Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” “Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’” (2 Samuel 13:3-5 NIV)
In case you don’t know how the story ends, Ammon, with literally sickening lust for his sister and at the advice of his friend, raped and disgraced his sister. It went downhill from there. There were other accounts told in the Bible of how even kings accepted and followed the wrong advice and kept the wrong company. We have to be careful of the counsel we keep.
Friday, an associate gave me a ride home. As she talked about her problems, I listened mostly, but tried to direct the conversation toward God. I had previously given her scriptures to read upon her request and this was now my chance to ask if she had read them, but she gave me the eyes-to-the-side glance as to ashamedly say “girl no.” As we continued to talk, I think I was trying to relate something from my life to what she was going through and we somehow got on the subject of me moving forward from my ex-boyfriend. As she responded, doubt began to creep up in my heart as to whether avoiding total communication with my ex was the right thing to do. Her whole gist was you have to give people a second chance sometimes and maybe there was another reason why I really was avoiding him.
However, I explained to her that I believed that I had an epiphany or better yet a word from God that every time I respond to his emails, it is not just him holding on still, but me as well. I also explained that I was trusting in God for someone better and that when God removes someone or allows someone to be removed out of your life, He doesn’t make any mistakes. I am remembering how I had once prayed the first time my ex was trying to come back in my life. I admitted and prayed earnestly to God to give me strength to let him go because I was weak and couldn’t let go on my own. Ladies, He answered that prayer! So why go back now?
I have been drawing closer to God and learning to surrender all areas of my life to God. Going back to my ex could mean losing spiritual ground I’ve already gained and dealing with the same issues I had to deal with while being with him. I also believe that I would only receive him back because I am afraid there is no one else out there for me. So, I am moving on, but talking with her and the angst of getting back out into the dating world made me start to doubt. Thank God though for friends I can turn to, as well as the Word of God. I talked with two friends and their advice was frank, non judgmental and on point with what I was hearing from God. “Move on! You are in a different place in your life and he is not on that same plane or same spiritual level as you.” What also stood out to me is what one also said, “YOU CAN’T ACCEPT ADVICE FROM EVERYONE!” Some things that you hear must be taken with a grain of salt!
The godly gives good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. (Proverbs 12:26 NLT)
I believe God would also add that His advice is even better and His wisdom supreme, so get His perspective on the situation.
Thank You for friends that stick closer than a brother (or sister). Thank You that they can be honest with me even when the truth is hard to hear. Thank You for Your sound judgment and uncorrupted wisdom! Thank You that You see and know everything so You will best direct me in any situation. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to STOP before you go seeking or accepting someone’s advice. Pray first, ask God to open your heart to the truth and remove the blinders off your eyes. Then ask God who to seek advice from or what advice to accept. Better yet, get God’s perspective on the matter by going to His Word. His counsel is pure, unbiased, and sound, not based on human and natural insight and will never get us in trouble!
Read a related EmpowerMoment: Speed Dial or Backup?
Have you voted for EmpowerMoments yet? If not, please click here to vote for us in the 2012 Black Weblog Awards!
Ms. Tannika Moore loves the Lord and loves to write! Besides writing poetry or editing written work for family and friends, she currently works for NEIU Educational Talent Search program. She help assists Chicago public high school students with their reading, writing, etc. as well as helps them consider and prepare for college. She, like many of her students, is the first of her family to graduate from college. She earned a Bachelor’s of Arts in English-Professional & Technical Writing. God, the Creator and Great Father has also created her to be a Compassion Person and Encourager and so she loves to encourage people according to God’s Word and help them to see, think and become better thru her support, actions and writing. Her favorite scripture comes from Philippians 1:6, For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you shall perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.