Enemies, Trust

Trusting the Untrustworthy

“ When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou

Unfortunately, I’ve often made the mistake of trusting people who never earned it or indeed abused it. I used to date a guy who on the surface was a “nice” guy. He said all of the right things but his actions didn’t convey the same. I let my guard down because of his sweet nothings. Even when I realized that he was all talk, it took me a while to end it. On and off for years, I would let him creep back in, hoping that “this time” things would be different. They never were. Each time, I left the situation drained and wondering how I allowed myself to fall into his trap. The truth of the matter is that I trusted my heart with an untrustworthy person. Actions indeed speak louder than words.

Similarly, Samson continued to give his heart to untrustworthy women. He married women who while professing to love him betrayed him. In Judges 14, Samson gives a riddle to the Philistines “Let me tell you a riddle,” Samson said to them. “If you can give me the answer within the seven days of the feast, I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes. If you can’t tell me the answer, you must give me thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes.” (12-13 NIV)

His wife was threatened by the Philistines to obtain the answer. Instead of telling her husband the dilemma, she pressured him day after day until he finally shared with her. Before sunset on the seventh day the men of the town said to him,“What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”Samson said to them,“If you had not plowed with my heifer, you would not have solved my riddle. Judges 14:18 NIV Needless to say, this marriage was over and “the woman from Timnah” was given to one of Samson’s companions.

Just like me, Samson trusted again. He went from a bad situation to worst. Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah. The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, “See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver.” So Delilah said to Samson, “Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.” Samson answered her, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” Then the rulers of the Philistines brought her seven fresh bowstrings that had not been dried, and she tied him with them. With men hidden in the room, she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” But he snapped the bowstrings as easily as a piece of string snaps when it comes close to a flame. So the secret of his strength was not discovered. Then Delilah said to Samson, “You have made a fool of me; you lied to me. Come now, tell me how you can be tied.” Judges 16:4-10 NIV

What has perplexed me throughout the story of Samson and Delilah is that she repeatedly asked Samson the secret to his strength and with each answer he provided, she carried out a plan to strip him of his power. Unfortunately, Samson disobeyed God and after her persistent pressure revealed the secret to his strength. Ultimately, this revelation lead to his death. (Read Judges 16:15-30) If she continuously showed that she would betray him, why would he continue to let his guard down? Love and lust can make you do strange things.

Ladies, often times we find ourselves in very similar circumstances. We continuously trust people who have only abused the very thing that we should guard. I can count friends, boyfriends and family members who were underserving of my trust that I gave so freely. I’ve shed many tears and had many sleepless nights because someone betrayed the trust I shared. After studying Samson, there are several takeaways from the story:

  1. Some people study your power only so they can use it against you
  2. Some things God has for you are not to be shared with others
  3. Be careful of the people who you allow to get close to you
  4. If you don’t learn from a mistake, you’re destined to repeat it
  5. When people reveal themselves to you, believe them

Dear Daddy,

Increase my spirit of discernment so that I do not put my trust in untrustworthy people. Give me the strength to walk cleanly away when it’s time to sever a relationship. God I know that You have gifted in me many things so I pray that You bring me in the presence of people who will only increase my gifts and not detract from them. Open my eyes so that I recognize when I am repeating the same pattern of letting my guard down around people who mean me no good. Let me be someone that people can trust. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Ladies today I EMPOWER you to seek God about relationships, friends and family who you need to disengage. I encourage you to open your eyes and see people for who they are. Do not make excuses for their behavior or how they have treated you. Stop trusting people with your secrets, time, talent and your treasures who have only abused your trust.

Have you repeatedly put your trust in untrustworthy people? How did you stop?

Please help us bless and EMPOWER homeless women and their children as the beginning of a new school year nears!  For more information on how you can donate and help make a difference, please click here http://www.gofundme.com/cfeux8


Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me.

Enemies, Gentleness, Love, Prayer, Self-Control, Testimony Series

My Testimony: A Testy Testimony

Happy New Year EmpowerMoments family! We have surely missed you! As we kick off the new year, we are beginning with a series entitled “Testimonies & Lessons”. We believe Revelation 12:11 when it says that we overcome by the word of our testimonies. We pray that our testimony and lessons from last year will EMPOWER you to triumph this year! May God bless you and make 2014 the greatest year of your life thus far!

