Father/Daughter, Mother/Daughter, Self-Worth

Princess Status

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Romans 8:17 NIV

My husband and I were working on a project the other day – my daughter’s chandelier for her room. The reason why I wanted to go through the trouble of refinishing an old beat up chandelier to hang in a 6 year old’s room, was beyond his care for understanding. See, I have a princess, I actually have two. And while a decorated chandelier has absolutely nothing to do with their princess status, they have connection as an heir to the throne of God. So, I kind of like to play up that Princess theme, or maybe I am just addicted to Pinterest, but whatever.

Princess_crownAs I thought about my daughters’ princess status I was reminded of a comment one of my past boyfriends told me. We were leaving for our first date and my Mom yelled out the door, “Now you take care of my princess.” When we got in his car he immediately said or should I say smirked, “I can’t believe your Mom referred to you as a princess. What is she trying to do, set you up on a pedestal?” I should have ran right then (insert chuckle here); but, I didn’t. It was obvious he didn’t understand my worth. However, I facetiously stung back with a “you better recognize” type of response. As I played this scene through my mind the Lord said, “Make sure you teach your daughters that if a young man doesn’t have the potential to elevate them to a Queen, then he has no business dealing with them while they’re a princess.” Wow! I could not believe my ears. I immediately ran to my note pad to right that down!

IF HE CAN’T PROMOTE YOU TO A QUEEN, THEN HE HAS NO BUSINESS DEALING WITH A PRINCESS!!

I had to share this message. Not just for fellow mothers of girls, but to the princesses all over the world! For some reason (and it’s a good thing) girls get “goo goo” eyed for boys and then men, in the natural order of things. But we have to learn how to filter and discern the attributes of future Kings (or current ones depending on the stage in life when you meet him). The only way to discern this type of man is by hiding yourself in the bosom of God. God tells us in Psalm 37:23, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighted in his way.” Therefore, we can gauge if the boyfriends and men in our lives are good by the steps they take. His actions (and ours) should be humble, gentle, with patience, and bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). It is stated, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Ephesians 5:25 KJV We can gauge someone’s love for us by what they give, and I don’t mean the material things. I’m referring to time, honor, patience, a listening ear, encouragement, and so on. Is what he’s giving you enhancing you?

My message here, is that you are a Princess in the Kingdom of God. You are an heir to the throne. One who has potential to have worth far more than rubies, lacking nothing in value. You are a prized possession, thus why the Lord is jealous for you.

It’s interesting that God shared this “topic” with me because just the other day a few co-workers and I (don’t ask how we ended up here) were laughing at the names our mothers taught us to refer to our “golden gates” if you know what I mean. To my hysterical surprise, my mother’s term for it was a tad raunchy, I learned from sharing it with my girlfriends. So I adopted a new term, “clam shell”. Why do I like that term? Not only is it cute and can be clamped down (smile), freshwater clams produce natural pearls that are rare. Regular pearls are formed in oysters. In order to find a clam with a pearl, one must dig beneath the surface to find it. I heard a quote once that stated, “A women should be so embedded in the Word of God that the man designed for her must seek God first in order to find her.” So ladies and daughters, “Don’t waste what is Holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.” Matthew 7:6 NLT.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for giving us the gift of being a Mother. Whether by birth or by other means, You have given us the gift of molding the lives of younger girls and women. Lord I ask that You teach every girl that she is Your Princess and every woman waiting on her King (whether by marriage or waiting the realization that you are her King) that she is your Lady in Waiting. Lord may You cover her with a double portion of Your grace and anointing to stay fixed on you and satisfied; mentally, spiritually, and physically. Lord may You give all of us women, young and old, the knowledge that we were made fearfully; that our hair is designed as the crown You’ve place on our heads; our lips speak life and honey; our breasts are the very bosom in which we cultivate and nourish those gifts You give us; our wombs are designed to birth wisdom, power, and reflections of Your image; and that our stature is that of what You call woman, a prized possession, that You hold dear only giving over to those with blessed hands. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to act like a princess, an heir to the Kingdom of God. We are ALL God’s Princesses because our ultimate Daddy is the King of all Kings. And because of that, we remain safe in Him and our paths will remain straight.

How do you disconnect from those who don’t treat you like the Princess/Queen that they should?

