Best of 2011 Series, Singleness

Best of 2011: #10 – Single in the City: Ready for Love

We are featuring our top EmpowerMoments of 2011. They made us laugh and they made us cry. They comforted us during troubled times and made us uncomfortable in our mess. But most important, they EMPOWERED us to be greater women all around! We are better wives, mothers, daughters, friends, servants and employees. We have been EMPOWERED to love harder, forgive more and listen better. We thank God for EmpowerMoments! Enjoy the Best of Series!

As I’ve stated twice before, one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever encountered was being a single, Christian woman but I never mentioned the hardest event to attend as a single woman…WEDDINGS!!  A few weeks ago a friend from college met his beautiful bride at the altar to exchange vows before God, family, and loved ones.  Truthfully, I was very happy for him but I could not help but to think about my future husband. 

Weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions but it is very easy to lose focus as a single guest.  As the ceremony commenced I was deeply involved in a dispute with God in my head.  I eagerly questioned God when was it going to be my turn?  Where is my husband?  When am I going to be able to start planning my dream wedding?  Why everyone else and not me? I desperately wanted God to know that I am READY FOR LOVE!!

Just as India Arie poured her heart out on the lyrics to that song, I poured my heart out to God.  The entire wedding was a bit much for me as my emotions were torn.  Eventually I put aside my feelings and decided to chime in on the celebration.  However, once the wedding was over and I was on my way home, I chose to have a real conversation with Jesus and not just a one-sided interview like before.

As I drove back to Nashville, He revealed something to me that was a slap in the face.  “And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting of Christ.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5 KJV)  It was at that moment that I realized that I can be READY for love forever but being patient for it is what God expects.  Since God knows the true desires of my heart, why was I questioning the arrival of my husband?  He is in control of the situation but clearly I have not let it go.  The real issue is that sometimes we have to surrender it over to Jesus and let it be while still having the patience to wait for Him to deliver on His promises. 

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for Your promises.  I know that what You have for me is for me but I pray for the patience to wait for it.  I understand that You have already worked it out but I ask that You help me to stay in position until it is released.  Lord, I pray for the obedience to surrender it to You and allow You to have Your way without question. I am READY for a lot of things but I pray for the patience to wait on my God to see me worthy of it.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, single or married, I encourage each of you to EMPOWER yourself and others to be patient in your situation.  Remember God created you so He personally knows your long lists of wants. He is just waiting for the opportunity to increase your territory but are you going to be patient enough to wait it out?   

Read a related EmpowerMoment: Single in the City 7: Ready with God

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17

Blessings, Encouragement, Inspirational, Singleness, Spirit of Loneliness

What do the lonely do at Christmas?

This was a popular song, but also a very legitimate question.  I have found myself asking myself this question as most people prepare to spend this joyous time of year with friends and loved ones I have struggled with feeling lost, sad, depressed, and lonely.  As the Christmas and New Year approaches it is also a difficult time for those who have lost loved ones, and have no one to spend the holiday with.  My grandmother died last year on Christmas Eve so this has brought about some feelings of sadness as well as loss. However, the Lord said, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 KJV).

I have also discovered during this difficult time of the year those of us that are single begin to focus on the depressing reality that we have gone another year without having somebody to share it with.

Isaiah 41:10 NKJV Fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The Lord will always be by your side and with you.  If you have no one else in your corner you can always count on God.  I speak about things that I am guilty of myself.  I go in and out of a lot of homes because I am a Case Manager.  During this season I found myself encountering negativity and depressed spirits in most of the homes that I entered.  I had to realize that I was in the midst of a spiritual warfare.  The devil wanted me to take the spirits home with me that I was encountering in my clients’ homes.  I realized that I needed to pray before entering those homes to ensure those spirits were not transferred onto me.

Even though many of you may not go in and out of homes the way I do we all encounter these same negative spirits on a daily basis.  These spirits may be in the form of co-workers, family, and even friends.  We may not always see these spirits because it has more to do with our own insecurities than others.  Someone may be simply discussing family plans.  We immediately begin to think about the family we loss.  They may be talking about their significant others and children and we see it as bragging or boasting.  We must not allow the spirit of jealousy and bitterness manifest in our lives.  We must know that Jesus is the Reason for the Season and we must never forget that.