Have you ever wished you weren’t a Christian just so you could claim ignorance when you intentionally did something wrong? Or have you ever wished you weren’t a Christian so you would not feel convicted to be an example of Christ for someone who is unsaved or for someone who you really don’t like. Until the latter part of last year, I had not had that experience. I was in a position where I had to “deal” with this person who I thought was rather unpleasant and had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way. The situation was very challenging. I was often in positions where I had to spend unwanted time with her. I would think to myself, “Lord, please help me to remain gracious and suppress my flesh.” I mean I just really didn’t like her, so much so I dreaded the thought of her. Moreover, I felt like my feelings were warranted because of her ugly ways and actions.  I really just wanted to “go off” on her one good time. But I was convicted by the fact that I am a Christian who is supposed to help bring others to Christ. What kind of witness would I be if I acted irrationally and out of character just to satisfy my fleshly desires? So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:17 ESV)

I greatly battled with this. I even wished that she was a Christian so that at least it would be less pressure to “do the right thing” because Christians understand that Christians don’t always act “Christian” right? (How ridiculous is that thought? Guess I was really desperate.) But noooo, it would be too easy for her to be Christian and that would diminish the lesson God was teaching me. She is a deist of sorts. Deism, according to the freedictionary.com, is the belief, based solely on reason, in a God who created the universe and then abandoned it, assuming no control over life, exerting no influence on natural phenomena, and giving no supernatural revelation. My experience with her was so challenging that I would think, “really, God, I ask You to increase my walk with You and this is what You do?”

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. (Luke 6: 27-31 ESV)

I was soooo frustrated. I don’t recall there ever being a time in my life where I felt so ill toward someone. I realized it was negatively impacting my life!  If I were to ever conquer this situation, God was going to have to help me! And help me He did…

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. (Romans 12:14 NLT) This was so much harder than I thought and I thought I had been doing this my whole life. Certain situations really put certain scripture in perspective for you.

I started to PRAY more, not just for me, but FOR HER. I prayed on how to deal with her. I prayed on how to deal with myself regarding my feelings and thoughts toward her. I prayed to have her removed from my immediate surroundings. Then, believe it or not, over time I found myself praying for her “for real”, her heart, her salvation, her life and her situations. Over time, I didn’t dread the thought or sight of her as much. I wanted my life and light to reflect Christ toward her. I intentionally tried to set a good example even when she tested my resolve. It has now become easier to have a conversation with her and I could care less if she’s in “my space” or not. I guess the saying is true: “Prayer may not change the person, but it’ll change you.” Later, as God would have it, she was relocated to another area and we didn’t have to share the same space anymore. Funny how God works huh?

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for teaching lessons we unknowingly need to learn. Thanks for seeing past our emotions and for forgiving us when we don’t act like You would have us too. Thanks for strengthening our relationship with You through new experiences. Help us to pray for those who do us wrong and trust that You will handle it all in Your time. You said You would make our enemies our footstool, and we know that all things work together for our good. Thank You for the revelation and the unlikely testimony. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Tired, tried and tested sisters, I EMPOWER you to push past your feelings and give the situation to Jesus. I EMPOWER you to know that the test comes before the testimony! I EMPOWER you to hold on to the Word and abide by it no matter how trying or tempting the situation is. I EMPOWER you to pray for your enemies genuinely and sincerely! I EMPOWER you to go from test to testimony!

Ladies, who is God laying on your heart to pray for during your tests?


Mrs. Coretta Collins is a wife and mother who enjoys reading, writing, movies and spending time with family and friends. She is avid about health, healing and helping which serves her well as a registered nurse and recent Family Nurse Practitioner graduate. Striving to be led by the Lord throughout life and having overcome significant challenges, her favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Coretta is a member of St. John A.M.E. Church in Birmingham, Alabama. She resides in Calera, Alabama with her awesome husband and two wonderful sons.