I took one last glance at the clock before the doctor instructed me to start the countdown. I did as I was told and began 10…9…8…7…6…5… The next thing I remembered was waking up in the recovery room. The procedure was over and my anesthesia had worn off yet only twenty minutes had elapsed. It wasn’t until the nurse came to check on me that I remembered exactly what I had done… I had just aborted my unborn child!
I found out that I was pregnant a month prior and that very day I made up my mind that I was NOT having a baby out of wedlock. I was of age where I could have taken on the responsibility without a doubt but I was too selfish to do so. I was in a relationship with the father but I refused to go through this struggle with a man I had only been dating a few months. Basically, I came up with every reason as to why this was the best solution to my problem but truthfully the real battle was yet to come.
“Jesus replied ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom.’”(Luke 9:62 NIV) I was certain that I had handled my business but I was having the hardest time forgiving myself and forgetting it ever happened. The enemy used the un-forgiveness in my heart to infect every aspect of my life. I was still in a dead end relationship because I felt as if I owed him something because I never told him about the abortion. I was finishing my last semester in school but I was clueless as to what was my next move would be in this game called life. To top it off, I let God down and went against His Word in more ways than one. However, as the above scripture stated, being consumed with looking in the past promotes missed opportunities to do kingdom work. It is imperative to remember that we must not misconstrue the underlying message of the Word–our past does not dictate our future but we must NOT intentionally disobey God because of His promises.
“No, brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.” (Philippians 3:13-14 NLT)
Ladies, I allowed the devil to control my life for years because I was afraid to forgive myself when God had already forgiven me. I prolonged my walk into my destiny because I was determined to dwell on a bad decision. Once I was able to shake the stronghold the devil had on me I was able to rejoice in the fact that I am not what I have done or the situations I’ve been through but rather I represent where I am headed- PROSPERITY!!
Thank You for forgiving me even when I found it hard to forgive myself. You have always been there for me and words can not express the joy that alone gives me. Please help me keep my head forward, not looking back, so that I may be certain that I am doing the work needed to advance Your Kingdom. No longer will I be a prisoner to my past but rather I am victorious because of YOU! Thank You Daddy!! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
I encourage you to EMPOWER one another to leave the past behind and walk BOLDLY into your future! Ladies, put your chin up, stick your chest out, and keep your back straight for the time is now to accept the calling on your life. No more pity parties with the enemy because its time to celebrate Jesus!!! Be Blessed!!! 🙂
P.S. Since today is my last day as an EmpowerMoment writer, I just want to thank all of the readers for allowing me to share my testimony with you. This experience has probably helped me just as much as I endeavored to help each of you. Being transparent has allowed me to walk into my destiny and completely line up with God’s will. Thank you for being apart of this journey. MUAH!
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Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management. She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn.” Isaiah 54:17