Comfort, Grief

Grief Support

Your friend loses a parent to cancer. Your classmate loses a sister in a drowning accident. Your church member has a miscarriage. Your cousin loses her husband to a heart attack. Your coworker loses her son in a car accident. Many of you have likely had an experience exactly or similar to one of these examples. What do you do? Likely, you want to immediately offer some comfort to the person impacted whether by offering words of solace or doing a nice deed. But have you ever considered just letting the person grieve?woman-friends-grieving-consoling-mdn

Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days.  All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him. (Genesis 37:34-35 NIV)

The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over. (Deuteronomy 34:8 NIV)

These scriptures indicate that it takes time to grieve and that grief has a season. It is human nature to want to come to the rescue of those we love and care about even if the situation is something we can’t control or fix such as the death of a loved one. This EmpowerMoment is to encourage you to think before you act and to imagine yourself in the person’s shoes who you are attempting to help. Ask yourself, “would what I’m doing help me if I were in their situation?”

As Christians, we can quickly go into “bible mode” to “comfort” those in the throes of grief. We say things like “I know you loved her, but God loved her best” or “He’s no longer suffering, he’s with Jesus.” The list goes on and on. You may have heard it or you may have said it. The truth is depending on where the person is in the grief process those words are futile.

Having had significant experiences with tragedy and grief, here are a few helpful points:

1. It is ok to let a person grieve and it is ok for you to not try to “fix” it because you can’t. A lot of times silent presence is the best support you can give. You don’t have to fill the time with chatter and “comforting” words. Grieving a loved one is not something you can put a Band-Aid on and though the words coming out of your mouth make you feel better, it likely (at that time) has no impact on the person you are “comforting”.

2. Use the art of distraction. If you are searching for a way to help a grieving person, try taking them out to dinner or inviting them on an outing.

3. Provide them with resources for support such as books, support group information and bible verses without being pushy or overbearing. This allows them to look at the information at their own pace.

4. Let the griever lead the way. Let them set the pace for discussion. Let them cry if they want to cry, scream if they want to scream and so on while you be supportive and not try to quell the emotions.

5. Intercede on the griever’s behalf. This is probably the best and biggest way you can support the person and they don’t even have to know you are doing it. A lot of times the griever may have trouble praying through the despair or may be angry with God about what has happened. It is during these times that you keep them lifted and when they “come back around,” they are thankful.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV)

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for allowing me to comfort someone in need as they are grieving a loved one. Guide me to do what is most helpful for him or her. Allow me to be a vessel of strength, faith and prayer for them during this most difficult time. Help me to understand that even though I can’t bring back their loved one, You are sovereign and know the plans for all of us. Keep him or her in Your arms of protection and salvation as they go through this difficult time. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I EMPOWER you to reassess how you comfort those who grieving. I EMPOWER you to be patient with those who are grieving. I EMPOWER you to be the best support person you can be. Most of all, I EMPOWER you to keep the griever before the throne of Christ.

How can I be a better grief support person?

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Mrs. Coretta Collins is a wife and mother who enjoys reading, writing, movies and spending time with family and friends. She is avid about health, healing and helping which serves her well as a Family Nurse Practitioner in a hematology and oncology practice. Striving to be led by the Lord throughout life and having overcome significant challenges, her favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Coretta is a member of St. John A.M.E. Church, Birmingham, Alabama. She resides in Calera, Alabama with her awesome husband and two wonderful sons.

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Blessings, Comfort, God's Peace

The Definition of “Miracle”

mir·a·cle noun \mir-i-kəl\ :  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs  miracles

About a month ago, I shared the story of the battle that my 3-month-old baby was facing with her defective heart. (Read Not By My Own Might) If you recall, I was praying for a miraculous healing for my daughter. I wanted God to supernaturally close the hole in her heart so that surgery would not be necessary.  I believed in His power to divinely intervene because I read Biblical stories of Him raising the dead and healing the sick. I had even received two testimonies from modern day people who were in her same predicament and God, in His infinite wisdom, miraculously healed them. One day they had holes in their hearts requiring open heart surgery, the next day they didn’t. Surely if God did it for them, He would do it for me! After all, He is no respecter of persons and I’ve heard over and over again, “What He’s done for others, He will do for you!” I was confident that my miracle was coming and I was even more confident that I knew what my miracle was…

