“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33 KJV
I was talking to one of my mentees a few moments ago and she asked me about a situation with her and her boyfriend. She was upset and distraught because now that he was angry over something simple, she felt as though she couldn’t move into his apartment with him, which happens to be a few states away. I tried my best not to be so blunt, but I think that’s why she asked me for advice in the first place.
This was my actual instant message:
“To be honest, it doesn’t seem as though you are setting up things in your favor anyway. You have to set the stage for God to bless you; He won’t do that if you are staying with a man you aren’t married to. (Sorry, you know I’m straightforward.) God blesses obedience. This seems like such a simple issue for him to get mad over (a shirt), but sometimes God has to wake us up in order for us to see the big picture. You are worth too much to degrade yourself like that. #straightnochaser.”
Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are asking God to bless our mess. As I grow, I look back on my life and some of my old prayer journals and I either try to hide from God in embarrassment or laugh at the thought of me actually thinking God was going to bless my mess.
I remember dating a guy in college that I thought was a god. I am not kidding! I fell into the depths of compromise and even found myself compromising my beliefs, my spirituality, and even my comfort zone. It was just nothing good about it. I stumbled upon an old prayer journal, which had to be burned immediately, that spoke about asking God to bless our “union” and for us to have a prosperous life together. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t even set the stage right. We weren’t seeking God to guide our friendship. As a matter of fact, I think we ignored God. We didn’t act in love (to be patient and kind), and instead acted in lust. His good looks drove me and not his heart. “Do not lust in your heart after her (his) beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” (Proverbs 6:25NIV) I flat out disobeyed this nugget of guidance. I liked the way he talked and not the content of his conversation. I did not approach him with my standards, my love for God, and my seriousness about living a life pleasing to God. I did not use this scripture to strengthen me: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13 NIV) I didn’t set the stage right for God to bless that relationship. God’s word says, “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” (Psalm 37:4 KJV)
I was not acting in obedience. “If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.” (Job 36:11 NIV) How was He going to bless my mess?
As with all of my mentees, I uncovered myself and shared my mirrored past with her. I wasn’t trying to play the “you shacking so you are going to hell” card because that was not the point. The point was, you can’t expect God to pour out prosperity if you aren’t in position to serve and receive.
Words cannot express the number of times Your mercy has spared me. Where I am today is only a testament to how You’ve carried me, forgiven me and loved me. My future rests in Your hands and as I strive to continue to be a woman after Your heart, please keep my mind and heart sensitive to Your direction. I know that it’s only with You that I can make it to be what You’ve called me to be. Thank You for Your big eraser that has erased my past and given me a clean slate. (Isaiah 1:18 NIV) In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
Ladies, I EMPOWER you today to set the stage right! Check your situation. Make sure that the life you are asking God to lead has His stamp of approval and if you aren’t sure, then line it up with His word and see if it matches. If you still aren’t sure, then wait. The Lord will not steer you wrong. Sometimes waiting is the best option. “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
To my mentee,
Thank you for trusting me to give you advice in this matter, you could have picked anyone. Throughout our talk, I was confident that you knew the answer anyway and I am blessed to know that you felt empowered to continue to be “God’s Girl” after our chat. Thank you for letting me share our story. God’s got ya back. I know for a fact that you will be alright! God’s blessings to you on your first year in college!
Mrs. Lady K
As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter. They attend St. Luke Christian Church. Check out Khalilah’s Christian weight loss blog here.