Anxiety, Attitude, Freedom, I Am Free Series, Relationships, Self Love, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Spirit of Inferiority

F.R.E.E. (Feeling Relieved Encouraged and Excited)

Last week I was so moved by each one of the “I Am Free” series I had to do just one more. I know being free, first starts in your mind.  Thinking and believing that you’re in no form or shape confined or captured by negative thoughts.

I Am Free: Insecurities

To be insecure means to not be sure or certain; doubtful.  It’s embarrassing to say, but I’m a 30-year-old woman who is insecure.  Silly right?  That’s where my thinking trapped me especially when it comes to the opposite sex.  In my relationships the guys messed around, used me, lied to me, and took me for granted or just plain stopped caring.  I couldn’t figure out why because I’m the hopeless romantic.  I make sure to please and go above and beyond.  However at the end of the relationship journey, I’m the one that’s left feeling even more insecure.

Because I didn’t have that loving, bonding relationship with my dad like some girls experience I brought my “daddy insecurities” into my relationships with men. I was sometimes argumentative, weak and needy.  I was very insecure and I was letting it control me.  I used up way too much energy on worrying about the wrong things.  After enough arguments, tearing down of my self-esteem, stress taking over my mind and body, feeling neglected and not good enough I gave up and I LET GO!  I made up in my mind that insecurities would not control what God created.

God’s word helps us make decisions. Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” Psalms 119:105 NLT  I had to really get in God’s word and let it saturate my mind, and really start praying, sowing good seeds, loving my enemies, and forgiving and truly forgetting.  God’s love has made me stronger.  It has given me assurance. Romans 5:1-5 NLT says,

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.  Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

In God’s sight there is no need for me to feel or be insecure about anything.  He created me. So God created human beings, in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 NLT

God’s word has set me F.R.E.E (Feeling Relieved Encouraged and Excited) about LIFE!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for my journey.  Although I’ve carried a life of insecurities, You knew it would be used for the glory of my story.  Thank You for the falls for I stand taller. Thank You for the hurt for I love better.  For where I am weak, You make me strong. I love You and I give You all the praises. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies I EMPOWER you to speak over what is keeping you down.  It may not be insecurities but recognize and become F.R.E.E. of satan’s many “D”evices to destroy you.

Satan’s “D”evices:

Disappointment, discouragement, despair,  doubt(insecurities), distraction, double mindedness, dishonesty, deceit, dullness, disbelief, defame, discard, defilement, delay, disobedience, DEBT!

Be blessed & Be F.R.E.E.!

Are you an overcomer or are you still struggling with insecurity? Share your story with us in the comment section.

Read a related EmpowerMoment: Invisible Me

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Ms. Hassanah White is a dedicated member of Faith Walkers Church in Birmingham, Alabama where their motto is to “Walk it out by Faith.”  She also serves as a member of the Praise Dance Ministry.  Hassanah is a true professional in the realm of marketing and customer service.  She’s a proud mother of a very energetic little boy named Jaden.  Hassanah believes laughter and prayer are the best medicines for any situation.  Her favorite scripture is Hebrews 11:6: “And without Faith it is impossible to please GOD, because anyone who comes to Him must BELIEVE that He exists and that He REWARDS those who earnestly seek Him.”

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Encouragement, God's Promises, I Am Free Series, Self Forgiveness, Spirit of Inferiority

I Am Free: Inferiority

To commemorate our nation’s independence this week, we are featuring a series entitled “I Am Free”. Read this week as our writers share how God has delivered them and set them free!

I am FREE from feelings of inferiority!

The steps of reading the Word of God, believing what it says, and releasing it would end the torment from the spirit of inferiority. Inferiority is a yolk of bondage that has been broken off of my life, because of the word of God. Today if you are dealing with the lie of “you are or will never be good enough”, you will be set free if you continue to read.

It began when I was just a young girl. Six months after having me, my mother met my step-father and that is the day I had my first appointment with “inferiority”. Since I can remember I was always reminded by my step-father directly and indirectly how I was not his, less than my siblings, and he was better than my father because he stuck around. I longed to be good enough for him and worthy of his praise.

After years, I convinced myself that I was unworthy, and that I would never be good enough. Inferiority restricted me from seeing potential in myself or having any potential for myself. I didn’t want to move forward in any of my dreams. I began to always have an attitude of defeat and felt less than everyone else. The feeling became so powerful that I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital twice while I was a teen, battled an addiction to marijuana, had my first child at 16, and dropped out of high-school.

Feeling inferior restricted me in my life and made me feel ashamed. It stopped me from moving forward. It prevented me from having healthy relationships and trying new things such as attending college. I used to think I can’t go there, I won’t fit in or worried that my peers or others would look down on me or judge me.

