Stop The Madness!

“Insanity is doing the same thing over & over expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

I recently made a conscious decision to no longer put myself in situations that I don’t want to be in with guys and to really stop settling. I’ve been single for three years and being single, as you know, can get lonely at times. I would tell guys that I’d meet that I just wanted to be friends, and we would end up just hanging out and being cool. We would start off being on the same page and after a period of time I’d discover they were romantically interested in me. When I didn’t share the same feelings as they did, they would become mad at me. After they got over the fact that I didn’t share their feelings, we would become cool again… eventually things would end between us.

I’m happy to say that I’m no longer talking to any of those guys. I never expected to have those guys in my life over a drawn out period of time. They stayed longer in my life than they ought to have stayed. After doing intense self-evaluation, I noticed the same cycle repeating itself over and over again. I had to ask myself why I kept going through the same situation. The common denominator in all of the situations was me: Venus. I was the problem! Ouch! I allowed the situations to continue longer than they should have. I should have cut it off when the guys’ desires and my desires didn’t match.

I was telling myself that I didn’t want to settle, but my actions weren’t matching up with what I said in my heart. I had to take responsibility for putting myself in those situations. God showed me the root of my patterns. The root: I was broken and vulnerable after my last relationship ended three years ago. I was also broken from the relationship that I was in prior to my last relationship. So the situations with the guys stemmed from me being broken. Wow!

God is now restoring me, healing me, and making me whole. I had to realize that I have to put a stop to the negative patterns and no longer waste my time on these guys that I do not desire to have in my life. I desire to be in a committed relationship with a Godly man. I would like to have a friendship that leads to a relationship that leads into a marriage. How can my Godly husband find me if I’m entertaining fools? In my last EmpowerMoment, I discussed a situation that I was in with a guy named “Jake”. In a nutshell, there were too many red flags with Jake and I had to shut it down. I’m finally at the point where I’m done with entertaining foolishness. I can’t take it anymore. I deserve and want better for myself. I’m taking dating with a purpose seriously. If a man isn’t bearing any good fruit, isn’t Godly, and isn’t displaying the characteristics that I need in a mate, he has to go! NEXT!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for showing me the root of my patterns. Help me to not repeat the cycles in my life. I don’t want to be insane! I want to be set free! In Jesus Name, Amen.

Ladies I EMPOWER you to pray and ask God to show you the root of your issues so that you can receive His healing. It can be a scary and hurtful process but the reward is great. Psalm 147:3 (NLT) states, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

What things are driving you insane?


Venus Gilmore currently resides in Auburn, AL. She is an alumna of Auburn University. Venus has B.A. in Sociology with a concentration in Social Organization and Inequality with a minor in Social Work. She plans on pursuing a career in Social Services. She currently serves as the Mamie Reese Scholarship Director and College Transition Program Director of her sorority Theta Phi Sigma Christian Sorority, Inc. Venus is also a blogger for Radical7even. She is an active Client Advocate volunteer for the Women’s Hope Medical Clinic. She successfully balances all of these responsibilities with her favorite scripture as motivation: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)