I struggle with having faith. There, I said it.
1. Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)
It wasn’t always this way. A series of life changing events happened but the straw that broke the camel’s back was when my mom died from ovarian cancer at only 48. We’d prayed, fasted, believed and had the faith she’d be healed here on earth. When it didn’t happen we were beyond devastated. My faith was literally shattered and at the time I couldn’t imagine that it could ever be repaired. That happened in 2006 and since then I’ve been on what I like to call a “faith recovery journey”.
This journey has been one of ups and downs and has been a significant challenge. I have to daily defeat the attacks of the enemy as I continue to repair my faith walk while trying to be an example to others as well. God has been gracious to me on this journey and step by step my faith is being recovered. I’m experiencing less and less doubt. I’m once again becoming more confident in the promises of God. I truly know what it means when people say “if He doesn’t do it, it wasn’t because He couldn’t…”
So fast forward to now. Nearly four months ago I became a board certified family nurse practitioner (NP). Upon accomplishing that goal, I’ve experienced more renewed faith. I figured, God had allowed me to get accepted into one of the most renown and competitive universities in the country. God had allowed me to complete a rigorous program of study. He’d also allowed me to pass the national certification exam. Each time I told Him how thankful I was. God was on a roll! Don’t fail me now that it was time to get a job. I decided to do “faith test” seizing the opportunity to exercise my “faith-o-meter”.
I told God that I wanted a nurse practitioner job but not just any job. I wanted to be in His perfect will. I prayed my prayer of faith and told God what I wanted (if it be His will) from the type of practice environment to the starting pay. I’d told myself that I’d ask Him wholeheartedly and would have faith to believe He’d do it. Then an interesting opportunity came up and I pursued it all the while reminding God of my prayer to Him. It took some time, but the job offer came. I was elated! Now it was negotiation time. With my limited negotiation experience I looked at the document they’d drafted detailing my terms of employment with one “side eye” and then slightly at God with another, lol. Almost immediately, I reminded myself of my prayer and faith in God about the situation.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)
I asked Him and some trusted NP mentors to help me navigate the negotiation process. I knew that if this was the job God wanted me to have, He’d allow all the pieces to fall into place. I just had to keep the faith and trust Him to work out the details He and I had discussed. Guess what, He remembered every one of them and I accepted the job!
As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 1:3 (NLT)
Interestingly enough, the situation that shattered my faith has become somewhat of the catalyst in my “faith redemption and recovery”. My mom succumbed to ovarian cancer. In just a short while, I’ll be the nurse practitioner serving hematology (medicine involving blood and blood producing organs) and oncology (medicine involving cancer) patients. God sure does have a strange and funny way of doing things sometimes.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 (KJV)
Have you checked your “faith-o-meter” lately? I hope and pray it goes up, up, up.
Thanks for allowing us to have redeeming faith experiences. Thanks for not turning Your back on us when we do it to You. Help us to continue to trust You and have faith in You even in the most difficult and trying times. We recognize that it is only by Your grace and mercy that we are where we are and have survived what we have survived. We also recognize that it is only through You that we can overcome what we are currently going through and will go through. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
Faith-filled women, I EMPOWER you to continue to keep the faith and to hold on no matter how dim. I EMPOWER you to continue to defeat the enemy who comes to rob us of our faith in the only One we should have faith in. From faithless to faith-filled women, I EMPOWER you to hold on to every piece of God that is in you during these dark times because those pieces are what will help keep you during the season. I EMPOWER you to tell Him about your faith or lack of and then allow yourself the leeway for repairs.
What experiences have been key on your faith walk? Share your journey below!
Read a related EmpowerMoment: The Face of Faith
Mrs. Coretta Collins is a wife and mother who enjoys reading, writing, movies and spending time with family and friends. She is avid about health, healing and helping which serves her well as a registered nurse and recent Family Nurse Practitioner graduate. Striving to be led by the Lord throughout life and having overcome significant challenges, her favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Coretta is a member of St. John A.M.E. Church in Birmingham, Alabama. She resides in Calera, Alabama with her awesome husband and two wonderful sons.