Last Monday, my baby girl underwent a four hour surgery to repair the defect in her heart.  In the days leading up to the surgery, I was receiving phone calls from concerned family and friends. The first question most of them asked was, “How are you holding up?” When I responded in a relaxed tone that I was doing great, they immediately thought I was masking how I truly felt, but I was sincerely OK. Honestly, I was also amazed at how calm I was. There was no anxiety, nor worry, or any negative vibe in my being; I was simply at peace! The morning of the surgery I thanked God for a successful procedure and once again prayed that He would be with the medical team as they worked on my baby. Everyone around me was calm and at peace. My family and I laughed and joked as we waited for the word that all was clear. We KNEW everything would be well and God made it well.

As I reflected on the events of the day later that evening, I was grateful for all that God had done in watching over her during surgery and ensuring that she came out with a healthy, functional heart. However, if I can be honest for just a moment, I had to question God. I wondered what happened to my miracle. I inquired of the Lord: “How come You didn’t miraculously close her hole like you did those other people?” “Why didn’t You show up just in the nick of time in the operating room and amaze the doctors as they discovered that surgery was no longer needed?” “Where was my miracle in all of this?” He didn’t chastise me for asking; He simply showed me the miracle. My miracle was allowing me to function in the midst of chaos. My miracle was inspiring those around me. My miracle was keeping my mind clear and my heart focused. My miracle was walking with me each day; I was just so caught up in what I thought a miracle should look like. My miracle was PEACE!

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

My miracle of peace was wrapped up in these two scriptures that I had been meditating on since the hole was discovered. I repeatedly shared with those around me that I was so peaceful about everything that I couldn’t even explain it. Only a perfect God could give me perfect peace which defies all laws of understanding. Based on the definition of ‘miracle’ above, God had indeed sent my miracle. Anytime you experience something that you cannot do in your own might, you have just been privy to a miracle!

My miracle testimony is to remind you that your miracles may not come how you believe they should. Don’t get so caught up in what Joan’s or Sharon’s miracles look like. Their miracles are simply to remind you that God is able to do it, but that doesn’t mean that He is going to do it the exact way He did it for them. God’s desire is to get the glory out of your situation and the miracle He delivers to you will do just that.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for the gift of miracles! You marvel me each and every day! Please forgive me for downplaying past miracles that You performed for me.  Remind me that miracles are not always dramatic happenings with flashes of lightening in the sky, but that any time You divinely intervene in my human affairs, a miracle has been performed. I thank You for past, present and future miracles in my life! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to seek God for your miracle. He is not a cookie cutter God who delivers miracles and blessings all the same way. The miracle that He has for your situation is just as unique as the miracle that you are!

Share your recent miracle or blessing with us today or what miracle are you seeking God for?

Read a related EM:  Are You Expecting?

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Mrs. Kristen Harris is a wife, mother, entrepreneur and dedicated servant. She is extremely passionate about women’s spiritual advancement, hence the founding of EmpowerMoments. As an avid reader, Kristen enjoys reading the Bible and other non-fiction pieces. Her driving inspiration is when God says to her: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) She currently resides outside of Chicago, Illinois with her wonderful husband and three lovely daughters where she is an active member of New Life Covenant Church.

Anxiety, Comfort, Pain, Prayer, Spirit of Fear, Stress, Trials, Worry

Speed Dial or Backup?