After I was saved, I continued to feel inferior; it became worst. Even though I was born again I was still in bondage. The first time I walked into church I thought I wasn’t good enough. I had too many sins on my track sheet. This also haunted me when I started dating my husband. Others would make comments referring to how I wasn’t good enough. Then I always would think he could do better. Further in my salvation, I’ve even encountered in ministry the same spirit. Making others feel inferior is very prevalent in the body of Christ today.

I had people in the church look down on me because I was a teen mom, I didn’t talk like them, speak like them, or have enough religion like them, but GLORY to God I’m free today and you can be too! Who we believe in and what we believe about ourselves will motivate what choices we make, the relationships we have, the activities we partake in, and how we live our life for Christ. It could also have an impact on how good we feel about ourselves. Believing the lies of the enemy, “You’re not good enough”, “You can’t do that”, or “You can’t get free” does not please God nor does it do us any good!

Here are a few truths from the Word of God that I believed, meditated on, and released in my mind and heart so that I could get free from feeling inferior:

1. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3 NIV)You have the power to defeat the spirit of inferiority. Your soul is where your thoughts and feelings have agreement. Your soul either agrees with your flesh (ruled by your five senses) or your spirit (ruled by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God). So you have to search the Word and find out what God has said and while doing this the Holy Spirit will witness to your spirit to tell your mind the truth.

2. “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”(Hebrews 11:6 NIV) When you find something in the Word about you, you have to believe that God is telling the truth. It sounds simple, but it’s hard. God sees you as He sees Jesus! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

3.”Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is; his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:12 NIV) Begin to think, talk, and act on the Word of God! It’s not enough to just know it, but you have to believe it and do it!

Dear Daddy,

We thank You for loving us and giving us the power to break the yokes in our lives. Just as Your Word declares, “Not by might nor by power, but by Your Spirit”, we decree that a supernatural empowerment will take place in our lives now. In the authority of Jesus Christ we curse the root of inferiority and the fruits it produced. We rebuke the weapons of guilt, shame, jealousy, and conformity right now. We speak into our futures and command the angels of the Lord to war against any backlash or trap that the enemy would set. We cancel every appointment that the kingdom of darkness has set with our destinies. We thank You for a renewed mind and heart. We thank You that we will no longer think, talk, or act inferior to any person or thing. We thank You that greater is He that is within us and we activate the power of Your blessings. Now, Holy Spirit corrects us if we ever get side tracked. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

I EMPOWER you today to no longer live with inferiority or make anyone feel inferior to you. Each one of us has our own unique quality, feature, gifting, and anointing. We all have different backgrounds and experiences, but we all are special to our Father!

After reading this EmpowerMoment, can you recall defeating the spirit of feeling inferior?

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Mrs. Lisa M. Purnell-Marshall is happily married to the wonderful and inspiring Antoine L. Marshall. She is the proud mother of two gorgeous girls. Her voice is one of the leading and authentic voices for breast-feeding, especially for the African-American community and Generation Y. She currently works inside of her home and plans to become a professional licensed lactation consultant in 2014. She and her family are members at Spirit of Liberty Church located in Markham, IL. Embracing the love that God has for her, Lisa labors to live an acceptable and pure life through the leading and keeping of the Holy Spirit so that her attitude, words, and actions attract the glory of God. In her free time she loves receiving manis and pedis. Her favorite promises that she find comfort and reassurance in are: Psalm34:19: “A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all” and Luke 6:38: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Abortion, Comfort, Death, Encouragement, God's Love, God's Mercy, God's Protection, I Am Free Series, Inspirational, Pain, Self Forgiveness, Spiritual Therapy, Throwback Thursdays, Trials

I Am Free: The Love Letter

It’s Throwback Thursday! Enjoy this blast from the past. To commemorate our nation’s independence this week, we are featuring a series entitled “I Am Free”.  Read this week as our writers share how God has delivered them and set them free!

I am FREE from my past!

Dear God,

I have been hearing how people are so “blessed and highly favored” or “too blessed to be stressed” but Lord, I need to be real for a moment. I have been holding onto something and it is eating away at me. I am still mad that You birthed me to a crack head mother and a dead beat dad. I was probably a mistake and not even supposed to be here; I definitely could tell that I wasn’t wanted. I am still upset that You allowed my uncle to rape and molest me without coming to my rescue. How could You do this to me? All of this hurt and anger I have built up has made me to live a life full of mistakes, pain, and hurt. I made a mistake when I aborted those babies and I regret it every day. Are you punishing me, still? God, I am so sorry, but I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know who the father was. I am so upset with myself for disappointing You. On top of all of this, the one woman I did love and whom I considered my mother, you took her away from me too. So how can I walk around as if I am blessed and highly favored? I’m hurting; I’m sad, mad, and angry. I feel left out Lord…I thought You loved me. I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m lonely and sad. I’m depressed at the thought of not being loved by anyone. I stick out; I don’t fit in, why am I like this?