Dear Daddy,

I come before You during this joyous as well as difficult time of year and ask for Your strength and spirit to be with us.  I pray that You will help us to remember that this is a time to focus on You and how You died for our sins.  This is not about how many presents we will get or how much we have.  This is a time to reflect on how much we can do for others and how blessed we are to be able to see another year in our right mind, good health, and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

I EMPOWER you to take this time to look at the many reasons you are blessed instead of allowing the negative spirits to make you look at what you don’t have.  Reflect on all the ways you have grown in the last years and the ways that would like for God to continue to manifest in your life.  I EMPOWER you in the New Year to EMPOWER someone else.  Show them what God has done in your life and what He can do in theirs.

Ms. Sherita Shelton currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee.  She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s in Professional Counseling and is currently pursuing her counseling license.  Sherita works as a therapist and case manager for children as well as adults.  She facilitates groups for single women and offers mentoring and individual counseling for her clients.  Sherita’s favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lot not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Career, Marriage, Prayer, Singleness

Is This What I REALLY Want?

I’ve had several personal requests before the Lord lately.  There are three specifically that God dealt with me about this week.   1) I want to be financially comfortable to the point that I am able to sow into other people and also help others in need 2) I want a challenge in my professional life 3)  I want the Lord to continue to keep me content in my season of singleness but PLEASE LORD PLEASE, only let it be a SEASON!!  My greatest desire is to be a wife and mother.

“…Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6 NIV)

God has really been dealing with me this week on these requests in particular.  First, I got a call from an acquaintance. He was telling me  about his latest financial shortcoming and I found myself rolling my eyes on the phone and thinking, Lord please don’t let him ask me for no money! RIGHT THERE, it hit me “Is this what I REALLY want?”

Second, I facilitated a professional development workshop and the saying is true that teachers are the WORST students! Again in my mind I said, “Oh they can have this foolishness!” RIGHT THERE again…“Is this what I REALLY want?”

Third, my married Godsister and I were talking and somehow we got on the subject of marriage.  She gave me a PROFOUND analogy of the reality of marriage.  That thing FLOORED me and when I got off the phone AGAIN…”Is this what I REALLY want?”

We have a habit of making requests to God and then having in our minds exactly how we want the answered prayer to look.  I want to personally like everyone God uses me to bless.   I don’t want to have to deal with the challenge of trying to motivate my colleagues; I want a challenge that I can achieve without having to deal with them.  Oh and yes, I want a husband and children but I don’t want to have to sacrifice anything or change my ways and habits.  We must understand God does NOT operate this way!

“…from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked…” (Luke 12:48b)

Much what? More of what you ask?  More PRAYER, More FASTING, More GRACE, More MERCY, More GIVING, More WARFARE!!!!  So for those of you who have requests before God I ask, “Is this what you REALLY want?”

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for granting me the privilege of making my requests known to You.  Help me submit to Your will even as I present the desires of my heart to You.  Give me wisdom, peace, and strength knowing that, “…You know the way that I take and when You have tested me, I will come forth as gold…” (Job 23:10 NIV) In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to TALK TO YOUR HEAVENLY DADDY!! Thank Him for all that He’s done, who He is, and who He has been in your life, but also BE HONEST with Him and make your requests known to Him.  But remember, “…To whom much is given, much is required..” (Philippians 4:6 KJV) and really ask yourself, “Is this what I REALLY want. Am I ready for what I’m asking for? “  I pray that your answer will be YES!!

Read a related EmpowerMoment: The Long Eyed Lesson

Ms. Katrina Richard is an up and coming professional residing in Chicago, Illinois.  She strives to incorporate knowledge and life-skills to teenagers in her profession as a high school history teacher.  Katrina is very active in her church community where she serves in the prayer ministry as well as in the nursery.  She has a passion for serving in the lesser known areas of ministry because she believes every facet of ministry is important to kingdom building and spiritual development of the believers. Her favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Patience, Single in the City Series, Singleness, Strength

Single in the City 7: Ready with God!