I had it all planned out, my EmpowerMoment about the Olympics, but alas it will have to wait for another day. As I drafted thoughts and intermittently checked Facebook, I noticed that I had a message. Nothing unusual, right? The person was asking me if I was indeed related to the person she was asking about. Since no details were in the message, I confirmed that the person was my brother but wondered why she was asking. It was as if my heart sunk before I got the answer. I was feeling like Diana Ross in The Wiz, “Don’t Nobody Bring Me No Bad News.” She said, “You need to call the hospital…” First I was angry because I had to find this out on Facebook and was upset that no one in my family called me, but as I spoke to them I realized that this incident just happened and they hadn’t yet made it to the hospital. I called several people but no one answered. I called the hospital, but they didn’t know anything. I immediately went into panic mode. Here I am hundreds of miles away and couldn’t do a single thing. I felt absolutely powerless.

Talking about it would make me feel better so I dialed and dialed but no one picked up. Why wasn’t anyone answering my phone calls? Exasperated, I decided well maybe I should talk to God.  The problem with this was instead of God being my first point of contact, I was making Him my alternative. Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. (Isaiah 55:6 NIV) Unlike me or any of the people that I was calling, God is omnipresent and omniscient. He had the ability to listen to my prayers and be with me while also taking care of my brother many miles away. What I didn’t know He already knew.  I took a moment to cry out to God about it and ask Him for healing, peace, comfort and intervention. I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah (Psalms 3:4 KJV)

Here I was with immediate access to Jesus. I didn’t have to go through a priest. I didn’t have to depend on anyone else because I know how to pray; yet, instead of using the main line, I was seeking comfort in others. My brother was ferociously attacked, but he is alive and for that I’m thankful.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

In our human nature it is easy to reach out to others instead of reaching up to God. He is never too busy to respond. As a matter of fact, He wants to hear from us. He yearns to be our source of comfort and relief if we would only turn to Him. You may find yourself in a similar situation. Things are going awry and you are busy dialing everyone’s number but your Heavenly Father’s. While He knows already, He still wants to hear from you. Your heart is anxious and you are worrying about a situation where you have no control. My situation involved a family member but yours may be career, kids, finances, relationships or addictions. Whatever the situation is, know that you don’t have to handle it alone. As the old song use to say, “Jesus on the main line, tell Him what you want. Call Him up and tell Him what you want.”

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for direct access. Lord, help me to remember that You are not my backup but to keep You on speed dial. I am grateful that You are an answerer of prayers and that when I call You hear me. Relieve my anxiety and provide strength in my weakness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today I EMPOWER you to simply make your requests known to God. Make calling Him your first priority. Put all of your trust and hope in Him and He will hear your prayers.

Has God had to remind you to seek Him first in times of trouble? Share your story with us.

Read a related EmpowerMoment: Come And Talk To Me

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Ms. Chancee` Lundy lives in Washington, DC and is an entrepreneur as she is the co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC, an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend and community servant. She has used her gift of public speaking to lead workshops across the globe speaking to crowds as large as 10,000 people. Her guiding scriptures this week are Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Comfort, Death, Encouragement, Forgiveness, God, God's Love, Love, Miscellaneous, Restoration

The Dress

This past week I pulled a dress out of my closet that had been hanging there for over three years. The reason it’s been in the closet so long is two-fold:

1. I had gained weight and not been able to fit the dress since I last wore it.

2. It was the dress I wore to the funeral of my first love, the father of my children.

At the beginning of this year, I decided that I was going to make my health a priority. As I made lifestyle changes, I started shedding the excess weight I’d been carrying around. Although I didn’t know where I would wear the dress next, I knew I would be able to wear it in a matter of time. When I took it out of the closet last week, I had no problem putting it on and it actually looked better than it had the first time I wore it! But it was bittersweet.

I was now going to wear the dress to the funeral of my nephew, my sister’s son.

One day last week, I was on my way to the mall to purchase the last outfit I would ever buy my nephew, the one he would go to his grave in. It was then that God began to speak to me about the dress. He told me that while I considered this dress as my ‘funeral dress’, it was a representative of so much more. Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV)

The black dress actually represents God’s love for me! He loves me so much that He has built me up and given me the strength to face the challenges of the black dress each and every time I have been confronted with them. When I had to bury the father of my children, God made sure that I stood strong, was able to love and comfort my children and recognize that even though I was hurting about how he was taken, I got better instead of bitter because of the love of God! When I had given up on myself and my desire to live a healthy lifestyle, was overpowered by the fear of gaining all the weight back again, there that black dress hung as a symbol of strength once again, reminding me that God loves me and will give me the strength to overcome the battle I have with my weight. On those mornings when I didn’t want to get up and do my workout, I could see that black dress; it stood out amongst all the clutter in the closet and I continued to push through.

