Fornication, Marriage, Sex, Sin, Singleness, Soul Ties

No Forno

Does God ever tell you to do something and you just keep putting it off because you really don’t want to do it? Well, today’s EmpowerMoment is just that. He told me a couple of months ago to write this and I didn’t feel like everything that was going to come along with it: transparency, in-depth studying, and intense spiritual warfare. But today I surrender…

A while ago I was having a conversation with a very close friend, who happens to be single. We were talking of her struggles of remaining celibate and how those around her weren’t struggling at all because they had taken on an “I can do what I want to” attitude. Deep into our conversation we made a thought-provoking discovery – We had often been told not to engage in pre-marital sex, but no one ever really explained to us WHY we shouldn’t. Yes, the WHY was simply because God said so, but for so many of us who have the “I can do what I want to” attitude, that WHY just doesn’t cut it.  Oftentimes, we like to think that God put a rule in place to withhold something good from us. However, the truth of the matter is that God’s ordinances are in place to withhold the bad ‘somethings’ from us. Let’s take a look at exactly what I mean…

WHY He said NO FORNO:

  • Every time we engage with a new partner, our souls become tied with the soul of that person. Imagine tying your shoe string. You may put a double knot in it to keep it from coming undone easily. If you tie it into a third knot, it just became harder to undo. When there’s a fourth knot, you may just have a permanent mess on your hands that will have to be cut and/or damaged to take apart. The same is true of our souls. Some of us have created quite a mess of knots . The only way to undo soul ties is to BREAK them and at the site of the break, a mending and re-growth must occur. Yes, they can be undone, but the process is often a painful one. God knew how painful it could be, and He didn’t want you to experience that. That’s WHY He said no sex before marriage. He intended ONE knot to be made between a husband, wife and Him. “…for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT)

         (For more on soul ties, see Ain’t No Feeling Like… )

  • When we have sex with someone who is not our husband, we strike a deal with the devil that we cannot make good on.Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV) Every time we engage in any type of sinful behavior, we strike a deal with satan. We let him know that at this precise moment, I feel like playing on your turf. The sad thing, however, is there is  a huge price to play on the enemy’s side.  The devil knows that your soul could never be his so he comes after your body. The problem is when you give into temptation, you’ve just made a wager with a possession that doesn’t even belong to you. You cannot make good on your exchange because you have nothing to give. Your body is not yours! And what happens when somebody owes you something and they don’t make good on their end? You torment them until they give in. The enemy torments you with feelings of guilt, shame, condemnation, low self-esteem, etc with hopes that you cave in. Yes, we have power over the enemy and we can cancel his attacks in Jesus’ name, but the consequences of our behavior can be very painful.  God knew how painful it could be and He didn’t want you to experience that. That’s WHY He said no sex before marriage!
  • Our present actions affect our future blessings.Your wickedness has deprived you of these wonderful blessings. Your sin has robbed you of all these good things.” (Jeremiah 5:25) Yes, your sinful lifestyle can hinder some blessings from coming your way, but it goes much deeper than that. Most of the single women reading this desire to be married. As a married woman, who used to fornicate, let me be 100% honest with you. That lifestyle affects your marriage. You bring demons (i.e. the people you slept with) into your marriage and until you have the courage and ability to renounce and slay every wicked thing that is seeking to destroy you, you will not enjoy the fullness of marriage as God intended. Those demons affect your sex life with your husband, they torment you with guilt and shame, and even make you second guess  your worthiness to be married. They literally rob you of the blessing of marriage that God gave you. And let’s not forget the demons that your husband may bring. Your warfare as a married couple is intensified due to your previous actions. Again, your story does not have to end here, as you have been given power to tread on the enemy’s head. However, the process to restoration can be a painful one for both you and your spouse. God knew just how painful it could be and He didn’t want you to experience that. That’s WHY He said no sex before marriage.

