“ When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou
Unfortunately, I’ve often made the mistake of trusting people who never earned it or indeed abused it. I used to date a guy who on the surface was a “nice” guy. He said all of the right things but his actions didn’t convey the same. I let my guard down because of his sweet nothings. Even when I realized that he was all talk, it took me a while to end it. On and off for years, I would let him creep back in, hoping that “this time” things would be different. They never were. Each time, I left the situation drained and wondering how I allowed myself to fall into his trap. The truth of the matter is that I trusted my heart with an untrustworthy person. Actions indeed speak louder than words.
Similarly, Samson continued to give his heart to untrustworthy women. He married women who while professing to love him betrayed him. In Judges 14, Samson gives a riddle to the Philistines “Let me tell you a riddle,” Samson said to them. “If you can give me the answer within the seven days of the feast, I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes. If you can’t tell me the answer, you must give me thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes.” (12-13 NIV)
His wife was threatened by the Philistines to obtain the answer. Instead of telling her husband the dilemma, she pressured him day after day until he finally shared with her. Before sunset on the seventh day the men of the town said to him,“What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”Samson said to them,“If you had not plowed with my heifer, you would not have solved my riddle. Judges 14:18 NIV Needless to say, this marriage was over and “the woman from Timnah” was given to one of Samson’s companions.
Just like me, Samson trusted again. He went from a bad situation to worst. Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah. The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, “See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver.” So Delilah said to Samson, “Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.” Samson answered her, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” Then the rulers of the Philistines brought her seven fresh bowstrings that had not been dried, and she tied him with them. With men hidden in the room, she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” But he snapped the bowstrings as easily as a piece of string snaps when it comes close to a flame. So the secret of his strength was not discovered. Then Delilah said to Samson, “You have made a fool of me; you lied to me. Come now, tell me how you can be tied.” Judges 16:4-10 NIV
What has perplexed me throughout the story of Samson and Delilah is that she repeatedly asked Samson the secret to his strength and with each answer he provided, she carried out a plan to strip him of his power. Unfortunately, Samson disobeyed God and after her persistent pressure revealed the secret to his strength. Ultimately, this revelation lead to his death. (Read Judges 16:15-30) If she continuously showed that she would betray him, why would he continue to let his guard down? Love and lust can make you do strange things.
Ladies, often times we find ourselves in very similar circumstances. We continuously trust people who have only abused the very thing that we should guard. I can count friends, boyfriends and family members who were underserving of my trust that I gave so freely. I’ve shed many tears and had many sleepless nights because someone betrayed the trust I shared. After studying Samson, there are several takeaways from the story:
- Some people study your power only so they can use it against you
- Some things God has for you are not to be shared with others
- Be careful of the people who you allow to get close to you
- If you don’t learn from a mistake, you’re destined to repeat it
- When people reveal themselves to you, believe them
Increase my spirit of discernment so that I do not put my trust in untrustworthy people. Give me the strength to walk cleanly away when it’s time to sever a relationship. God I know that You have gifted in me many things so I pray that You bring me in the presence of people who will only increase my gifts and not detract from them. Open my eyes so that I recognize when I am repeating the same pattern of letting my guard down around people who mean me no good. Let me be someone that people can trust. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Ladies today I EMPOWER you to seek God about relationships, friends and family who you need to disengage. I encourage you to open your eyes and see people for who they are. Do not make excuses for their behavior or how they have treated you. Stop trusting people with your secrets, time, talent and your treasures who have only abused your trust.
Have you repeatedly put your trust in untrustworthy people? How did you stop?
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Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me.