God recently blessed me with a job at my church home.  Working in ministry has been a totally different experience than the corporate world yet very fulfilling in more ways than one.  I believe that He strategically placed me there for several reasons, one of which made the perfect topic for this EmpowerMoment.

I must admit that the church office is filled with a GREAT array of man eye candy!  I work in close corners with dozens of men that fit my Christian dating criteria and to top it off they are OH SO HANDSOME.  I have found myself running home daily just to tell my cousin about all the good looking gems that I am surrounded by every afternoon.  It’s almost amazing to me to see so many established, successful black men working so diligently for the Lord! I LOVE it!

However, I must admit being single in this environment causes me to become a tad bit anxious as I wait for my husband to find me.  Just to clarify, I don’t intend to be the Jezebel of the congregation but this is just conformation that what I desire my mate to be and stand for does in fact exist. “Blessed is the man [woman] who preserves under trial, because when he has stood the test, he [she] will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)  Ladies, the truth of the matter is that I have to wait on God and have the faith that when the time is right He will do what He says.

Of course it is easy for me to say/write it, but the reality is that I feel that I am ready but apparently God knows otherwise.  So often we as single women just know we are ready to be married, have kids, and a house with a white picket fence but we have to trust that God knows best.  A lot of the time we are so focused on walking down the aisle that we find ourselves taking to relationships with men that we know are nothing like the man that God would have for us.  Well I am here to tell you that your Christian checklist was not written in vain. (See Single in the City 2  for all of the other stuff on your list!) There are plenty of eligible bachelors with those characteristics that you desire but it is NOT up to you to pick him out of the crowd.  For the Bible says, “It is not good for a man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18) It also tells us that “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22 NIV)

With that said, it is not for us to understand, for the God we serve has already appointed the day, time, and setting where you will cross paths with that certain mister that He made just for you.  So stop with all the questioning and just stand firm on the potter’s wheel and allow Him to continue molding you so that when He sends him you are completely ready! Ready with God that is!

Dear Daddy,

Continue to strengthen my faith in You as I wait for You to send me my mate.  Give me hope that he is out there, but most important, grant me patience to wait for him to come my way.  Help me to understand that You are simply preparing me for a loving and lasting relationship, and the work You have to do with me may take a while.  Keep my mind on You during the process.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single gals across the world, I EMPOWER you to REALLY wait on God to send your mate.  Stop talking about it and be about it!  Let Him have control over this and not just on those things that YOU feel are in need of His attention.  Instead, use that energy to get in position and get READY!

Read the entire series: Single in the City

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17

Encouragement, Finances, God's Promises, God's Provisons, Inspirational, Marriage, Singleness, Trusting God, Worry

All About the Benjamins

By my 30th birthday I wanted to be married or at least in a much fulfilled relationship, making at least 60k+ a year, driving my dream car, and pursuing my marketing dreams.  Yet, I’m not in a “titled” relationship, I’m making half of my dream salary, my car needs a much needed paint job, and I’m not working in marketing nor pursuing those dreams.  It really feels like I missed my mark when it comes to my heart’s desires.  I feel like I’m at a point in my life where my struggles should be non existent.  I should be the lender and not the borrower.  It would feel good for once to not have the order the cheapest item on the menu or always order water because I’m trying to save a dime.  It’s so bad I even do it on dates, trying to save them money!  I feel like nothing is right at 30 because my Benjamins are funny.

Two years ago I lost a very good paying job due to the economy and I started drowning.  Since then, I seem to not have reached dry land.  I used to have the best credit score but now I’m falling behind on bills and can’t seem to catch up. Yet I’m still positive; yet I’m still attending church; yet I still tithe (when I can) and I treat everyone right. But it’s still so very hard.  I look around at my circle of friends and see them doing big things and going places.  I can’t help but wonder when that will be me.  Did I cause this on myself?  Maybe it’s because I talked to that man or because I don’t pray every night on my knees or because I still drink socially.  Im left wondering what am I doing wrong that’s affecting my Benjamins.