You see, God isn’t trying to keep us from having a good time; He has boundaries in place to ensure that we are protected at all times. After all, “every good and perfect gift is from above…” (James 1:17 NIV) And I am sure we all can agree that sex qualifies as GOOD! 😉

Dear Daddy,

Please forgive me for sinning against Your Word and engaging in sex outside the confines of marriage. I admit that it is not easy for me to stop, but with You and through Your power, I can do this! Please give me the desire to want to stop fornicating, and then give me the courage and power to put that desire into action. Help me to break any soul ties that my careless behavior has formed. Please heal my heart and soul from any damage caused by sinful acts. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, today I EMPOWER you to embrace a NO FORNO lifestyle. Is it easy? Absolutely not! Can you do it? Absolutely! God is waiting for you to surrender it over to Him.

Are you on a celibacy journey? Share your triumphs below so that other women may be encouraged.

Join the No Forno movement by clicking here.

________________________________________________________________________

 Mrs. Kristen Harris is a wife, mother, entrepreneur and dedicated servant.  She is extremely passionate about women’s spiritual advancement, hence the founding of EmpowerMoments.  As an avid reader, Kristen enjoys reading the Bible and other non-fiction pieces. Her driving inspiration is when God says to her: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11) She currently resides outside of Chicago, Illinois with her wonderful husband and two lovely daughters where she is an active member of New Life Covenant Church.

Relationships, Self Love, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, She is Me Series, Soul Ties

She is Me: Queen Vashti

In honor of National Women’s History Month, EmpowerMoments is featuring a special series called ‘She is Me’.  Each writer will parallel her own life with that of a Biblical woman to enlighten and EMPOWER youCheers to being a WOMAN!

A Red Flag is a Red Flag!

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” Matthew 16:26 ESV

I wanted to better myself by going to college, but he laughed and thought it was crazy to venture from home to go to school. He would often say, “All you do is go to school; you can’t learn common sense in school.” He didn’t support me. RED FLAG!

I decided I wanted to live for Christ. I increased my activities at church, strengthened my prayer life and decided to go to church on more weekends than to travel home to be with him. He joked about me going to church and mocked God. He said I was wasting my time. He didn’t respect my virtue. RED FLAG!

All of our time together caused me to come home closer to the next day, opposed to the end of the previous one. I disrespected my mother, my morals, and all that I knew because of him. He did not care that I was torn because I was going against what I knew was right. I felt like a concubine. He disregarded my family’s wishes. RED FLAG!

We went to his friend’s house one weekend and he wanted to display that his girlfriend could roll blunts and smoke them. I was embarrassed, devastated, degraded, and annoyed. He did not see my value. RED FLAG!

I sit back now and see all of the red flags that I ignored. So this is what he thought of me? That I could roll a blunt for his friends and smoke it with the best of them? He didn’t even care enough to respect my mother, my morals and what I stood for. But he had fat pockets, a nice car, a job, awesome rims, and a place that he owned. Would I be willing to give all of that up just to save my dignity? Just to save face? What if I never find a man to love me? What will happen if I stand up to him and actually leave him? What about all that I was in line for– his money, a ride in his fancy car, and a secure life?

I wonder if this is what Queen Vashti was thinking when she denied King Xerxes. See, Queen Vashti had it all. She had beauty, she was sociable, and quite frankly she and King Xerxes were a power couple. But one night, she had enough. Here’s the story: At that time King Xerxes reigned from his royal throne in the citadel of Susa, and in the third year of his reign he gave a banquet for all his nobles and officials. The military leaders of Persia and Media, the princes, and the nobles of the provinces were present.  For a full 180 days he displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty. When these days were over, the king gave a banquet, lasting seven days, in the enclosed garden of the king’s palace, for all the people from the least to the greatest who were in the citadel of Susa. Queen Vashti also gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes. On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar and Karkas— to bring before him Queen Vashti, wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles, for she was lovely to look at. But when the attendants delivered the king’s command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Esther 1:2-5, 9-12 NIV

There is much speculation as to why Queen Vashti refused to come. But read the scripture; the King was drunk and he wanted to display her beauty in front of him and his friends. She must have felt degraded. She is not mentioned much more throughout this book, but her action showed great strength. She chose her dignity over the law and chose to preserve her self-worth over her husband’s ego. The King disposed her as Queen and chose to find a replacement.

