Addictions, Encouragement, Faith, Fasting, Inspirational, Mother/Daughter, Patience, Prayer, Trusting God

There’s A Monster In My House!

The following are excerpts from my memory journal. Although they weren’t actually written in a cute floral notebook, they are indeed truthful. Each one of these memories is an indelible mark on the walls of my mind…

July 2, 1988

For as long as I can remember, there has been a monster in my house. I am not really sure what type of monster it is, but I know when it shows up. Sometimes I can even see the monster on my Mommy and Daddy’s face. Something about them just doesn’t look the same. Then they start acting differently and I wonder if the monster is making them act that way. I didn’t think I was afraid of monsters until this one started showing up. I really hate it too so I hide in my room because I don’t want to see it. But when the monster leaves, they are back to normal and once again we are a loving family.

July 2, 1995

I’m too old to believe in monsters but now my little sister can see it. I try to reassure her that monsters aren’t real but she is still scared. It’s so evident that something evil is still showing up around here every day. My Mommy still acts strange when it shows up. I’m not sure if this evil thing is affecting my dad because he isn’t here anymore. Through my intellect and nosiness, I am going to get to the bottom of this. After all, I really need to know so that I can promise my baby sister that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

July 2, 2002

Over the past several years, I finally got it. Yes, it is a monster. Yes, it is evil. It’s a demon from the pit of hell. I am still a bit confused though because it doesn’t act like the monsters that I see on TV that are like it. I have since moved to another state so that I won’t have to deal with it. Now I feel kind of guilty because I left my baby sister to fight the demon alone. I pray that she’s ok. I wonder if she even understands what she is up against. God, please protect my sister and please kill the demon that resides in the house with her. Amen.

July 2, 2009

My sister is now older and she too understands what we are up against. It’s gotten really rough these last few years, but today God answered our prayers! I haven’t been this excited in a long time! I have been consciously, and subconsciously, battling this thing—this monster, this evil thing, this demon—for nearly all of my life. As an adult, I have been worn out on the battlefield and needing backup many days. But today, the one person that needed to jump in the battle stepped up to the frontline. My Mommy said, “I’m tired of being on these drugs.” It was at that moment that the monster started searching for a new place to stay…

October 24, 2011

That life-changing moment was nearly three and a half years ago and when I talk about it, my emotional response is still the same. That day, I immediately got on the phone and sought help. When I found The Women’s Treatment Center, they wanted to do a phone screening with her. She picked up the phone in the kitchen as I listened attentively in the bedroom. The exchange went something like this:

Q: “How long have you been using?”

A: “About 25 years.”

*The monster was pissed off as he grabbed his suitcase.*

Q: “What do you use?”

A: “Crack- Cocaine.”

*The monster shoved his chains of bondage in the suitcase.*

Q: “How often do you use?”

A: “Everyday.”

*The monster packed up his anger and depression.*

Q: “How much money do you spend to get high?”

A: “Whatever I have.”

*The monster grabbed all the rest of his junk (selfishness, pride, bitterness, greed, stubbornness, etc.) and stuffed it in his luggage.*

Q: “Are you ready to stop using?”

A: “Yes.”

*The monster slammed his suitcase shut and stomped out of the house…NEVER to move in again!*

Today I write in my virtual journal not to alienate my mother or air all of her dirty laundry. Rather, I write that you too may overcome. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…” (Revelation 12:11 NIV) If you’re the daughter or sister or mother of the one who’s living with the monster, I say to you, STAND! “…And when you have done everything you could, you will be able to stand firm.” (Ephesians 6:13 ISV) I prayed for my mother for over 15 years without seeing ANY progress. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Be relentless in your pursuit! I am reminded of Jacob who wrestled with God throughout the night. I imagine from God’s response that He was tired of Jacob the next morning: “Let me go; its daybreak.” (Genesis 32:26a MSG)  Jacob’s response: “I’m not letting you go ‘til you bless me.” (v. 26b) Seconds after that exchange, God blessed Jacob “right then and there” as it reads in the Message translation. And just like Jacob, I clung to God and got on His last nerves until He blessed that situation!

In addition to standing and praying, I FASTED. In Matthew, the disciples were trying to cast demons out a little boy when Jesus reminded them that some only go by praying AND fasting. (Matthew 17:14-21) The spirit of bondage has a strong hold and depending on how long it’s had a grip on your loved one’s life, you may need to do more than just pray. I denied myself so many things that I loved (food, music, TV, people, outings, etc.) because I loved my mother MORE. What are you willing to sacrifice for the one that you love?