I’ve started looking for a part time job, but how can I do that?  I have a full time job and I’m a full time mother and with no physical help from my son’s father, that idea is null and void.  I started to doubt myself and my situation from getting any better until one day I read Matthew 8: 23-27: And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him.  And behold, there’s arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep.  And they went and woke him saying. “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “why are you afraid o you of little faith?”  Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” (ESV)

I knew then that God knew I would be in this situation before the situation found me. Daniel 2:21 says,” He changes times and seasons.” (ESV)

I began to feel like David in Psalms 27:13, “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (ESV)

God has promised me so much and I’m standing on His promises.  On Oct. 13, 2011, the day I turned 30 years old, I didn’t have a marriage or a fulfilled relationship, but my son was alive and well. I wasn’t making 60k+ a year, but I had food on my table and a roof over my head. I wasn’t driving my dream car, but I didn’t have to walk wherever I wanted to go. I wasn’t pursuing my dreams of marketing, but I did have a job.  My Benjamins had nothing on that!

Jaden & I enjoying life!

Dear Daddy,

I love You and I thank You for mapping out my life.  You know what’s best for me and You know the destiny that’s mine.  Help me not to give up when my heart and mind gets weary.  Thank You for the hard times and when the good times come back around, only You will receive all my praises.  Strengthen my faith, for I know my best days are ahead of me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to not focus on the Benjamins for God is our resource that is never ending.  When it gets tough, always remember God is a rewarder to those that earnestly seek Him.  Much Love Ladies!

Ms. Hassanah White is a dedicated member of Faith Walkers Church in Birmingham, Alabama where their motto is to “Walk it out by Faith.”  She also serves as a member of the Praise Dance Ministry.  Hassanah is a true professional in the realm of marketing and customer service.  She’s a proud mother of a very energetic little boy named Jaden.  Hassanah believes laughter and prayer are the best medicines for any situation.  Her favorite scripture is Hebrews 11:6: “And without Faith it is impossible to please GOD, because anyone who comes to Him must BELIEVE that He exists and that He REWARDS those who earnestly seek Him.”

Growth/Maturity, Miscellaneous, Organization, Preparation, Singleness

In Preparation…It’s More Than Just Spiritual!

Like many saved, single, young women, I constantly profess to be “In Preparation!” I am putting myself in a position to get “CHOSE”…as the expression says!  I am constantly asking God to show me ME, seeking God to remove anything not like Him.  My constant prayer is that He clean me up spiritually and help me to let go of anything and anyone that is not connected to the destiny I have in Him.  I am involved in church; I keep myself busy at work and pursuing my personal interests.  I am doing everything the singles’ books say to do.  I am living a successful single life RIGHT?? I wish I could say yes but unfortunately I cannot.

While pursuing all these wonderful endeavors, I drive around in a messy car, work in a messy environment and live in a cluttered house.  It has become the running joke among my friends that I live out of my car.  My co-workers have justified my messy, paper-strewn classroom with statements like, “Well there’s REAL learning going on in there!”  OH and my house?! I reached the point where I justified the clutter by saying, “Well my kitchen and my bathroom are ALWAYS clean, and that is all that matters!”

God is a God of ORDER!!!  From the time of creation, God set everything up in divine order (See Genesis 1-2) Later on in the book of Leviticus, God set up the order of the church.  In the New Testament we are told, “…that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s spirit lives in you…”(I Corinthians 3:16 NIV) If God required order in the Old Testament church where His spirit dwelled, it makes sense that He would also require order from us today.

This order goes beyond the spiritual. While I was going after the things of God I was dismissing this simple but VERY important fact.  God also revealed to me that I was also holding up some things and divine connections that He has for me.  How do I connect you with this influential person and you let them come visit you in your messy classroom?  How can you drive up to a black tie event with papers strewn all in the backseat of your car?  Better still, how do I send you a mate and you have not learned how to organize a home yet?  “For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace!” (1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV)

This realization was a hard pill to swallow especially with how I portrayed myself to have it all together! I’m a woman of God, a prayer warrior, I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. etc. etc. blah blah blah!! However, I had to accept this truth about myself in order to move forward.  I have made a commitment to clean and organize my car, my classroom and my house.  Being in preparation for what God has for you, whatever it may be, is more than just getting your heart right!  Your habits and behavior must line up with where God is taking you. God must know that He can trust you and that you are ready.  God needs to be able to say,  “…You have been faithful over a few things…I will make you ruler over many…” (Matthew 25:21 NIV)