As I was trying to mentally prepare myself to go back to the funeral home to make the final preparations for the homegoing service of my nephew—whom I will always remember as the snotty nosed little brother I never had, who I have lost so much sleep over this past week because of the way he was taken—I recognized once again that when it came time to step into that black dress and head to the funeral, the love of God would be all around me, holding me up and giving me the strength I needed to take each and every step that day!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for always being the strength that I need when I feel I have nothing more to give, say or do. Thank You for loving me through all of the good and bad times and assuring me that You will always be right by my side. I pray that when doubt begins to creep in, I will first look up and call on Your name because I know that I can do all things through You! In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Mighty ladies of God, today I EMPOWER you to embrace the strength that you have as an heir to the kingdom of your heavenly Father! Refuse to allow the doubt of people and situations to have any effect on that which you know to be true and continue to stand on His word!

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Ms. Tiffany Huff is the devoted mother of two boys, a blogger, lover of food and travel, and aspiring entrepreneur with a passion for helping others live out their purposes. She is looking forward to growing in her walk and honoring God through sharing her EmpowerMoments. One of her meditation scriptures is Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Abortion, Comfort, Death, Encouragement, God's Love, God's Mercy, God's Protection, I Am Free Series, Inspirational, Pain, Self Forgiveness, Spiritual Therapy, Throwback Thursdays, Trials

I Am Free: The Love Letter

It’s Throwback Thursday! Enjoy this blast from the past. To commemorate our nation’s independence this week, we are featuring a series entitled “I Am Free”.  Read this week as our writers share how God has delivered them and set them free!

I am FREE from my past!

Dear God,

I have been hearing how people are so “blessed and highly favored” or “too blessed to be stressed” but Lord, I need to be real for a moment. I have been holding onto something and it is eating away at me. I am still mad that You birthed me to a crack head mother and a dead beat dad. I was probably a mistake and not even supposed to be here; I definitely could tell that I wasn’t wanted. I am still upset that You allowed my uncle to rape and molest me without coming to my rescue. How could You do this to me? All of this hurt and anger I have built up has made me to live a life full of mistakes, pain, and hurt. I made a mistake when I aborted those babies and I regret it every day. Are you punishing me, still? God, I am so sorry, but I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know who the father was. I am so upset with myself for disappointing You. On top of all of this, the one woman I did love and whom I considered my mother, you took her away from me too. So how can I walk around as if I am blessed and highly favored? I’m hurting; I’m sad, mad, and angry. I feel left out Lord…I thought You loved me. I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m lonely and sad. I’m depressed at the thought of not being loved by anyone. I stick out; I don’t fit in, why am I like this?

Love, Your Wounded Baby Girl

Dear Daughter,

I chose your mother as a vessel to be used by me. Before you were created in her womb I knew the plan for your life, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  I took my time to knit you together (Psalms 139:13). I was there, although grieved, when you were sacrificed and your virtue stripped from you. But I am also a God of restoration. I heal the brokenhearted and I tend to your wounds. (Psalm 147:3) I made a promise to you that I am with you always even to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:20) You say that you aren’t attractive, I say I made you in my image.(Genesis 1:27) I made you fearful and wonderful. (Psalms 139:14) I made your hair like lamb’s skin, your eyes like the sun, you lips full like ripened fruit, and your stature like the rolling hills. I made you on purpose, I made you like me…you are beautiful. My spirit was grieved when you aborted those babies and of course I also know of  your other wrong doings.  But remember that son I sacrificed? He shielded you with His blood and mercy and presented you to me faultless (Colossians 1:22) Walk in freedom my dear! Your earthly mother was my angel, she taught you how to fly, take care of yourself, and she showed you me. It was time for her to return so that you could do what I have for you to do. There are younger daughters that walk around in guilt and shame every day. Who can touch them but you? Who can show them that I can heal the wounded heart but you? Who can show them that a daughter of a crack head can be a Queen of Success, but you? My Son can plead on your behalf because He took on all sin. You can plead on someone else’s behalf because you have walked where they have walked. Don’t hold your victory, share your story to edify me that someone else, some hopeless little girl like you once were, can be saved. You were restored a long time ago, now walk in it. I love you.

