From People Pleaser to God Pleaser!

People Pleaser: n. a person who spends a lot of energy pleasing others.

“I’m hungry could you get me something to eat?” YES… “I’m tired will go to the store for me?” YES… “It’s late but I really want to see you, will you come over?” YES… “Will you go shopping for me?” YES… “I have a bill due could you pay it for me?” YES

Hello my name is ______________ and I’m a people pleaser.  For me, this is beyond familiar. If I tell someone NO, it is like disowning him or her.  It seems that far-fetched to me.  I say YES before I stop and evaluate my own needs or schedule.  I may not feel passionate about the request, but I comply, mostly because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make someone mad.

To be truthful, I seek validations of self-worth or value from others.  But WHY?  I say I am a Christian and I have accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, but why do I/we choose people over our Father in Heaven? For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?  Or am I trying to please man?  If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10 ESV)

So much time and energy is put into meeting the needs of others that I find myself losing touch with my own life, and my relationship with God suffers.  We give man (men and women) too much credit, and we fear them instead of God.  Proverbs 29.25 states that the fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trust in the Lord is safe.  Isaiah 51:7 speaks truth when it says, “Listen to me, you who know righteousness the people in whose heart is my law; fear not the reproach of man, nor be dismayed at their reveilings.” (ESV)

I discovered myself having a people pleasing personality a very long time ago.  I pray to God for understanding on why I feel this way and through my prayers God is giving me daily knowledge and understanding that not everyone deserves my YES.  Hold on and understand that whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. (Colossians 3:23 ESV)

Dear Daddy,

I have let You down.  I have looked for man’s validation over my life, but only Yours matters.  Forgive me, God, for not pleasing You and going after Your heart.  Thank You for the understanding to know that saying YES to man is not wrong, but pleasing man and putting man above You is wrong.  I love You, Lord, for loving me as much as You do.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to choose wisely who gets a YES from you. “Will you mediate on my word more?” YES…”Will you forgive your brothers and sisters who have forsaken you?” YES…”Will you go out into the world and tell people all about me?” YES…”Do you love me?” YESSSSSS!  Hello my name is ________________ and I’m a God Pleaser!

Have you overcome “people pleasing?” Tell us what it took for you to make that transformation.

Read a related EmpowerMoment: I Am Free: The Ultimate People Pleaser


Ms. Hassanah White is a dedicated member of Faith Walkers Church in Birmingham, Alabama where their motto is to “Walk it out by Faith.” She also serves as a member of the Praise Dance Ministry. Hassanah is a true professional in the realm of marketing and customer service. She’s a proud mother of a very energetic little boy named Jaden. Hassanah believes laughter and prayer are the best medicines for any situation. Her favorite scripture is Hebrews 11:6: “And without Faith it is impossible to please GOD, because anyone who comes to Him must BELIEVE that He exists and that He REWARDS those who earnestly seek Him.”

11 thoughts on “From People Pleaser to God Pleaser!”

  1. I needed to hear this. Lately, before I do for anyone I pray about it. Anyone who knows me, know that I’m a giver and sometimes if you don’t watch others they will suck you dry. My Pastor once told me, “Don’t give to need, but give to purpose because their will always be a need” so before I do things I try to remember this. Thanks for this reminder sis:)

  2. So me but I am learning and thank God for Him revealing to me that I too was a people pleaser now I’m learning to be a God-pleaser!

  3. To tell others no in many cases is hard because most want to have a sense of satisfaction of doing for others…when you are selfless, you act before thinking…while always doing for others can become o

  4. This is great Hassanah! I know that I seriously have to work on saying no. While I am usually open to say yes to God, always saying yes to people often leaves me overcomitted and drained just as Melanie stated. Im praying, like Lisa, to see if its certainly something that God wants me to be apart of. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Steps To Happiness

    Everybody Knows:You can’t be all things to all people.You can’t do all things at once.You can’t do all things equally well.You can’t do all things better than everyone else.Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.So:You have to find out who you are, and be that.You have to decide what comes first, and do that.You have to discover your strengths, and use them.You have to learn not to compete with others,Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.Then:You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.You will have learned to live with your limitations.You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.And you’ll be a most vital mortal.Dare to Believe:That you are a wonderful, unique person.That you are a once in-all-history event.That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.And you’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down. 

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