What I find interesting is the King never realized that she was being degraded and instead of trying to preserve what he felt was beautiful, he swapped her for a replacement. And guess what, when I stood for what was right I was replaced too. I don’t know much about my replacement, but I do know that I left with grace, my pride, and my self worth.

Dear Daddy,

Sometimes we think we have it all and are scared to remove ourselves from what we think is abundance and choose to suffer our self-worth instead. Help us to always remember our worth, to see the red flags and to deal with them in the way we should. Help us to stand as Godly women, never giving up our dignity. Help us to walk as women of God instead of for a man that can’t see the jewel that we are. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to understand your self worth. A red flag is a red flag! The banquet was probably not Vashti’s first sign of a red flag. I encourage you not to wait until he’s your husband to start recognizing the red flags. My view is not to promote divorce, as I was actually not in a marriage. I was in a soul-tied relationship that did not promote the God in me, and because of that I had to go!

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As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV) She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Millbrook, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter. They attend St. Luke Christian ChurchCheck out Khalilah’s Christian weight loss blog here.

Relationships, Sex, Singleness, Soul Ties

Are You Settling?

In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!” Isaiah 4:1 NIV

As a single woman, I think it is imperative to do self-assessments, especially when you keep having troubled relationship experiences. Like the women in Isaiah’s time, what are you willing to provide in order for this man to “take away your disgrace”? Look at that text carefully; seven women will take hold of one man. Are you currently in a “relationship” with a man that you know is sleeping with or has several other women?? Let’s be real. We all know the “main chick” attitude. You know exactly what I mean: “Well, as long as he comes home to me, it doesn’t matter who he is out with.”  Even worse, are you in a non-relationship “relationship”? The relationship where a man is getting all the benefits (you know what I’m talking about), yet he won’t even give you the girlfriend title, not to mention the wife moniker?

Let me tell you a secret: I have been that woman, the woman I said I would never be. You know the woman who is in a relationship with a man, but it’s all in her own head. I thought a woman had to be the most gullible chick in the world to ever entertain such a thought. That is, until I became her. We all have been there, caught up in lust masquerading as love. And maybe for you it has developed into love, but for him it is still lust.

This is why God tells us in His Word, “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (I Corinthians 7:2-3 NIV). Sex is meant to bond you to a man. If you are not his wife, you are setting yourself up for heartache.  

Women of God, you are beautiful, you are matchless. The God of Heaven and Earth sacrificed His Son for you. He pursues you with an everlasting love. Why are you giving yourself to a man that does not value who you are? You are a princess from a line of royalty. You must not live like the unsaved women of the world. Do not sacrifice your spirit for a temporary situation. If that man is using you up and he is not planning (and showing action) of sharing a future with you, then why are you staying? 

If you are in a “relationship”, that has you stressed, worried, crying, and depressed, leave! And like the angel told Lot and His family “DON’T look back”.  As the writer in Song of Solomon cautions: Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires (Song Of Solomon 8:4 NIV). Don’t rush into a relationship or a so-called “relationship” because you no longer want to be single. Be patient and let God provide.  Don’t settle for less than what God has promised you!

Dear Daddy,

Please forgive me for losing focus of Your place in my life. Help me to do as Your Word says and, “Above all else guard my heart, for it is the well spring of life. (Proverbs 4:23) I thank You in advance for hearing and working on my behalf. Help me to show Your Love to other women who find themselves in this situation. Help me to not judge them Lord, but pray for wisdom, peace and Your perfect love in their lives. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Lovely Ladies of God, I EMPOWER you to take back your life from those who mean you no good. Ask the Lover of your Soul to heal and mend your broken heart. Even after years of settling, you can move on; you don’t have to look like the hell he’s put you through!