God said to me, if you are faithful in cooking, cleaning, and organizing when its just YOU, you let me know that if I bless you with a husband and children your home will be in order and your husband and children will be taken care of.  With the behavior that I displayed, my actions were telling God the exact opposite. I am on the road to being prepared for the next phase of my life, with not only a clean heart but a CLEAN HOUSE!!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for being a God of order.  Thank You for ordering our steps.  Thank You for knowing the plans You had for us even before we were born and knowing exactly how You were going to lead us to our destinies even before we took our first steps.  Thank You for always being a loving Father that not only convicts and corrects but also leads us in the right direction and remains with us as we go on our journey.  We ask that You continue to show us the areas in which we need to grow.  We bind laziness and we ask that You give us the strength and energy to do what we have to do to get and maintain clean and organized surroundings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Sisters I EMPOWER you today to clean and organize your surroundings:

1)    PRAY and ask God for guidance and wisdom as you start this process
2)    Trash and/or Recycle anything you do not need
3)    Break out the bucket and bleach, clean and disinfect
4)    Invest in organizational materials (file cabinets, bookshelves, storage bins etc.)  If you don’t know where to start www.lifeorganizers.com is a great resource; it has wonderful ideas that are also very inexpensive.

Ms. Katrina Richard is an up and coming professional residing in Chicago, IL.  She strives to incorporate knowledge and life-skills to teenagers in her profession as a high school history teacher.  Katrina is very active in her church community where she serves in the prayer ministry as well as in the nursery.  She has a passion for serving in the lesser known areas of ministry because she believes every facet of ministry is important to kingdom building and spiritual development of the believers. Her favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11 — “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God, God's Love, Relationships, Single in the City Series, Singleness, Spirit of Loneliness

Single in the City 6: The COLD Winter

As the winter months approach, as a single gal I seem to feel a bit of anxiety trying to surface.  I have found that colder days are a sure fire indicator of just how COLD my love life is.  In the spring and summer I can get out and about, embracing my single-hood for what it is.  During that time my girls and I are able to hit the town and never think twice about a man or the lack thereof.  But as soon as the first fall breeze blows, I yearn for the comfort of the opposite sex.   I have been single for two years and every time the weather changes my emotions get riled up.

Just talking with others I have concluded that this feeling is almost universal for single women every where.  Wintry weather has been coined the “boo” season because it is always better to stay inside and cuddle with a man, than fight the frigid temps alone.  Even worse, there are people who are fine with being single 75% of the year but when those few COLD months come around being single is no longer an option.  So that leads me to the question- are we desiring to store men like the animals in the forest store food for the winter?  If so, how will we ever break ourselves of this habit?

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV) The bible makes it simple in saying that when those feelings of loneliness show up we are to hand it over to God.  Of course that is easier said than done but the reality is that God really is waiting on us to catch up and hand it over to Him.  Even David had to take a pause for the cause to cry out to the Lord in Psalms 25:14- “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” (NIV)

The problem with most of us single women (myself included) is that we prefer to cry on the shoulder of a man rather than cry out to God.  Ladies, being a single Christian truly is a daunting task but rejoicing in the promises of God is effortless.  We must remember to rely on God in all areas, even our love lives.  God is not restricted to church affairs, but instead we should incorporate Him into everything.

Dear Daddy,

Forgive me for the times that I chose a man in the natural rather than communing with You in the spirit.  Please help me to remember to cry out to You whenever I feel lonely.  I know that these next few months will be even harder and I ask that You continue to console me.  Whenever I think about finding comfort elsewhere, remind me who I am in You!  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single ladies across the world, I EMPOWER to spend the winter with Jesus!  When it gets cold outside, wrap yourself in the Word of God and before you know it spring will be in the air! Be Blessed! 🙂

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17

God's Love, Inspirational, Miscellaneous, Motivation, Relationships, Single in the City Series, Singleness, Strength

Single in the City 5: Weak in My Knees

I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak.
I lose all control and something takes over me.
In a daze, your love’s so amazing, it’s not a phase.
I want you to stay with me, by my side.
I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet.
It knocks me right off of my feet.
I can’t explain why your loving makes me weak.

