Everybody who knows me know that I love my job and I am devoted to children. I entered my 11th year as an educator a week ago and I thought I was more prepared and organized than I had ever been. I thought that I had covered all bases and was ready to go. Not only had I covered all my classroom bases, I also was ready to go with all my other duties, so I thought. I prayed and asked God to let this be my best year to date.
The year started; I met my students, whom I love. I made sure my middle school team was intact and it started. I then began to feel like everything was unraveling right before my eyes. Every time I completed a task it seemed like my boss would have to come clean up my mess. Every time I gave other teachers directives, it seemed like they wasn’t executing it to fidelity. In two weeks I have been overwhelmed and overworked, and I feel stressed. Remember, I just stated that I have never been more prepared in my entire career.
I realized that every time I get a promotion, something great happens to me in my career or every time I am just happy where I am, an event occurs that overwhelms me. I am not passing the test. I know that God has ordained me for greater and I know that leadership is in my future but I pondered about what I am missing. I evaluated myself and just kept hearing, “You are not passing the test.”
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12 ESV)
There are a few tests that I have not passed-
- I wear my feelings on my sleeves- I act like I don’t care or that things don’t affect me. I know that I am putting on a front because I am sensitive and I internalize my issues instead of dealing with them.
- I am a complainer- I don’t want any problems or drama, I just like to vent. How can I be a leader, but always need to vent to someone every time someone speaks to me in an unpleasant tone or something happens that I don’t agree with. I realized I need to walk, talk, and act like a boss.
- I am not organized- I live in organized chaos, meaning I know it’s not organized but I know where everything is located.
So I guess you are wondering how I know my issues. Well I prayed and asked God to reveal me to me. What I found out was not what I wanted to hear but it was what I needed to hear. Today I woke up with a better attitude and an overall feeling of I am going to pass my test. I thank God for revealing me to me and allowing me practice runs and crash courses instead of letting me fail completely. The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 ESV) I made a vow to God that I wanted to be pleasing in His eye sight and because of that I will pass the test!
Thank You for allowing me opportunities to learn from my shortcomings and mistakes. God, thank You for being there to always guide me when I make wrong turns. God, please lead and guide me so that I will not keep making the same mistakes and that I will pass the tests that are keeping me from my next steps. God, assist me in dealing with my feelings, complaining and organizational habits so that I am operating in excellence. In Jesus Name, Amen!
Ladies, I EMPOWER you to ask God to reveal you to you. Stop letting your shortcomings or your own insecurities stand in the way of you and your destiny. Stop spinning your wheels on your job, in your marriage, with your relationships, with your health, with your finances, or anything else that is keeping you from passing the test.
Let’s have a moment of silence for the 9/11 victim and let’s remember to keep the victims’ families and those who helped, served and blessed those who were affected by such tragedy that happened to our country 13 years ago.
Keviyona Ray is an ordained minister and co-pastor in training of The Christ For All People International Church. She is passionate about sharing the word of God with everyone she encounters. As a professional, Keviyona is a teacher for Chicago Public Schools. She loves her ministry of teaching and changing children’s lives. She is a devoted wife and mother of a wonderful daughter. Two of her favorite scriptures are Jeremiah 1: 5: “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations” and Proverbs 29:18: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.