___________________________________________________________________

As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is a university administrator. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV) Khalilah also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment. Her passion is mentoring young women and marriage empowerment. She resides in Orange Beach, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their two daughters. They are members of New Beginnings Christian Center in Foley, AL.

Anxiety, Father/Daughter, God's Protection, Pain, Stress, Trials, Worry

Daddy!

Daddy!!! A bone chilling scream reverberated throughout my room.  My sister who was visiting me on vacation awoke from her sleep and screamed out for our father.  My sister went on to explain that she was having a bad dream where an insect attacked her son, and she screamed for her daddy to save him.  My father was right there, but could not save her son. Last night I found myself involved in a similar situation where in my dreams I was screaming out for my daddy. I was being attacked by a group of men that were attempting to rape me. I could see my father but he could not save me.

This sequence of dreams made me think about how many times we have screamed out for our Daddy in the heavens to save us, but He could not.  Not that He is unable, because our God is capable of all things, but because it may be something that we are are going through that is necessary.  How do we react to our outcry for help when it goes unanswered?  “They looked for help, but no one came to their rescue. They even cried to the LORD, but he refused to answer.” (2 Samuel 22:42 NIV)

I evaluated the many times in my life that I have called on the Lord to rescue me from a particular situation only to realize that if He would have saved me there was a lesson that I may not have learned.  I have currently been going through a difficult time in my life with confronting frustrations, stress, uncertainty, and feeling overwhelmed. I went to church, fasted, read my Bible (a little bit), and was an avid tither. So where was the help I needed for peace of mind “As for me, I look to the LORD for help? I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear.” (Micah 7:7 NIV)

I was confident my Daddy heard my cry, so why oh Lord have I not felt any different? Frustrations continued to rise, stress gradually mounted and it seemed the only thing certain was my uncertainty.  I had to realize that just because God did not save me the way I think I should have been saved does not mean that He is not a present force in my life.  I cried out for my biological father to save me from being attacked because I could see him.  However, I have to call on my spiritual father to save me from these unseen attacks by the enemy!

Dear Daddy,

Please continue to save me from all the attacks from the enemy that I can see, and those that I cannot.  Give me an understanding heart to allow me to realize when I do not need to be saved through certain situations but learn how to go through them.  Thank You Daddy for blessing me even when I am close to giving up. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today I EMPOWER you to press on despite the way things look.  Your current pain will NOT compare to the magnitude of blessings that are around the corner.  Continue to call on Him and trust that He hears every word but the trial is a must!   

How do you remain encouraged even when it seems that God is not answering?

Read a related EmpowerMoment: Delayed Not Denied!

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Ms. Sherita Shelton currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee.  She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s in Professional Counseling and is currently pursuing her counseling license.  Sherita works as a therapist and case manager for children as well as adults.  She facilitates groups for single women and offers mentoring and individual counseling for her clients.  Sherita’s favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lot not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Father/Daughter, Forgiveness, Growth/Maturity, Love

Our Journey Symbolized Through Shoes

This past Christmas, my daddy sent me a pair of new boots. It wasn’t the shoes as much as it was the symbolism in his gift. They told the story of how far we had come.

And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us. (1 John 5:14 KJV)

As a little girl, I use to imagine what it would be like to have a father in my life. I used to pray and ask God to send him to me. In my mind, he would take me shopping and I would eat ice cream walking hand in hand with him. He would meet my boyfriend and admonish him before we went out on a date. I could talk to him about the unsettling confusing way of men and he would school me. All of these things were a part of the imagination of a little girl who wanted a “complete” family.  I would be “daddy’s girl.” Unfortunately, that is not the father that was in my life. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know him. At 17, I set out on a journey to find him and as God would have it, I met him for a brief moment when I was 18. To me it was awkward. We exchanged numbers but it would be years before I heard from him again.

Fast forward from 1998 to 2010, I decided that I would look for my dad one last time. I prayed about it and I told God that if I didn’t find him this time or he was unresponsive I would let it go. Besides, why did I have to do all of the work? I was his child so I griped, “He should be looking for me!” Through Facebook I found a cousin who got the ball rolling, although she gave me a word of caution about this journey…that maybe I should let it go. It sounded much like a letter I read in high school about my father where someone said that maybe I should “let sleeping dogs lie.” Was this person so bad that everyone felt the need to ring the alarm? It really didn’t matter what they said because I was prepared to give him a verbal lashing. Where have you been all of my life? Why this? Why that?

