Miscellaneous, Singleness


June is Black Music Month! To celebrate, each of our EmpowerMoments will be based on Black music for the entire month. This includes Black songwriters, producers or performers. Stay tuned as we use various genres of Black music to tell our stories and exemplify the beauty of God’s love! He can be found virtually anywhere if we earnestly look for Him and listen intently! Happy Black Music Month! Dance as if no one is watching!

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 NIV

Ladies, are you afraid of being ALONE? I don’t mean alone in your house, but alone because you lack companionship from the opposite sex.

Recently, I was reflecting on some of my previous relationships. I use the term “relationship” loosely because the common theme in all of these relationships is that we were never official. You know, we were just “talking” and/or “fooling around.” In many instances these pseudo relationships almost felt real, but they lacked commitment and I wasn’t forcing the issue. I was afraid that if I did force the issue, I would end up “alone.” Who really wants that? Having “someone” was better than no one…right? Wrong! I was giving pieces of my heart away on a hope and a dream, and their actions were only validating my feelings that although I was “with” someone, I was still “alone.”

Please tell me what, what you wanna do
My heart belongs to you and I don’t know what to do
You say that you still love me
It’s not in your actions so what’s the distraction?

We’re falling, falling apart
Feels like our ending, it’s not like the start
Please won’t you tell me the truth
Instead of always just leaving me here alone

As I am reminded of Ledisi’s ballad “Alone,” I know that I have felt this way, earnestly. Even when I was told that I was loved, the lack of real commitment left me feeling alone. I opened up my mind, my heart and my body because I thought that I would no longer feel “alone.”

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

Because I opened my heart to people who really weren’t ready for it, I allowed my emotions to make my decisions. Those decisions were often not in my best interest and the actions of those pseudo companions left me feeling dejected.

It has taken quite some time, but I am finally reaching a place where being “alone” is less an issue if it means that I am able to reject relationships that aren’t fruitful. What’s the point if we aren’t going anywhere? This EmpowerMoment doesn’t seek to minimize my desire for companionship or preach the “I’m married to Jesus” message because I recognize that the desire that I have is natural. Many of my friends have encouraged me to “go online” and while I’ve been that route before and have nothing against it, it’s not the space I am in right now. I’ve never been a serial dater and don’t want to deal with the momentary satisfaction. In the midst of my yearning for true companionship, I must avoid situations that only fill temporary voids. In the meantime, I am also learning to pray differently about my future mate so that I won’t make the mistakes of the past. I am learning to be satisfied while “alone.”

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for teaching me that I can’t hold anyone responsible for the matters of my heart because You instructed me to guard my heart. I am grateful that You continue to make me more mature in my spirit concerning relationships. Give me a spirit of discernment to recognize those who would abuse my heart and courage to move on and away from them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to reevaluate your relationships. Are you and someone still lingering around because you are afraid of being ALONE? Let it go! Be confident, courageous and make a decision knowing that being “alone” is sometimes the best time you can spend with yourself.

Please enjoy this ballad by Ledisi entitled: Alone


Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s