(Lyrics from SWV’s “Weak”)

Since last month’s entry I have been speaking to several single Christian women, both family and friends.  I realized that although situations were different there was one common factor…problems with MEN!  From there I was intrigued to dig a little deeper and find out the real source of this epidemic.  It became apparent that each of us has had one or more members of the opposite sex that we had fallen weak for.

When speaking of weaknesses the mind will usually wander to that addiction to the morning cup of coffee or late night chocolate cravings but contrary to popular belief, weaknesses can come in human form!  With that said, when I refer to weakness I’m talking about that one guy that you LOVED unconditionally, no matter what.  Some of us have been with a person that was physically, verbally, and/or emotionally abusive and could not figure out exactly what the attraction was. 

Well ladies, my research has concluded that we have lost sight as to where our strength really comes from. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV) Many of us are guilty of holding on to toxic relationships without the courage to leave.  The reason is that we have put that individual before God.  If we all just took a moment to look over that relationship’s timeline, I am certain that there is a second in history that we put him over HIM.  So not only did we choose to love him more than HIM, but more than ourselves as well.  However, the Bible reassures us that the grace Jesus gives us is more than enough to overcome any situation that arises!  We must realize that whatever empty voids that we are trying to fill by staying in such harmful circumstances, God is ready to give us the strength to endure and triumph.  Therefore, weakness is not an option for a child of God like you!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for highlighting my weaknesses especially when they cause me to lose sight of the love You have for me.  I pray that You continue to help me fill the empty holes with Your grace so that I may find the inner strength that You birthed inside me.  Lord, remind me daily that weakness is not an option for a kingdom builder!  I have great work to do for You and I must not let anyone cause me to lose focus of that.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I ask that you EMPOWER yourself to let that weakness go!  Anyone or anything that is causing you to put God second is not worth LOVING!! Love on God more!  Be Blessed! 🙂    

 To read the whole Single in the City Series, click here. 

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17

Father/Daughter, God's Love, Growth/Maturity, Inspirational, Obedience, Relationships, Singleness, Soul Ties

Who’s Your Daddy?

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” (Romans 1:24-25 NIV)

It almost seems like yesterday when I met this fellow that “swooped” me off of my feet with his charm, just like my Dad. I became infatuated with this guy because he made me laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, just like my Dad. But there was something different about this relationship. After we talked for some time God spoke to me in my teen-aged bedroom, on the floor at the foot of my bed while cleaning out my closet. (God always speaks in the closet.) As I was lining up my colorful array of Nikes, He said, “Don’t make him your boyfriend.” I felt a lump in my throat as I picked up the phone that rang just after God’s command. Looking back, he never really “asked” me to be his lady. Instead, after a while of exclusive dating, I gave him my ultimatum of “I don’t do the casual relationship thing.” And boom, God’s words replayed again, “Don’t make him your boyfriend.”

This relationship was indeed unhealthy. I cried as much as I laughed. I felt guilty for dating him and knew that my relationship with God was severed. He gave me over to my sinful desires because I wouldn’t leave him alone. Due to this disobedience I strained and neglected my relationships with family and friends.

This relationship took me to a dark side. I was living a double life. I would spend all night with him being not so “righteous”, sneak home around 4 am and then head to choir rehearsal!! “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” (Revelation 3:16-17 NIV)

So why was I so into this dude? He took care of me just like a “Daddy”. He always put gas in my car, new Air Max on my feet, herring bone chains on my neck, and his ride was fly. He put 18” rims on his Lexus and a new sound system in mine. He affirmed my beauty constantly and always made me feel pretty!

During my Junior year in college the signs of an unequal yoke began to show. He was not supportive of my trying to go back to Christ. But I stayed with him because I “knew” I could change him. (I’m sure God is chuckling here).

After four years of walking on the dark side then slowly moving back to the light, the Holy Spirit tugged me. My Christian roots were not dead, but yet alive! I knew that not only did God still love me, but my assignment was changing. I needed to get moving in God’s direction. It took me two more years during this grueling process to break up with him. I kept falling back into the abyss of comfort, but every time God would light a fire in me and would force me to keep going!!