Lastly, I ask that you love them right where they are. As a teenager, one of the best pieces of advice that I received was to ask God to show me how to love my mother the way that He loved her. With that, my daily prayer became, “I love my mother where she is, but I praise You, oh God, for where she is going!”  Remember, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 NLT)

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for my ______. God, I ask that You keep them safe during this period of their life. Lord, please give me the words to say that would aid in their recovery. Teach me how to war in the Spirit on their behalf. Please help me not to give up on them because I know that You won’t give up on them either.  God, I will not let You go until fix this! I know that You are able! I thank You right now for my _______ but I praise You for where they are going! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I am sure that you know someone who is residing with the “monster.” Today I EMPOWER you to STAND up for and with them! I EMPOWER you to PRAY for them without ceasing! I EMPOWER you to go on a sacrificial FAST for them! And finally, I EMPOWER you to LOVE the hell out of them!

Today’s EmpowerMoment is dedicated to my lovely mother! You are a champion and hero in my eyes! Congratulations on 844 days of being free and clean! I love you!

Mrs. Kristen Harris is a wife, mother, entrepreneur and dedicated servant.  She is extremely passionate about women’s spiritual advancement, hence the founding of EmpowerMoments.  As an avid reader, Kristen enjoys reading the Bible and other non-fiction pieces. Her driving inspiration is when God says to her: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11) She currently resides outside of Chicago, Illinois with her wonderful husband and two lovely daughters where she is an active member of New Life Covenant Church.

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33 thoughts on “There’s A Monster In My House!”

  1. HALLELUJAH!!!! Thank U Lord!!! GLORY!!! I am overwhelmed with joy because this story is amazing!!! Not because its about my Mommy but because it is a great victory for the Kingdom of God!!! The enemy can make you believe there is nothing that can be done but GOD is bigger and badder than any “monster!” God answered our prayers because we were faithful sissy! Now we have the BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, CARING, POWERFUL woman of God heading our family that was there all along but that monster was SOOO ugly we could never see past it!!! I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!! Congratulations and keep at it Ms. Roz this is only the beginning of GOD showing up and showing OUT in your life! Thanks for writing this sis… I know it took a lot but when it hurts you’ve done something right! Be Blessed and GLORY TO GOD!!!

  2. This is so relevant in my family today as we struggle with loving my uncle where is in his years of addiction and journey of recovery, relapse,..recovery.. relapse, etc. We, as family members from the outside looking in can be both helpful and harmful to those who are addicts. Often times, in trying to practice “tough love” we become frustrated and throw our hands up.. not giving up on the person but on the fact that things will change. I thank you for sharing this EmpowerMoment with us and reminding ME to have the spirit of Jacob and to use MY strength to wrestle with God on my Uncle’s behalf!!

  3. Awesome!!!!Praise God!!!! What a powerful testimony. Kristen, I know it must have been brutal for you to write this about your mom. I applaud your courage and your victory. Congratulations to your mom.

    1. Yes it was! But I know that the blessing for the ones that read this is far beyond any pain that I could experience in writing it. Actually the hard part was over for me 3 years ago. And what Ive figured out is that the enemy wants us to keep our victory moments to ourselves but there are soooo many people out here who need to know that God is indeed able. Not just becuase I HEARD so but becuase I KNOW so! Whew! Praise God!

  4. This is beautiful!!! We must love as Christ loved us. I am going through a situation..not with my mom but another individual, and I sometimes believe that they will never change..but all things are possible through Christ…if it hurts to write..it must be right huh hunny? This def was right, and right on time !!! thanks for sharing!

    1. Yes girly! Thats the EM mantra! My advice to you is not to give up on them. Now that Im older, I have learned how to remember to be gracious at all time. I think back to my lowest point. God didnt leave me there and probably should have. And at some point I changed. Im sure I didnt change my ways as quick as I should have either. Thats encouraging enough for me to love on all of them until theyre ready for God to set them free.

  5. Tears of Joy, I sit here shedding. Oh that monster was horrible, but victorious is my Roz. Everyone always says “I know my Mama is praying for me” Krissy and Tasha, you young ladies kept your Mommy in your bosom and prayers. All praises to the Father because he is a healer. I am still rejoicing because I have my favorite cousin back. Love all of you.

  6. All glory and praises go to God! I admire your courage to share this story with others. I am overwhelmed with joy for you and your family. May God continue to bless all of you! Thanks!

  7. Krissy this is overwhelimingly good. I have been battling with trying to love someone through their faults and NEVER thougt to ask God to show me how to love them the way he does. This have really been a break through!!

    Tell mom she’s the BOMB.COM!!!!!.org, .net, .gov, .edu, all of that!! I prayer for her continued strength.

    When we make a decision to stand, the devil packs up and leaves!

  8. Thank u Jesus!!! “The prayers of the righteous availed much!” I had to comment because although our demons weren’t the same the battle we fought to save our mother’s lives is a living testimony that the God we serve is REAL!! To this day the dr, nurses, and specialists didn’t know how my mom raised off that bed of infliction that tried to claim her life 2 years ago but WE do!! Aren’t u glad God’s word never changes!!!!! God Bless You and the Family! This Empowermoment made my day!

    1. Trina! Im so glad that your mom had to by her side to push (pray until something happened)! What an awesome God we serve. I truly believe that sometimes He just really wants to know how bad do you REALLY want this? (See the Letter from Editor EmpowerMomenthttps://empowermoments.org/2011/09/12/a-letter-from-the-editor/)

      Be relentess ladies!