Love, Your Wounded Baby Girl

Dear Daughter,

I chose your mother as a vessel to be used by me. Before you were created in her womb I knew the plan for your life, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  I took my time to knit you together (Psalms 139:13). I was there, although grieved, when you were sacrificed and your virtue stripped from you. But I am also a God of restoration. I heal the brokenhearted and I tend to your wounds. (Psalm 147:3) I made a promise to you that I am with you always even to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:20) You say that you aren’t attractive, I say I made you in my image.(Genesis 1:27) I made you fearful and wonderful. (Psalms 139:14) I made your hair like lamb’s skin, your eyes like the sun, you lips full like ripened fruit, and your stature like the rolling hills. I made you on purpose, I made you like me…you are beautiful. My spirit was grieved when you aborted those babies and of course I also know of  your other wrong doings.  But remember that son I sacrificed? He shielded you with His blood and mercy and presented you to me faultless (Colossians 1:22) Walk in freedom my dear! Your earthly mother was my angel, she taught you how to fly, take care of yourself, and she showed you me. It was time for her to return so that you could do what I have for you to do. There are younger daughters that walk around in guilt and shame every day. Who can touch them but you? Who can show them that I can heal the wounded heart but you? Who can show them that a daughter of a crack head can be a Queen of Success, but you? My Son can plead on your behalf because He took on all sin. You can plead on someone else’s behalf because you have walked where they have walked. Don’t hold your victory, share your story to edify me that someone else, some hopeless little girl like you once were, can be saved. You were restored a long time ago, now walk in it. I love you.

Love, God

This letter was written from parts of my life and the various lives of women that I have encountered on my journey. As Christians we sometimes seem insane to believe and love a God that has allowed misfortune to happen to us. But what the devil meant for your bad, God will turn around for your good. Sister, know that God loves you and the triumphs we overcame are stalks of wisdom that can be used to heal and comfort someone else. And know this, all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). It takes time to heal, but in time you shall be healed.

Dear Daddy,

I know sometimes I get angry or ashamed of my past. “Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears. (Psalms 39:12)”. Teach me how to let go so that I can use what You have implanted in me for Your Glory and to help someone else. I know that you are a rewarder of those that diligently seek You. Heal my wounds, and if they are already healed, strengthen me to walk in your boldness with liberty. Help me to bless someone that needs me; keep my eyes and ears sensitive to her call. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today, EMPOWER yourself by sharing with God all of your angers, fears, and disappointments and TRUST that His word will not return void.  Psalms 6:9 reminds us “The Lord heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Start seeking to encourage and EMPOWER others that may be going through what you have OVERCOME. God has given you confirmation in His word that you are already restored and healed, for His word says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

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As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is a College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She and her husband serve as Co-Service leaders and Co-Group leaders of SustainedLove, which supports marriage get-a-ways from Family Life. Khalilah also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic four-year old daughter. They attend Vaughn Forest Church.  Check out Khalilah’s Christian weight loss blog here.

Growth/Maturity, I Am Free Series, Relationships

I Am Free: The Ultimate People Pleaser!

To commemorate our nation’s independence this week, we are featuring a series entitled “I Am Free”. Read this week as our writers share how God has delivered them and set them free!

I am FREE from people pleasing!

Growing up, I never wanted people to be mad at me so I always tried to be the peacemaker and peacekeeper. I was around people who were angry of all of the time and pretty irrational in their behavior so I would go out of my way to avoid their wrath. However, that did not work and it only gave me a bad case of the “People-Pleasing Syndrome.”

The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. (Proverbs 29:25 KJV)

Many times I would try to please people so much that I would sacrifice my own happiness and desires just to make them feel comfortable. I did not want people to be upset with me so I avoided confrontation. For those of you who know me, you are probably thinking that is NOT the Chanceé that I know; however, I have to be honest. My people pleasing was more evident in my relationships with men than in my friendships. I can recount the times when I knew that I was wronged or there was an issue that needed to be addressed but I would suppress the emotions because I did not want to make him “mad” with me.  I thought that if we didn’t argue or if I didn’t reveal my true feelings then we would have a happy relationship. I also let this carry over to my body by giving in to sex even when it was not my desire. Yes, I had a horrible case of the people-pleasing syndrome. It was unhealthy because it led to resentment and anger that would cause me to later explode. The stress, heartache and resulting emotional eating could have been avoided if I didn’t let my desire to please people consume me.