In 2003 at a Women’s Day celebration at my now home church, all of a sudden I started feeling shackles break off of my feet and my ankles. I cried, I screamed and I shouted; it was amazing I was set free! I had already released him, but in that moment God released me and birthed in me a fire to live for. He became my true Daddy. He was whom I called on when those single nights got rough. I cried at the foot of my bed at night and poured out my heart’s issues. He poured into me affirmations of beauty, strength to stay in the fight; he purified my spirit, and my life. He washed me with His love. I was now whole, healed, and completed.

It wasn’t until all of this that He showed and sealed me with the man that He had waiting all along, my husband.

Dear Daddy,

Words cannot express how grateful I am to know that You are my Daddy. How grateful I am to have been spared through my time of disobedience to You. I bless You for cleansing me and healing me to be the daughter that You have called for me to be. Keep me near You Lord. Continue to show me how to rely on You for those needs that can so easily be disguised as being filled by others. I love You. In Jesus’  Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you today to realize the “Daddy” in your life. Our boyfriends, fiancés, and even our husbands shouldn’t take God’s place. No one should ever have to compete with Him to be your Daddy. Who’s your Daddy?

As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6.  She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Huntsville, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter where they attend St. Luke Christian Church.

Fasting, Forgiveness, Growth/Maturity, Prayer, Relationships, Single in the City Series, Singleness

Single In The City 4: The Test

A few weeks back I decided to embark on a fast, hoping that my sacrifice would open the door for God to reveal things about MYSELF that I may not be aware of.  Over the course of four days I prayed intensely, praised His name radically, and poured out my heart in an effort to find out about the real me.  During that time God showed me a few surface characteristics but the real discovery was yet to come.

Days after I returned to my regular scheduled eating routine, I received a friend request from a person I had pushed to the wayside years ago.  I received a simple “Hello” from a man that I had written off the day he broke my heart and kept it moving to the next chick.  This man that I had not seen or heard from in years managed to find me on this social networking site and instantly I remembered ALL the bad things that transpired between us when we were younger.  However, something inside of me told me to be cordial and accept the friend request. In reality, I really just wanted him to look at my pictures and know that I was the best thing he NEVER had!  Much to my surprise it was actually quite refreshing talking to him again; so much that I agreed to meet with him during my upcoming trip to Chicago.

“On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” (Romans 12:20 NIV) I was not aware of this man’s intent at that time but I was determined to be obedient to the word of God.  BUT…when I laid eyes on him the first thing I thought to do was re-hash all the drama to get closure for myself.  I tried to stop but the questions and sarcasm kept slipping out.  The crazy thing is he just wanted to apologize for everything and of course see if he still had a chance. NOT!

One of my best friends told me to pray prior to this reunion; luckily, I took her advice because what God had to say was astounding. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25-NIV) I dated this guy as a teen and I never would have thought that I was STILL upset with him at 25.  Instead of me dealing with the situation back then I decided to just change my number and never look back. Although that seemed to ease my heartache, I would have never imagined that it put a wedge between me and my true love- Jesus.  I had convinced myself that I forgave him when I cut off contact but clearly my emotions were bottled up, until this encounter.

Ladies, there is no reason to bury feelings because God will bring them to the surface at random times.  Your best bet is to forgive ASAP because you never know how many blessings you miss harboring unknown negativity.  Ironically, after signing our peace treaty I have yet to hear from him. I believe I passed the test this time for sure. I accepted the facebook request but more important, I sincerely accepted his apology.

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for revealing repressed feelings to me.  There are so many ways the enemy attacks that I may not catch them all but You are there to get me back on track.  Lord, thank You for being my magnifying lens and focusing in on things that drive a wedge between us.  I am far from perfect but You still love me! I pray for the ability to forgive and the strength to do so no matter what just as You have done for me so many times before.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

I challenge you to take a moment and EMPOWER yourself to forgive all of it… all the pain, confusion, misunderstanding, heart breaks, turmoil, and stress caused by others! If Jesus can do it daily with each of us, I know we are just as capable!!!  Be Blessed Ladies!!!

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17.