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24 KJV)

One call changed it all. I was sitting at work and my phone rang. My dad was on the other end. I was so caught off guard that I didn’t know what to say. The verbal lashing that I prepared went right out of the window and I chose to embrace him with a loving attitude and kind words. He apologized and didn’t make excuses. He went on to tell me of his drug addiction that spanned nearly thirty years. I instantly realized that God knew best. With the multitude of family challenges I had growing up, this was one that I didn’t need to endure. He told me that he was now clean and getting his life on the right track. A few months later I went to visit him and realized that I looked just like him. Since that time, we talk every week. I had to realize that our relationship is just that…ours. It’s not based on some romanticized view of a father but on what we have created. He can’t make up for the past thirty years, but we could start today and move forward. I enjoy our weekly conversations and I thank God for answered prayers.  I forgave him. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 KJV) 

When I received the package from him in the mail this Christmas, I was especially excited. In my thirty-one years of living, it was the FIRST thing that my dad ever bought me. I was excited and so was he. He bragged on his selection of shoes and talked on end about how he thought I would like them. Everyone knows that shoes are the way to a woman’s heart. These boots fit perfectly and they were that perfect shade of brown. My calf muscles are huge so I can’t wear knee boots; he picked ones that came just above the ankle. His thoughtfulness came through.

Our relationship is anything but ordinary; however, I am thankful that God answered the prayer of a little girl and worked in His perfect timing to bring this relationship to fruition.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for making my concerns Your own. Continue to guide my heart and my mouth and let my words be pleasant even when my mind wants to spew venom. Give me wisdom so that I know which relationships are worthy of building and those that I need to let go. In all things, let Your perfect will be done in my life in Your perfect timing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Today I EMPOWER you to have a heart of forgiveness and remain stedfast in praying for a relationship that you want God to heal. Remove the preconceived notions from your mind and allow God to design something that is unique to your situation. He is a God that answers prayers.  

Ms. Chancee` Lundy currently resides in Atlanta, GA and is a small business co-owner of Nspiregreen, LLC an environmental consulting firm. She is also a dedicated daughter, sister, friend, community servant, and child of God. She is passionate about causes that truly uplift the community. One of her favorite scriptures is Hebrews 11:6: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

Father/Daughter, God's Love, Growth/Maturity, Inspirational, Obedience, Relationships, Singleness, Soul Ties

Who’s Your Daddy?

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” (Romans 1:24-25 NIV)

It almost seems like yesterday when I met this fellow that “swooped” me off of my feet with his charm, just like my Dad. I became infatuated with this guy because he made me laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, just like my Dad. But there was something different about this relationship. After we talked for some time God spoke to me in my teen-aged bedroom, on the floor at the foot of my bed while cleaning out my closet. (God always speaks in the closet.) As I was lining up my colorful array of Nikes, He said, “Don’t make him your boyfriend.” I felt a lump in my throat as I picked up the phone that rang just after God’s command. Looking back, he never really “asked” me to be his lady. Instead, after a while of exclusive dating, I gave him my ultimatum of “I don’t do the casual relationship thing.” And boom, God’s words replayed again, “Don’t make him your boyfriend.”

This relationship was indeed unhealthy. I cried as much as I laughed. I felt guilty for dating him and knew that my relationship with God was severed. He gave me over to my sinful desires because I wouldn’t leave him alone. Due to this disobedience I strained and neglected my relationships with family and friends.

This relationship took me to a dark side. I was living a double life. I would spend all night with him being not so “righteous”, sneak home around 4 am and then head to choir rehearsal!! “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” (Revelation 3:16-17 NIV)

So why was I so into this dude? He took care of me just like a “Daddy”. He always put gas in my car, new Air Max on my feet, herring bone chains on my neck, and his ride was fly. He put 18” rims on his Lexus and a new sound system in mine. He affirmed my beauty constantly and always made me feel pretty!

During my Junior year in college the signs of an unequal yoke began to show. He was not supportive of my trying to go back to Christ. But I stayed with him because I “knew” I could change him. (I’m sure God is chuckling here).

