In honor of Women’s History Month, ladies enjoy this ”bad girl” series as we share our personal connections with women in the Bible who are notorious for being bad.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 NKJV
I believe this scripture to be true. When you marry, bring “good” to your husband and marriage. You are a GOOD thing. My husband has pretty much turned our lives upside down for the better. The roles in our marriage have changed and become more defined, our interdependence has strengthened, and seeing our family progress has been number one on his list for the past few years, sometimes even to the sacrifice of the “little things.” God has positioned him to a new place. In prayer a few years ago when this transition began, God was preparing me to be along for the ride. I began to witness during this transition and as he grew that he would be on the forefront much more than he was in the past. I remember thinking to myself that his chivalry was going to be exposed and women (married and single) are attracted to chivalry, especially if they are deprived of it (been there). So I had a problem with him being in leadership positions because I knew it would place him in places where he had to lead and protect OTHER women. I distinctly remember him traveling and I resented him. He knew it, we talked about it and it was over, but God had to deal with me for even the thought and insecurity of something I knew for certain was foolish. The Holy Spirit reminded me that God placed Him in the positions he was in and that as his partner I am to build him up, walk WITH him in it, praise WITH him when he succeeded and mourn WITH him when he failed but not resent him for being a man of God, a man of Honor, a man of Integrity, and a man of chivalry. I repented; it was foolish to think those things, especially when his track record was clean (Amen!) and I’ve never discerned anything that would threaten our marriage.
This reminds me of Michal. She was the daughter of Saul (past King) and the wife of David (the new King). You will find that Michal was a good wife to David, which is why I was hesitant to select her as my “Bad Girl” but, like many of us, she had “bad” moments. One of her most documented moments was when she hid David from her father and his messengers. They wanted to kill David. Instead, she hid him and lied to her father about where he was. She was buying time so David could escape. 1Samuel 19 KJV
Much later after David became King, the Ark of God was headed to Jerusalem. The Ark of God represented blessings and the presence of God, to say the least. As the Ark of God approached Jerusalem where David was he praised so hard he danced out of his clothes. Here’s the story:
“ The people told David, “The Lord has blessed the family of Obed-Edom and all that belongs to him, because the Ark of God is there.” So David went and brought it up from Obed-Edom’s house to Jerusalem with joy. When the men carrying the Ark of the Lord had walked six steps, David sacrificed a bull and a fat calf. Then David danced with all his might before the Lord. He had on a holy linen vest. David and all the Israelites shouted with joy and blew the trumpets as they brought the Ark of the Lord to the city.
As the Ark of the Lord came into the city, Saul’s daughter Michal looked out the window. When she saw David jumping and dancing in the presence of the Lord, she hated him. David put up a tent for the Ark of the Lord, and then the Israelites put it in its place inside the tent. David offered whole burnt offerings and fellowship offerings before the Lord. When David finished offering the whole burnt offerings and the fellowship offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord All-Powerful. David gave a loaf of bread, a cake of dates, and a cake of raisins to every Israelite, both men and women. Then all the people went home.
Now that he returns home bearing blessings, watch what happens.
David went back to bless the people in his home, but Saul’s daughter Michal came out to meet him. She said, “With what honor the king of Israel acted today! You took off your clothes in front of the servant girls of your officers like one who takes off his clothes without shame!”
Then David said to Michal, “I did it in the presence of the Lord. The Lord chose me, not your father or anyone from Saul’s family. The Lord appointed me to be over Israel. So I will celebrate in the presence of the Lord. Maybe I will lose even more honor, and maybe I will be brought down in my own opinion, but the girls you talk about will honor me!”
And Saul’s daughter Michal had no children to the day she died.” 2 Samuel 6:12-23 NCV
In this same way, a good wife can rip the joy from her husband when He is operating in the fullness of God. David was CHOSEN and APPOINTED. Ladies, it’s not what we say but HOW we say it. She blasted him before he could even get in the door. (I’ve been guilty here.) But to her defense, in their culture, it was considered disrespectful to be naked in public. However, instead of stating it in disgust, I’m sure she could have added a little honey to it, or better yet, gotten out there and praised WITH him.
I was being selfish. I know that my husband is the bomb, but God did not intend for him to keep the gift he has bottled up. So guess what, now I am WITH him at some of his appearances or debrief his trips WITH him, because he is excited to operate in his gift, excited to share it with me, and I am honored to be able to see him so happy in the gift God blessed him with.
Please help us to watch our words, discern Your spirit, encourage our husbands in the Lord, and to remove our foolish insecurities by communing more often with You. Please bless our husbands (and future husbands) to walk in the paths You have given them. As they do this, teach us as wives (and wives to be) to join in, be discerning, trust You to protect our hearts and our marriages, and to be his friend as he walks as the man of God You have intended him to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
Ladies, I EMPOWER you to pray without ceasing for a clean heart and discernment. I EMPOWER you to think before you speak and to support your husband, fiancé, or boyfriend as he operates in the duties of God. These duties could be on his job, in the pulpit, as a little league coach, a student, the list is endless. Also pray that he is able to balance and nurture your relationship in the midst. Be WITH him. Stay strong in the Lord.
Ladies, can you recall the time you tore someone down with words? Share your story with us.
As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is a College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She and her husband serve as Co-Service leaders and Co-Group leaders of SustainedLove, which supports marriage get-a-ways from Family Life. Khalilah also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their two daughters. They attend Vaughn Forest Church.