Father/Daughter, Forgiveness, Growth/Maturity, Love

Our Journey Symbolized Through Shoes

This past Christmas, my daddy sent me a pair of new boots. It wasn’t the shoes as much as it was the symbolism in his gift. They told the story of how far we had come.

And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us. (1 John 5:14 KJV)

As a little girl, I use to imagine what it would be like to have a father in my life. I used to pray and ask God to send him to me. In my mind, he would take me shopping and I would eat ice cream walking hand in hand with him. He would meet my boyfriend and admonish him before we went out on a date. I could talk to him about the unsettling confusing way of men and he would school me. All of these things were a part of the imagination of a little girl who wanted a “complete” family.  I would be “daddy’s girl.” Unfortunately, that is not the father that was in my life. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know him. At 17, I set out on a journey to find him and as God would have it, I met him for a brief moment when I was 18. To me it was awkward. We exchanged numbers but it would be years before I heard from him again.

Fast forward from 1998 to 2010, I decided that I would look for my dad one last time. I prayed about it and I told God that if I didn’t find him this time or he was unresponsive I would let it go. Besides, why did I have to do all of the work? I was his child so I griped, “He should be looking for me!” Through Facebook I found a cousin who got the ball rolling, although she gave me a word of caution about this journey…that maybe I should let it go. It sounded much like a letter I read in high school about my father where someone said that maybe I should “let sleeping dogs lie.” Was this person so bad that everyone felt the need to ring the alarm? It really didn’t matter what they said because I was prepared to give him a verbal lashing. Where have you been all of my life? Why this? Why that?

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24 KJV)

One call changed it all. I was sitting at work and my phone rang. My dad was on the other end. I was so caught off guard that I didn’t know what to say. The verbal lashing that I prepared went right out of the window and I chose to embrace him with a loving attitude and kind words. He apologized and didn’t make excuses. He went on to tell me of his drug addiction that spanned nearly thirty years. I instantly realized that God knew best. With the multitude of family challenges I had growing up, this was one that I didn’t need to endure. He told me that he was now clean and getting his life on the right track. A few months later I went to visit him and realized that I looked just like him. Since that time, we talk every week. I had to realize that our relationship is just that…ours. It’s not based on some romanticized view of a father but on what we have created. He can’t make up for the past thirty years, but we could start today and move forward. I enjoy our weekly conversations and I thank God for answered prayers.  I forgave him. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 KJV) 

When I received the package from him in the mail this Christmas, I was especially excited. In my thirty-one years of living, it was the FIRST thing that my dad ever bought me. I was excited and so was he. He bragged on his selection of shoes and talked on end about how he thought I would like them. Everyone knows that shoes are the way to a woman’s heart. These boots fit perfectly and they were that perfect shade of brown. My calf muscles are huge so I can’t wear knee boots; he picked ones that came just above the ankle. His thoughtfulness came through.

Our relationship is anything but ordinary; however, I am thankful that God answered the prayer of a little girl and worked in His perfect timing to bring this relationship to fruition.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for making my concerns Your own. Continue to guide my heart and my mouth and let my words be pleasant even when my mind wants to spew venom. Give me wisdom so that I know which relationships are worthy of building and those that I need to let go. In all things, let Your perfect will be done in my life in Your perfect timing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today I EMPOWER you to have a heart of forgiveness and remain stedfast in praying for a relationship that you want God to heal. Remove the preconceived notions from your mind and allow God to design something that is unique to your situation. He is a God that answers prayers.  

Ms. Chancee` Lundy currently resides in Atlanta, GA and is a small business co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend, community servant, and child of God. She is passionate about causes that truly uplift the community. One of her favorite scriptures is Hebrews 11:6: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”