Love, God

This letter was written from parts of my life and the various lives of women that I have encountered on my journey. As Christians we sometimes seem insane to believe and love a God that has allowed misfortune to happen to us. But what the devil meant for your bad, God will turn around for your good. Sister, know that God loves you and the triumphs we overcame are stalks of wisdom that can be used to heal and comfort someone else. And know this, all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). It takes time to heal, but in time you shall be healed.

Dear Daddy,

I know sometimes I get angry or ashamed of my past. “Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears. (Psalms 39:12)”. Teach me how to let go so that I can use what You have implanted in me for Your Glory and to help someone else. I know that you are a rewarder of those that diligently seek You. Heal my wounds, and if they are already healed, strengthen me to walk in your boldness with liberty. Help me to bless someone that needs me; keep my eyes and ears sensitive to her call. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today, EMPOWER yourself by sharing with God all of your angers, fears, and disappointments and TRUST that His word will not return void.  Psalms 6:9 reminds us “The Lord heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Start seeking to encourage and EMPOWER others that may be going through what you have OVERCOME. God has given you confirmation in His word that you are already restored and healed, for His word says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

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As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is a College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She and her husband serve as Co-Service leaders and Co-Group leaders of SustainedLove, which supports marriage get-a-ways from Family Life. Khalilah also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic four-year old daughter. They attend Vaughn Forest Church.  Check out Khalilah’s Christian weight loss blog here.

Black Music Month Series, Comfort, Death, Grief, Spiritual Therapy

Not a Good-Bye, but a See You Later

June is Black Music Month! To celebrate, each of our EmpowerMoments will be based on Black music for the entire month. This includes Black songwriters, producers or performers. Stay tuned as we use various genres of Black music to tell our stories and exemplify the beauty of God’s love! Happy Black Music Month! Dance as if no one is watching!

Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow. (Psalm 144:4 NIV)

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky ’cause we will never say bye

Bye Bye by Mariah Carey

This past week I have learned that three young parents under the age of 30 have recently died.  Most of the deaths were unexpected.  At 25, I am not faced with the thought of death often.  So to experience death this many times for those who seemed to have so much life ahead of them has been difficult.  It makes me appreciate life more because we truly don’t know when our time is up.  One thing that brings me comfort is the fact that I know that these individuals died in Christ so I will see them again.

This EmpowerMoment is to encourage you ladies to remember each day you have here on Earth is a gift.  Do not waste time holding onto grudges or wait too long to reconnect with someone that has been on your mind.  I recall having seen one of the individuals that passed just a few months prior.  We talked about our children and how we should get together soon; unfortunately we never made the time to do so.  I admit my attention is spread pretty thin.  I am a full time single mother, part-time graduate student, full-time employee, but at the end of my life I doubt these will be the things that will catch my attention.  My relationships with others will be at the forefront of my mind.  I know this to be true because when one of these young women passed all I could think of was all the times I could have made more attempts to spend time with her.

She was a person with a sweet spirit who was always willing to help the less fortunate.  My friends and I have decided to do something for her young daughter and I made a promise to myself to call, write, text or see someone that has been put on my spirit.  I don’t want to have another regretful memory.

RIP LaChant Kelly, Mudi Mafemi and Peaches. Gone, but not forgotten. We will meet again!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for each day that You have given to me and my loved ones.  Forgive me for any time that I have not used my time and resources wisely.  Help me to be loving and kind to those around me so I may properly glorify Your name.  I ask for a special outpouring of Your Spirit for those currently grieving.  Give me the strength and courage to handle each task You have set before me.  Help me to not get caught up in the lie that I will always have more time.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to make each day the Lord has given you count. Go after dreams deferred, reconcile broken relationships, and take risks. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, but make sure you remember, “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

Please keep the families of LaChant Kelly, Mudi Mafemi and Peaches in your prayers.

