Encouragement, Finances, God's Promises, God's Provisons, Inspirational, Marriage, Singleness, Trusting God, Worry

All About the Benjamins

By my 30th birthday I wanted to be married or at least in a much fulfilled relationship, making at least 60k+ a year, driving my dream car, and pursuing my marketing dreams.  Yet, I’m not in a “titled” relationship, I’m making half of my dream salary, my car needs a much needed paint job, and I’m not working in marketing nor pursuing those dreams.  It really feels like I missed my mark when it comes to my heart’s desires.  I feel like I’m at a point in my life where my struggles should be non existent.  I should be the lender and not the borrower.  It would feel good for once to not have the order the cheapest item on the menu or always order water because I’m trying to save a dime.  It’s so bad I even do it on dates, trying to save them money!  I feel like nothing is right at 30 because my Benjamins are funny.

Two years ago I lost a very good paying job due to the economy and I started drowning.  Since then, I seem to not have reached dry land.  I used to have the best credit score but now I’m falling behind on bills and can’t seem to catch up. Yet I’m still positive; yet I’m still attending church; yet I still tithe (when I can) and I treat everyone right. But it’s still so very hard.  I look around at my circle of friends and see them doing big things and going places.  I can’t help but wonder when that will be me.  Did I cause this on myself?  Maybe it’s because I talked to that man or because I don’t pray every night on my knees or because I still drink socially.  Im left wondering what am I doing wrong that’s affecting my Benjamins.

I’ve started looking for a part time job, but how can I do that?  I have a full time job and I’m a full time mother and with no physical help from my son’s father, that idea is null and void.  I started to doubt myself and my situation from getting any better until one day I read Matthew 8: 23-27: And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him.  And behold, there’s arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep.  And they went and woke him saying. “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “why are you afraid o you of little faith?”  Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” (ESV)

I knew then that God knew I would be in this situation before the situation found me. Daniel 2:21 says,” He changes times and seasons.” (ESV)

I began to feel like David in Psalms 27:13, “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (ESV)

God has promised me so much and I’m standing on His promises.  On Oct. 13, 2011, the day I turned 30 years old, I didn’t have a marriage or a fulfilled relationship, but my son was alive and well. I wasn’t making 60k+ a year, but I had food on my table and a roof over my head. I wasn’t driving my dream car, but I didn’t have to walk wherever I wanted to go. I wasn’t pursuing my dreams of marketing, but I did have a job.  My Benjamins had nothing on that!

Jaden & I enjoying life!

Dear Daddy,

I love You and I thank You for mapping out my life.  You know what’s best for me and You know the destiny that’s mine.  Help me not to give up when my heart and mind gets weary.  Thank You for the hard times and when the good times come back around, only You will receive all my praises.  Strengthen my faith, for I know my best days are ahead of me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to not focus on the Benjamins for God is our resource that is never ending.  When it gets tough, always remember God is a rewarder to those that earnestly seek Him.  Much Love Ladies!

Ms. Hassanah White is a dedicated member of Faith Walkers Church in Birmingham, Alabama where their motto is to “Walk it out by Faith.”  She also serves as a member of the Praise Dance Ministry.  Hassanah is a true professional in the realm of marketing and customer service.  She’s a proud mother of a very energetic little boy named Jaden.  Hassanah believes laughter and prayer are the best medicines for any situation.  Her favorite scripture is Hebrews 11:6: “And without Faith it is impossible to please GOD, because anyone who comes to Him must BELIEVE that He exists and that He REWARDS those who earnestly seek Him.”

26 thoughts on “All About the Benjamins”

  1. Hassanah did you peak into my life journal and write this story. My situation is extremely similar to yours and people question my decision to leave my job daily. The only thing that keeps me going is that I believe in what I am doing and I believe that God ordered these steps….even these hard times. He has brought me from behind before and I know it will happen again. As funny as my Benjamins are the scale can attest that I have not missed a meal. The fact that I did not get soaking wet last night in the rain is proof that I have a roof over my head. Sure these are not the best of times and I miss my jet-setting lifestyle but I know that this is truly a season I am going through. Not only do I have faith but I am working towards making these things better because I believe that “faith without works is dead.” As hard as it is keep believing, keep tithing, keep praying because this too shall pass.

