I have been waiting on the right words to apologize about missing my EmpowerMoment. I felt and feel horrible, but I prayed and asked God to show me my downfalls and my issues and why would I neglect His business. This is what He revealed to me: The week you called me, you know the week it was due, I was spiritually broken. I know that sounds weird, but it wasn’t by default that you called me but I didn’t know what was wrong, so I couldn’t tell you anything. I felt a spirtutal disconnect and it was something I haven’t felt since preaching or being saved. I felt like I couldn’t catch my groove to pray and talk to God or I couldn’t focus on the Word. Real talk, it scared me. That week my past resurfaced and I felt like I wasn’t ready for the past to come back to haunt me. I had an outer body experience, meaning I felt out of my spiritual body. I went to church that Sunday and didn’t perform any of my duties because I couldn’t bring myself to speak over God’s people messed up and distorted. I couldn’t submit an EmpowerMoment and give someone that negative energy. I felt so alone that week! Girl, I never want to be without God’s presence! I had to really go into worship and assure myself, not God, that I know I was chosen, that I know I am peculiar and that I know that being apart of Christian families such as EmpowerMoments is my birthright. I will never ever let a feeling or anything separate me from the love of God! Sorry, this is so long but know that you were made for this. I don’t know if you knew why you were checking on me, but God sent you to protect the women that you have invested your time, patience and energy in! Thank you and know that you are my sister friend. I heart u!
This is a letter I wrote a few weeks ago because something weird was going on with me. I really was questioning every part of my life- spiritual and natural. I felt as if I was falling apart and I didn’t know what to do. I realized that I was broken and feeling a disconnection from God. I’m talking about being lonely; when it feels like God is not listening, it’s a horrible feeling. My bills were paid and my health was good but I was lonely, sad and I didn’t think anyone understood what I was going through. I realized I was broken.
This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the LORD came to me. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. (Jeremiah 18: 1-6 NIV)
Just when I thought God was giving up on me, He showed me He is the potter and I am the clay. That He molds me just as the potter molds clay. God is working to create a masterpiece-ME! He is molding me to become the person He needs me to be. Even when I felt my lonliest, He had never left my side. He promised me, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Hebrew 13:5a KJV)
I see myself as a priceless piece created by God and sometimes a piece of me is chipped or cracked, but God being the potter always has the equipment to easily fix my broken pieces. As women of God, who do we think we are that we can stay broken and give up and quit? I now realize that I was broken, but repairable. I didn’t know how I was going to get out of my funk, but God already had a plan for my life. Even when you can’t see God and you think you can’t feel Him, remember He is right there putting your broken pieces back together again. Remember you are broken but repairable!
I thank You for being my Potter! Thank You for always being there to put my pieces back together again. Thank You, God, for never giving up on me. God, as you enlarge my territory, teach me to depend on You for everything and to always remember that You are always there for me. Teach me to not want to give up when things become tough, but to depend on You and to always remember I may be broken, but I am repairable! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
Women of God, I EMPOWER you to allow God to be the potter and mold you into the masterpiece that He wants you to be. Even when things get tough, remember that God is there all the time. Remember that the devil wants you to believe that you are worthless and you are disconnected from God (LIES!!) Even though you may be broken today, remember you are repairable!
Read a related EmpowerMoment: The Potter’s House
Mrs. Keviyona Ray is an ordained minister and co-pastor in training of The Christ For All People International Church. She is passionate about sharing the word of God with everyone she encounters. As a professional, Keviyona is a teacher for Chicago Public Schools. She loves her ministry of teaching and changing children’s lives. She is a devoted wife and mother of a wonderful daughter. Two of her favorite scriptures are Jeremiah 1: 5: “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations” and Proverbs 29:18: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.”