- Feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.
- (of an act or attempt) Tried in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.
I was desperate. Time was winding down and I would soon face a summer of stress. My family was in transition. My husband was finishing law school, my daughter would be headed to kindergarten, my infant was just tagging along for the ride, and I was exhausted with applying for jobs. We didn’t know where we were going to live! We only planned to be here for two years and we were four months from that time expiring. Every day either my husband or I would receive a rejection letter from a job. Now, we were blessed to have jobs and income that sustained our household but we needed full time jobs to help secure our near future. I didn’t know where to tell my daughter to expect to go to school. I didn’t know if the house she was in now would be where she spent her childhood or if we would move and plant our roots elsewhere.
At one point, I became hopeless. Something that I learned about hopelessness; when you commune with God and learn to submit to His will you find humility in “hopelessness.” I became humbled. I thought to myself, Lord if You do not see fit for us to excel in the professional positions we are seeking we will be content with how You choose to move in our situation. I was humbled and waited. My spirit was quiet and I shared with God that I was desperate for His security. I was desperate for His guidance and strength. I remember being in prayer at one point and stated, “Lord if You want me to work at such and such, I will. I am not ashamed to work anywhere that’s legal, wholesome, and good!” When I opened my heart and worshipped God in the truth of my desperation and the humility of my ego, the job interviews came pouring in! At one point I had two to three job interviews a week. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “When You are desperate, he notices.” I rejoiced! Not in the fact that I may have a job, but in the fact that God was working! He heard my cry of desperation and he knew my heart. We both continued to post, send, and resend resumes, make phone calls, and connect with contacts.
During all of this God reminded me of the Woman with the issue of blood. Many of us know her and are familiar with her story. “Now when Jesus returned, a crowd welcomed him, for they were all expecting him…As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.
“Who touched me?” Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48 Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” Luke 8:40-48 NIV
She was desperate. For 12 years she bled and could not be healed, but she knew if she could just touch them hem of his garment, she would be made whole. That’s where I was. If I could just get close to his presence, I knew that whatever the outcome and future would hold it would be good!
I ended up with three offers for jobs on the same day! I now had options and had to request that I be removed from candidacy pools. In your life, when God reigns He pours! Without us knowing it, my husband’s supervisor (at a company where he was interning) was sending his resume to attorneys in the area of my top choice. We serve an awesome God and I truly believe that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM AND ARE CALLE D ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE! Romans 8:28 NIV
When you are desperate and reach out to his presence, he notices.
Thanks for noticing me during my desperation. You took me to a place of humility that I was not prepared for; yet, You blessed me more abundantly than I could have ever asked for. Lord I pray that every woman reading this reaches a point of desperation to have You close to her heart. Understanding that in the midst of failure, having little hope of success that she can hope and trust in You! May You be her strength, reassurance, reaffirmation of value, and her security. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Ladies, I EMPOWER you to reach out to the hem of the Holy One. The power of God can sustain you in your desperation. When you are desperate for Him and reach out, He notices you. Step out of your ego, press down your pride, and humble yourself to the will of the Father. He will blow your mind!
May you be blessed in worship by the lyrics of this song, “Breathe – I’m desperate for you” Sung by Byron Cage.
Ladies, have you ever found yourself desperate waiting on God? Share your story with us.
As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is a College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She and her husband serve as Co-Service leaders and Co-Group leaders of SustainedLove, which supports marriage get-a-ways from Family Life. Khalilah also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their two daughters. They attend Vaughn Forest Church.