    1. Hey Chancee! You’re absolutely right, this too shall pass… Thank you for the encouragement. It was hard for me to write this, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I know this is just season. I once heard a pastor say that we can’t rush a season. Just like when its winter we can’t rush for it to be spring. When its time for spring it will come. When its my season of abundance and prosperity it will be right on time. Gods time! I’m excited to be writing and to be apart of the EM team!!

  2. UGH, I think this plagues so many of us. I can relate to this on so many levels. I remember going through my slight depression at 30 as well. But God is a redeemer and a provider!!

    Thank you for sharing this.

  3. This is such a confirmation of my next post which I wrote last night. I can also relate to your feelings but I similarly have refocused my attention by reminding myself that although things may not be as I like, God has never abandoned me. I’m not lacking any need. Great post!

    1. Hey Tasha! Thanks for your comment. God has been sooooo good to me, and I am a believer that he is working behind the scenes of my life.

  4. Chancee I said the exact same thing lol As long as we know it will get better if we try our best to live righteously through Christ & we share his word with others, we cant go wrong. Thank you Hassanah for this empowermoment. I pray that we never lose our faith.

    1. Hey Tenika!! Thanks for the comment. I pray also that GOD continues to strengthen our faith! As long as we do the natural, he will do the supernatural! I can’t wait for the doors GOD is going to open for me, for all of us!!

  5. I feel like Chancee, you done came all up and through my street ! I’m 25 and I have definitely had the “by the time I’m 30” conversation with myself and my friends an associates several times thank you for reminding me that God is in control! ! I have been CHECKED! Thank you for your transparency and sharing this with us.

    1. Hey Katrina! I like that…I have been “checked!!” It’s funny how we think we know it all, and we have it all figured out. God just laughs at our plans, because he wrote the book of our lives. He never said the journey would be easy, but with GOD on our side we can never go wrong! Thanks for the comment!

  6. Hassanah thank you for this post. I can relate in so many ways. But we have to be grateful because there are people in need of shelter, clothes, food, etc. This post has empowered me to be patient, have faith, and continue to strive towards achieving all of my goals financially and so forth. Thanks 🙂

  7. Shan, I’m so proud of you going forward and deciding to write and share your stories with others! You have gotten off too awesome start! You have reminded me to focus on the good because things could always be much worse! I love you and I tell you all the time the BEST is yet to come!!

    1. Kris, I remember when you introduced me to EmpowerMoments. I remember feeling like these women stories are remarkable. Had me feeling like, “hmmmm I’m not the only one that’s going through this or that.” EmpowerMoments has really opened my eyes! I’m thankful for you encouraging me to join the team. I did it girl!! And I’m proud of myself. The BEST is yet to come!!!! I know it is!!! I love you Kris!

  8. Great post about how we think we are in control on the low. Yes it’s okay to have desires and goals,, but we must trust God and the path he has us on not the path society/the world says we should be on. Thanks

    1. Hey Tawana! Yes we think we’re big and bad, but we’re just little and clueless! LOL! God knows it all and we must trust him. Thanks for your comment.

  9. I already told you how much I LOVE this EmpowerMoment! It has such an innocence to it that we all can relate to. Its like we are sitting at our Daddys feet and asking Him when is it going to be our turn? But I, like all of these other women, are encouraged by your testimony. And I will be here waiting to hear all about when He flips it! Thanks for sharing girly and WELCOME to the EM team! (Remember when it hurts to write…) 😉

      1. When it comes to them Benjamins…. the Franklins, Jacksons, and Washingtons have nothing on the FATHER, SON, and HOLY SPIRIT! #nowtakethat! :0)

    1. Hey Krissy! First off, thank you for allowing me to be apart of the team! I already see that EmpowerMoments is going to change my life in so many wonderous ways, and I’m so happy about it. This EM was hardddddd to write. I’m a private person, and I don’t know yall! LOL But I knew that in order for it to help others I had to be obedient and write from the heart. Please believe, when I walk into my knew season you ladies will be the first to hear my testimony!

  10. Hassanah, my lil sister, this message was awesome in so many ways! Just know that God operates in strategies, where man operates in plans. We makes plans for our lives and what we want to accomplish by a certain time. That’s why our plans are not his plans…. I thank you for sharing and being transparent because your message was truly a blessing. I love you and Jaden always!

    Your Sister, Kertina 🙂

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