kay, I’m late reading this but this was such a wonderful message! Just what I needed to hear! As a married woman, I have also had the challenge of speaking to my husband in a way that will enhance our relationship and not cause turmoil. Thanks for the message!

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