Attitude, Growth/Maturity, Self-Control

Self Improvement

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 ESV

I want to better myself. I want to be a better me. I want to strengthen some of my weaknesses and eliminate some of my immature flaws. Does this sound like your conscience? Or do you catch yourself saying, “I wish I was patient like her, or a mother like she is, or smart like so and so, or dared to dream and actually act upon them like she does.” 

A few years ago I went through some character searching situations. I had an attitude I wanted change, a zeal I wanted to regain, and a confidence I wanted to discover. I wanted to change.

As Christians, there is only one way to change, the book of Romans states it best.  “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV) There is a secular song that I actually do not know its full contents, but I sing often the chorus often. I won’t reference it because I don’t even know the artist or the context of the entire song, but the chorus says, “If you want to be somebody else, change your mind.” Now this can be taken two ways. To either stop trying to be like someone else, or if you want to change who you are you have to change your thinking. I use it with the latter interpretation. When I wanted to be someone else (kinder, nicer, more mature, less petty, better in speech, more of a lover, more approachable) I had to change my way of thinking; I had to change my mind.

If we were honest with ourselves we would know that we could probably work on some of our flaws that do not imitate God. I had a knack for popping off at the mouth with an attitude abruptly if I ever felt offended, but I wanted to change that. If I wanted to imitate Him I had to realize, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” (Proverbs 13:3 NKJV) I was not slow to anger and realized this tagged me as being unapproachable. How could I exude patience and kindness? I had to again turn to the Word of God.   “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:19-24 NIV)

If I wanted to better my life and strengthen my character I had to change my thinking, change my attitude, and most of all change my mind. There are blessings in obedience, and I wanted that.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 ESV) I have endless goals of who I want to be in Christ. This is a daily struggle that only God can determine I reach, but I can definitely focus on the things I can handle right now. I can make plans to follow Him, but only He knows how to strengthen and establish my character, and I walk in faith believing He will help me along the way.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for bringing me to the reality of self-construction. Thank You for making me realize when I need to change some things about me and the plan that is placed in Your Word to do so. Lord, I ask that You continue to make me uncomfortable with not being like You, but hungry to be more like You. I ask that You guide my heart and mind so that I may not conform to what’s popular, but to what’s Holy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you today to be the Woman you desire to be in Christ. I have a faith sheet that I created a few years ago that listed things I wanted to strengthen. I don’t look at it every day or even every month, but it helps me to focus on working on being the Woman God wants me to be. It includes characteristics that His Word says pleases Him.

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As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter. They attend St. Luke Christian ChurchCheck out Khalilah’s Christian weight loss blog here.

6 thoughts on “Self Improvement”

  1. This message was for me! Thank you so much for sharing this morning! Romans 12:2 has been one of my meditations and I will add the scripture you have here from James to it!

    1. Sometimes when I feel “iffy” when I write I ask God to confirm that if it just reaches 1 person, then I’ve done what I was supposed to do. I’m blessed that you feel it was just for you. That scripture in James is one I have to constantly remember to hide in my heart.


  2. Kay, was JUST having this kind of conversation with God earlier. I WANT to BE and DO better! Had someone who I considered to be my sister hurt my heart strings in a really bad way and my attitude and hurt feelings this week have not been in alignment of what God wants from me. Convicted!! It’s just hitting me now of how “off track” I’ve been this entire week and feeling like I need to ask my Heavenly Papa for forgiveness. Not waiting for January 1st to start changing things within me, startting right now. Thank you Kay!!! God bless you sweetie!

    1. Dee, the part I erased was, “don’t only make resolutions on Jan 1” I make mine ALL year!! I’m glad the Holy Spirit convicted you, it means you’re listening, but gosh does it hurt! Hang in there, there’s no pain our God can’t heal.

  3. Khalilah,this is a WOWZER(I have borrowed this from you)!This entry is the mission for myself and every believer,to be transformed into the “image” or “likeness” of our Christ Jesus. My Pastor once taught us that to change,One must not try to change ones’ behavior,but ones mind. Yes,we have to change our “stinking thinking” in order for us to change something that is not like or of our Father.Whether we want to confess it or not a good majority of believer’s have adapted and held onto the “old” way of thinking and is wondering why they’re not experiencing NO results in their lives(prayer,love walk,etc.) and it it because they did not transform and renew their minds. God has His own plan and design for how woman and men are to act and it is our responsibility to examine our lives and attempt to live in His design and plan.You are only whole when you are functioning according to the way the Father wants you too and that is by renewing your mind. I am so convinced that if every reader of this entry(including ME) would follow your instruction of examining our inner attitudes and lives in the light of what the word of God has to say,then we would begin a powerful movement in our own lives,others lives, or marriages,and even in the church! Khalilah,just as you ,I’m praying that I would be a woman to live after the word and not after the world ,and have my life reflected by it. You are becoming one of my favorite writers. I know I’ve said this before,but remain in this place where God has you Sis. and EM YOU ALREADY KNOW CONTINUE BECAUSE THIS WORLD NEEDS US:)

    1. WOWZERS!!! Yes, I say that when I’m just blown away, lol. You are so right Lisa, we have to examine ourselves and eat (study) at home so when we minister we don’t judge, but empathize. I can appreciate your comment because it further charges all of us to seek how God wants us to be.

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