Listen to Mariah Carey’s “Bye Bye”:

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Ms. Renee` N. Chaffin is a single mother who has a heart for helping those less fortunate. She has been active in the non-profit sector, whether through volunteerism or professionally, for the past six years.  She is passionate about sharing the love of God, her testimony and empowering people to discover their true potential that was bestowed on them by King of the Universe. Renee` is currently pursuing a Master’s in Public Administration. While on her pursuit of higher education, she is on a seven year journey to challenge God to do ‘exceedingly and abundantly above all she can imagine’ in seven areas over the next seven years. Check out her journey at http://radical7even.wordpress.com. Her favorite scripture is I Peter 5:6: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”

Comfort, Death, Encouragement, Grandparents, Grief, Inspirational, Spiritual Therapy

Death, Where is Your Sting?

Death can be something that takes your breath away, especially when it’s unexpected. Even though it’s a part of life and we all know it is an appointment that we cannot avoid or reschedule; it’s pain is like no other. Unfortunately, I experienced this last week. My Grandma passed unexpectedly while visiting someone out of town. Because it was unexpected, there was a surreal feeling that caused my mind to be in a zone for a week. It was as if my whole day would pass by and I couldn’t really tell you where it went or what happened. Then during the week, the Comforter (Holy Spirit), did His job that He does so well. He reminded me…

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4 KJV)

For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s. (Romans 14:8 KJV)

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.  This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:14-15 NLT)

I was encouraged to know that Holy Spirit will comfort me in this time, even in death we belong to the Lord, and Jesus faced grief before as well. God let me know through the Holy Spirit, He would help me get through this painful time if I allowed Him to. It’s nothing wrong with mourning; however, we have a choice to move on or park in it! I had a choice to dwell on my Grandma being gone or I could think about the things she taught me, the great times we shared together, or how much she has impacted the lives of others!

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8 NLT)

I take joy in thinking about how my Grandma influenced and impacted so many people in a positive manner. Everything said about her at her homegoing celebration told of how much of a servant, encourager, and selfless woman she was! I rejoice and thank God for allowing our paths to cross! Today, I’m better knowing and focusing on the great work she has done on the earth! Death doesn’t sting because I’m thinking of the lovely, admirable, and praise worthy things, not her absence!

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?  (1 Corinthians 15:55 NLT)

Dear Daddy,

I thank You that death does not have victory in my life because it did not have victory in Jesus’ life! I thank You for spiritual eyes to understand death is the beginning for those who are in You. So right now in the name of Jesus, I bind up the spirit of heaviness, grief, deep hurts, and sorrow. I loose peace, comfort, joy, praise, and healing! I rebuke any unclean thing that will cause my joy and peace to be stagnant or cause my heart to dwell in a state where I can’t receive Your healing and love! I thank You, Father, for divine healing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to release any past hurt, pain, sorrow, or grief from the past or present and walk in your healing TODAY! God was not caught off guard by what happened! He wants to heal and comfort you. I EMPOWER you to make a declaration today that you will allow the Holy Spirit to do His job!

In Loving Memory of My Grandma:

Esther M. Griffin
October 24, 1932 - April 23, 2012

If you’ve experienced grief or deep hurt, how did you move past it? Share your story to encourage others.

Read a related EmpowerMoment: No Grandmothers on Grandparents’ Day

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 Ms. Rodnisha L. Anderson resides in Chicago, IL and serves as an elder at Life Redeeming Ministries. She works diligently with the Singles and Intercessory ministries. She is married to the Lord and becomes whatever she needs to become to reach the people for the building of God’s kingdom. Rodnisha truly desires to witness successful single women thriving in the kingdom of God.  Her favorite scripture is 1 Timothy 4:12: “Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.”