For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10 KJV)

Thank God for deliverance.  He revealed to me how my need to please people, particularly men, kept me out of right relationship with Him. I wasn’t being truthful and it caused me to give in to sin when that was not my desire. This doesn’t mean that now I am a firecracker and every time I disagree I explode. What it does mean is that I am now free to tactfully express my feelings and to say no and not fear the reaction. Now I take my own happiness into consideration when I make decisions. I can make sound decisions based on what I believe is right. Being a doormat is not an expression of love and in the end it does not win you favor with men or with God.

Examine yourself; are you more concerned with what people may say about you then doing the will of God? Do you sacrifice your own needs and desires because you don’t want to rattle the feathers of others? Have you given in to activity or avoided doing what you know may be right just because you didn’t want people to talk about you? Do you overpromise? Do you attract people who need to be rescued or consoled all the time? Do you avoid conflict and disagreements and rarely make decisions? If you can find yourself in any of these scenarios, you may suffer from the People Pleasing Syndrome too. Remember that it is not God’s will that any of us lead unhappy and unhealthy lives. We have to be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can only concern ourselves with pleasing God.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for freeing me from my people pleasing tendencies. Help me to assess situations and recognize if I am being disobedient to You and getting distracted from my journey by trying to please others. Grace me with the tact to express and handle disagreements without fear of the outcome. I trust that if I strive to please You in all that I do, You will work out each situation on my behalf. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!  

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to drop the added burden of people pleasing. It does not make you better. You will not win more friends nor will you save a relationship by being a doormat. In the end you will only end up upset and hurt. Seek direction from God and examine the root of your people pleasing so that you can live a more fruitful life and live in truth.

Are you a current or former sufferer of the People Pleasing Syndrome? How has it affected you? Share your story with us in the comments.

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Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Atlanta, Georgia and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Forgiveness, Growth/Maturity, I Am Free Series

I Am Free: Unforgiveness

To commemorate our nation’s independence this week, we are featuring a series entitled “I Am Free”. Read this week as our writers share how God has delivered them and set them free!

I am FREE from unforgiveness!

This past session of women’s Bible study at church was life changing for me. We had been reading and studying from The Resolution for Women by Patricia Shearer. One of the resolutions that really resonated with me was the resolution on forgiveness. During this time of study and fellowship with other sisters in Christ, I learned that I had become very angry and bitter because I was carrying around unforgiveness for someone who would not accept responsibility for harming my child. I was praying day in and day out asking God to heal my heart, protect my baby and to do what He needed to do in the lives of those that harmed my child so that they might have peace as well. What I didn’t realize until I began to study what the Word says about forgiveness is that what I was really praying for was revenge. I wanted those responsible for harming my child to experience a little pain; I wanted them to own up and acknowledge the wrong that was done. I felt that was owed to my baby and me. Yet it is not God’s desire for me to pray for revenge or handle things my way.

Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. (Romans 12:14 NIV)

One of the discussions we had during the study was about things that are deemed unforgivable. The list was pretty long: infidelity, false imprisonment, but “harm against my child” was mentioned over, and over again…and each time, I thought my feelings were validated. Once we got to the Word, I knew I was wrong again.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22 NIV)

After the second session, I picked up the phone and called the person that I was so angry and bitter with! Praise God! The Holy Spirit came over me and I have not felt better a day in my life! I forgave them, even though they had not acknowledged any wrong, and even apologized for anything I did or said offensively throughout the ordeal. His Word rings true each and every time if we will just stand on it! “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

What God put on my heart during those sessions were invaluable lessons:

1. It is not necessary for anybody to acknowledge wrongdoing for you to forgive them. See, when God is working on you He is working on those that have done you wrong as well, and as long as you focus on Him, He will take care of the rest.

…Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27 NIV)

2. Carrying around anger, bitterness and unforgiveness is only hurting you, not the other person(s). Forgiveness is part of the healing process for both parties, and you also will be forgiven.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV)

Dear Daddy,

I can not thank You enough for Your mercy, grace and peace! Thank You for setting me free from the bondage of unforgiveness! Please continue to lead me first to Your Word, before I become consumed with anger, bitterness or the thought of being able to forgive. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to forgive others as your Father continues to forgive you! Let go of the pain, hurt, anger, bitterness and sorrows you are carrying around because you are trying to win a battle that is not yours to fight! Lay your burdens down and give them to God!

Ask God who you need to forgive today? Free them and yourself today!

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Ms. Tiffany Huff is the devoted mother of two boys, a blogger, lover of food and travel, and aspiring entrepreneur with a passion for helping others live out their purposes. She is looking forward to growing in her walk and honoring God through sharing her EmpowerMoments. One of her meditation scriptures is Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”