After four years of walking on the dark side then slowly moving back to the light, the Holy Spirit tugged me. My Christian roots were not dead, but yet alive! I knew that not only did God still love me, but my assignment was changing. I needed to get moving in God’s direction. It took me two more years during this grueling process to break up with him. I kept falling back into the abyss of comfort, but every time God would light a fire in me and would force me to keep going!!

In 2003 at a Women’s Day celebration at my now home church, all of a sudden I started feeling shackles break off of my feet and my ankles. I cried, I screamed and I shouted; it was amazing I was set free! I had already released him, but in that moment God released me and birthed in me a fire to live for. He became my true Daddy. He was whom I called on when those single nights got rough. I cried at the foot of my bed at night and poured out my heart’s issues. He poured into me affirmations of beauty, strength to stay in the fight; he purified my spirit, and my life. He washed me with His love. I was now whole, healed, and completed.

It wasn’t until all of this that He showed and sealed me with the man that He had waiting all along, my husband.

Dear Daddy,

Words cannot express how grateful I am to know that You are my Daddy. How grateful I am to have been spared through my time of disobedience to You. I bless You for cleansing me and healing me to be the daughter that You have called for me to be. Keep me near You Lord. Continue to show me how to rely on You for those needs that can so easily be disguised as being filled by others. I love You. In Jesus’  Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you today to realize the “Daddy” in your life. Our boyfriends, fiancés, and even our husbands shouldn’t take God’s place. No one should ever have to compete with Him to be your Daddy. Who’s your Daddy?

As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6.  She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Huntsville, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter where they attend St. Luke Christian Church.

Black Music Month Series, Family, Father/Daughter, Love, Relationships

How Do You Measure Life?

One of the greatest things we can do in life is love someone else. The lyrics I chose this week exhibit that feeling and the outlook that we should have. They begin:

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure – Measure A Year?
In Daylights – In Sunsets, In Midnights – In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches – In Miles In Laughter – In Strife

In – Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?

How About Love?

Measure In Love

Seasons of Love Measure In Love

Seasons of Love

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38 NIV)

When you love others you are exercising the basic principle that God has taught us. For the bible says, “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:18 NIV) I know that we often find it hard to forgive people when they have wronged us: that father who walked out, that mother who wasn’t there, the family member who hurt us, the friend that betrayed us, or the lover that left a hole in our heart. When things like this happen we must bring ourselves to a point of forgiveness. Think about it like this:  We all have done something that is not pleasing to God and can you imagine Him taking His love away from us?

Joanne:
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Journeys To Plan
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life Of A Woman Or A Man

Collins:
In Truth That She Learned Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned Or The Way That She Died

All:
It’s Time Now – To Sing Out Though The Story Never Ends
Let’s Celebrate Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends

Remember the Love

Measure In Love

Joanne:
Oh you got to you got to remember the love,
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love.

With Father’s Day approaching this weekend I write this post in reference to three men in my life that I had to apply these lyrics to: my father, my brother, and my son’s father.

 

To my dad: I forgive you for everything that happened with you and my mom. I love you more than anything and I am grateful for being able to say I’m a “Daddy’s Girl”. In spite of your faults, you are one of my heroes!

To my brother Joey: I know that there is distance between us. Regardless of the distance, you have a large place in my heart. When I was little I wanted to be just like you. You were one of my heroes and you still are. The life you live has been an example for me. I love you forever and ever more!

To my son’s dad: We both went through a period of good, grief, and growth in our lives. I would not change anything. It made us both better people. You are truly a gift from God. I thank Him for choosing you to be Jalen’s dad. You are a wonderful man and I know that the life lessons you are teaching our son are God’s instructions through you. I will forever love you for simply being you!

Dear Daddy thank You for the ability to LOVE. I ask that You continue to share Your love with me so that I can spread love to others. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Today, I EMPOWER you to simply LOVE!

Celebrate Black Music Month with “Seasons of Love” (from the Rent musical) featuring Jesse Martin as Collins & Tracie Thomas as Joanne:

Win some Black Music this month! Check out our June contest here

Shawna Dix is a mother, educator, and all around child of God. She is passionate about God, her son Jalen, family, friends, and her students. She loves teaching because it allows her to shower our youth with love and guidance. She resides in Pentagon City, Virginia and works hard educating inner city youth in Washington DC. She prides herself in being a realist. She exclaims that she is in no way, shape, form, or fashion perfect but she has accepted that she serves a perfect God who is able to do ALL things!