Flashback Friday: The Ugly Truth

Ladies, enjoy this flash from the past which was originally posted on April 13, 2011.

Seven years ago, I met a guy who was really not right for me but I accepted him into my heart and home anyway. He looked GOOD and I was lonely. Although his accomplishments and academic achievements differed from mine this had nothing to do with our compatibility. He wasn’t right for me because “he was sorry.”

My life was on an incline and his was flatlined with only “talk” about what he would do better. While he treated me okay and “talked a good game” I could no longer accept the less than substandard package I was presented with. One day, fed up with the quasi-dating, semi-shacking lifestyle that we were involved in, I put him out. I told him that he needed to get his s&@t together! Ladies, you have to understand as confrontational as I am in all other areas of my life when it comes to men I am on MUTE so iniating this conversation was extremely difficult.

I wasn’t “breaking up” with him; I just wanted him to stay at his own place and court me like a real man. What I thought would snap him back into reality caused him to completely cut off contact with me. I was devastated. After he stopped talking to me, I saw him again only once before I moved. Since I left the Sunshine State in 2006 we have barely communicated. Our last communication ended in me telling him to NEVER contact me again and that to him meant it was dead.

“And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free” John 8: 32

Fast forward to the present. A few weeks ago, this same guy called me and the conversation brought a smile to my heart. He told me that he never forgot me telling him to “get his s&@t together.” He was calling me to let me know that he had done just that. He has a great job and is working towards the next level in his career path. I literally had not seen him in five years. He told me that I inspired him and encouraged him to do better and although it took some time to get it together he wants to be a part of my life. I’m not from Missouri but I told him that he had to “Show Me”…and to his credit he has begun to do just that.

This story is less about our relationship and more about the fact that the words I used to transform his life were as important to me as they were to him. Even if we never date again, although uncomfortable, I planted seeds of truth that have now manifested. Sometimes it’s hard to say the thing that needs to be said, when it needs to be said and to whom you need to say it to. Personally, I have let many situations linger in my life simply because I knew revealing the truth would hurt. But when God speaks truth to you, be obedient because it can be a liberating process for both you and eventually the other person. It can breathe new life to a situation. I have since learned to speak the truth in a much gentler way, but I thank God that He could still promote change through my profane approach!

Dear Daddy,

When I don’t know how to speak Your truth give me the courage to say the words that need to be said. Help me to be truthful without being judgmental. Help me to accept the truth about myself when people tell me and to fix those areas that are in need of repair. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today EMPOWER yourself by telling the TRUTH. You may not have a word for someone else because sometimes the person who needs to hear the truth is staring at us in the mirror. Acknowledge the message that God is giving you and speak TRUTH to Power! 


Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me.

2 thoughts on “Flashback Friday: The Ugly Truth”

  1. I understand what it’s like to step away from a situation that I felt like I was settling in (i.e. a relationship). I’m glad the guy you mentioned in your post got his stuff together. Sometimes we need people to give us a word or words to make us get on track.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s