When she enters the room, the air is immediately sucked out of it. My disdain becomes apparent in my tone and each condescending statement leads me closer to reading her like a book. If this were kindergarten, she would get an X in the “works well with others” category.
At first, I tried to ignore the snarky comments and overbearing demeanor; however, my patience has dissipated. Don’t come for me, unless I send for you, has become my mantra. It’s not just me; I’ve watched others quickly become angry as they became her next victim. Her negative energy is contagious. It reminds me of an EmpowerMoment I wrote years ago entitled I Believe In Vampires. It was about toxic people who relieve you of all of your energy by dumping all of their issues on you; but what about people who consistently spread negative energy that causes you to act out of character.
Lately, that has been my story. I have been working with a person that is so difficult that I enter the room ready for a battle. She snaps, I snap harder. Who does she think she is, talking to me like that? I am going to show everyone that I won’t let her get the best of me but in reality I already have. Proverbs 29:11 tells us Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. NIV
Sadly, I also noticed that others around me are like sponges. The more I let her make me angry, I’ve noticed that I’ve influenced others to come prepared for battle; but, the problem is we have all brought the wrong weapons. Only in multiplication will two negatives equal a positive. I’ve caught her negative energy and have continued to infect others. If I want to prevent a complete meltdown, I need to stop the spread of the virus – beginning with me.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:26-27,29, 31-32 NIV
These scriptures are more easily read than executed; however, they are very necessary. When I catch the spirit of negativity, not only will I spread it to others, but the stress can literally make me sick. From this point forward, I will recognize the behavior for what it is (bullying), have a calm discussion when necessary, and realize the fruits of the spirit are the best weapons in fighting negative energy.
Thank You for being an all wise God. Help me to keep my calm in the midst of the storm. Lord I ask that You continue to teach me how to deal with negative people. Let me not respond in anger but in love. Let my actions be an example to others of what is good and right. Allow Your light to shine through me as I combat negative energy with the weapons You have provided – love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, faith, meekness and temperance. In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Ladies, I EMPOWER you to shift the way that you respond to negative energy. Innoculate yourself against the spread of negativity by going to God in prayer and girding yourself with the right weapons. Don’t let the anger caused by negative energy cause you to sin. Remember that even when you are in your own mess, God loves you. You must do the same for others.
How do you deal with negative people? Share your story with us.
Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me.
Photo credit: http://www.sociopatterns.org/deployments/infectious-sociopatterns/