Miscellaneous

Stop The Madness!

“Insanity is doing the same thing over & over expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

I recently made a conscious decision to no longer put myself in situations that I don’t want to be in with guys and to really stop settling. I’ve been single for three years and being single, as you know, can get lonely at times. I would tell guys that I’d meet that I just wanted to be friends, and we would end up just hanging out and being cool. We would start off being on the same page and after a period of time I’d discover they were romantically interested in me. When I didn’t share the same feelings as they did, they would become mad at me. After they got over the fact that I didn’t share their feelings, we would become cool again… eventually things would end between us.

I’m happy to say that I’m no longer talking to any of those guys. I never expected to have those guys in my life over a drawn out period of time. They stayed longer in my life than they ought to have stayed. After doing intense self-evaluation, I noticed the same cycle repeating itself over and over again. I had to ask myself why I kept going through the same situation. The common denominator in all of the situations was me: Venus. I was the problem! Ouch! I allowed the situations to continue longer than they should have. I should have cut it off when the guys’ desires and my desires didn’t match.

I was telling myself that I didn’t want to settle, but my actions weren’t matching up with what I said in my heart. I had to take responsibility for putting myself in those situations. God showed me the root of my patterns. The root: I was broken and vulnerable after my last relationship ended three years ago. I was also broken from the relationship that I was in prior to my last relationship. So the situations with the guys stemmed from me being broken. Wow!

God is now restoring me, healing me, and making me whole. I had to realize that I have to put a stop to the negative patterns and no longer waste my time on these guys that I do not desire to have in my life. I desire to be in a committed relationship with a Godly man. I would like to have a friendship that leads to a relationship that leads into a marriage. How can my Godly husband find me if I’m entertaining fools? In my last EmpowerMoment, I discussed a situation that I was in with a guy named “Jake”. In a nutshell, there were too many red flags with Jake and I had to shut it down. I’m finally at the point where I’m done with entertaining foolishness. I can’t take it anymore. I deserve and want better for myself. I’m taking dating with a purpose seriously. If a man isn’t bearing any good fruit, isn’t Godly, and isn’t displaying the characteristics that I need in a mate, he has to go! NEXT!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for showing me the root of my patterns. Help me to not repeat the cycles in my life. I don’t want to be insane! I want to be set free! In Jesus Name, Amen.

Ladies I EMPOWER you to pray and ask God to show you the root of your issues so that you can receive His healing. It can be a scary and hurtful process but the reward is great. Psalm 147:3 (NLT) states, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

What things are driving you insane?

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Venus Gilmore currently resides in Auburn, AL. She is an alumna of Auburn University. Venus has B.A. in Sociology with a concentration in Social Organization and Inequality with a minor in Social Work. She plans on pursuing a career in Social Services. She currently serves as the Mamie Reese Scholarship Director and College Transition Program Director of her sorority Theta Phi Sigma Christian Sorority, Inc. Venus is also a blogger for Radical7even. She is an active Client Advocate volunteer for the Women’s Hope Medical Clinic. She successfully balances all of these responsibilities with her favorite scripture as motivation: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)

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