      Thanks for your comment!

  9. Hello my name is Rosalind and I’m a recovering addict. All praises and honor goes to God for doing for me what I just couldn’t do for myself. Today I’m so grateful for so many reasons. I thank God that I didn’t die in my addiction and He allowed me the chance to turn my life around. Thank you Krissy for telling my story because today I’m a living testimony what God can do-I AM A MIRACLE. When you told me that the empowermoment was to be about me, I didn’t know what to feel (shame, guilt, embarassment, anger or what.) Having read my story through YOUR eyes I see a different side of this diease of addiction. I never intentionally set out to cause any harm to my daughters, I was only having “fun” in the beginning. In the end that “fun” turned my whole world upside down. If this empowermoments touches and bring about a change in someone’s life, then it was well worth it. God Bless You!!!!

    1. “If this empowermoments touches and bring about a change in someone’s life, then it was well worth it” *SCREAMING* YES! Now thats what trials are all about! Thanks for allowing me to share your story. I think the monster is somewhere really angry today becuase we made a mockery out of him and exposed his true colors! I am confident that as a result, many will be set free becuase we now know how to love the monster out of the house!

      Mommy, I love you so much and Im truly excited about your future! MUAH!

      *DANCING*

    2. Ms. Sampson I love you to pieces. You have always made me feel like a welcome part of the family. I am thankful for your recovery and I tell Krissy all the time how proud I am of you and what he is doing for your business.

      Krissy I am glad that you shared this story because you are right there will be someone touched by this story. We all have “monsters” that we have to deal with in our lives. You have taught us to be relentless in our pursuit to destroy them.

  10. Hi my name is Sharon E. and I am A grateful Recovery Addict. I sponsor Roz and it has Been a Honor 2 work with Roz. I know GOD put her in my life for both of us. Yes GOD is able and yes the DRUGS does affect the WHOLE FAMILY and WE (Roz and Sharon) are here to LET the readers KNOW that through THIS EMPOWER and Chrissy and the other writers that WE CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING WITH GOD’S HELP. PSALM 50:15 AND call upon me in the day of trouble i will DELIVER thee and thou shalt GLORIFY ME and 2 chronicles 20:15 Thus saith the LORD unto You, BE NOT AFRAID NOR DISMAYED BY REASON OF THIS GREAT MULTITUDE FOR THE BATTLE IS NOT YOUR BUT GOD

  11. Krissy,
    Thank you for this empowermoment. I am battling with a mother that has been using drugs for about 28years now. I always pray for her & ask that God protects her wherever she is.I have battled with being hurt that I don’t have that mother in my corner to call, spend time with, and celebrate accomplishments. But God has revealed to me constantly that I have him. I’m like a kid though w/that I tell God but I want my momma too. I am so happy for your mother and ANYONE else that has surrendered and recovered. God bless you all……..

    1. Amber,

      The SAME God that did it for us can do it for your family. He is no respector of persons which means that you can have victory as well. He just used us to show you and others that he STILL sits on the throne and He’s STILL working miracles. I am praying for your mom but I’m especially praying for you. May God grant you the desires of your heart!

  12. Once again,EmpowerMoments has done it again! You guys have been a refuge for the past couple a days(I was led by the Holy Spirit Saturday night) and this is also another “in season” and “right now” word. My mother has dealt with drug abuse and it has affected my family tremendously. My siblings and I were raised out of sequenced lives because of this. I am currently receiving therapy every other week to help me sort through the emotions that “the monster” caused me. I want to learn to Love my mother in spite of,but it’s been hard. I’ve got two daughters and I told myself that I didn’t want them to ever have a broken relationship with me because I was an emotional wreck. So after praying about my relationship with my mom, I was led to a great christian counselor. Since my sessions I feel free cause I have someone to talk to who understands me and where my mom is right now so that I may see God’s bigger picture of reconciliation. I walked around for 12 years with guilt and shame. Then one day the sweet Holy Spirit whispered to my heart,”Lisa you’ve kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go and let God heal.Keep your lessons,but let the pain heal” and now after 3years I can see my mom and not get angry for what she did. God is so good to me and I just give him glory because there is none like him.A renowned speaker once said,”You are not fighting for victory,but you are fighting from victory”. I now am mature enough to know what that means and the cost that it will take to get the results from that truth. If my mother was here in my presence I would tell her that I LOVE HER!

    1. Lisa,

      Welcome! We are so happy to have you apart of the EmpowerMoments family!

      Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am so happy that you have found a way to release her and love her at the same time. Keep the faith and continue to believe that God is able! I love that, “You are fighing FROM victory” phrase!

      Continue to press on sistah! In the words of my pastor, “Its GOT to get better than this!”

  13. This was such a powerful testimony Kristen. Thank you for sharing. I am encouraged to do more to help my loved ones deal with their monsters. May God continue to keep you and bless you!

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