Ms. Renee` N. Chaffin is a single mother who has a heart for helping those less fortunate. She has been active in the non-profit sector, whether through volunteerism or professionally, for the past six years.  She is passionate about sharing the love of God, her testimony and empowering people to discover their true potential that was bestowed on them by King of the Universe. Renee` is currently pursuing a Master’s in Public Administration. While on her pursuit of higher education, she is on a seven year journey to challenge God to do ‘exceedingly and abundantly above all she can imagine’ in seven areas over the next seven years. Check out her journey at http://radical7even.wordpress.com. Her favorite scripture is I Peter 5:6: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”

Obedience, Soul Ties, Submission/Surrendering, Trusting God

Let It Go!

As I was attempting to write my EmpowerMoment, I was sitting on my couch and my daughter started crying. When my child is upset and I am trying to figure out what is wrong I tend to become upset as well because I am the lioness and she is my cub. After she finally calmed down she told me, “I don’t want to leave my daycare behind. I don’t want to leave her Mommy.” So I said, “You are a big girl and it is time to go to school.” She replied, “No, Mom. She said she will never see me again and that I won’t like my new school.” 

My baby has been at a home daycare for about three years and of course she has become attached to her provider. She will be turning five in two months and it’s time to let her explore the world. I am sure that her daycare provider is attached to her as well but there comes a time when even young children have to say good-bye. I was about to become agitated about her having that conversation with my daughter because I felt that she should have been encouraging her about starting a new school. However, instead of getting mad I thought about Philippians 3: 12-14. “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

I told my baby that her new school is a new opportunity where she will expand her knowledge base. I also explained that in her new school she will learn a new language, have dance class and go on many educational field trips. I told her that sometimes we have to let go of the old things in order to get what God has for us.

That little scenario sparked a fire in me because I thought about how often I sit and think about what I used to be and how far I have come. It made me think about how a couple of years ago I was the life of the party and had “friends” to sell. At first it was pretty hard to accept that “my crew” didn’t come with me.  And another also said, “Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house.” But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”  (Luke 9: 61-62 NIV) I realized that I had to let people and things go because I cannot get what God has for me looking back. If the people I lost were in God’s will for my life He would have saw to it that they come with me.

There are so many people and things that God is removing from my life. I know that God is removing them because it is painless. I am learning that if God removes it, then I need to let it go. Sometimes it’s very hard for us to let go of the past but we have to ask ourselves this question: “How can I get what God has for me if I don’t let the past go?”

Honestly, sometimes I feel empty with the many things and people that God has removed from my life but He has filled the empty voids with the fruit of the Spirit. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5: 22-23 NIV) There are many, many things in my past but I have learned to “Let It Go!”

Dear Daddy,

I thank You today for being a forgiving and merciful God. I thank You for protecting me in my past, even when I didn’t know I needed protection. I pray that I release the past so it will not follow me into my future. When I start to reminiscence on the past, I pray that You will direct me toward Your word and my future. Teach me, dear God, to operate in Your will so that You can show me the divine purpose for my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you to leave the past in the past. If you have past hurts, relationships, people, jobs, places and/ or materialistic things that God has removed from your life, you need to let it go. Do not hold up what God has for you another second, minute, hour or day. Let the past be the past and focus on your future! I want you to know today that God has great things in store for those who diligently seek Him. Stop focusing on things that can’t add to your life and LET THEM GO!

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Mrs. Keviyona Ray is an ordained minister and co-pastor in training of The Christ For All People International Church. She is passionate about sharing the word of God with everyone she encounters. As a professional, Keviyona is a teacher for Chicago Public Schools. She loves her ministry of teaching and changing children’s lives. She is a devoted wife and mother of a wonderful daughter. Two of her favorite scriptures are Jeremiah 1: 5 – Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations and Proverbs 29:18 –  Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Growth/Maturity, Motivation, Obedience, Relationships, Soul Ties, Strength, Trusting God

Keep It Moving…Forward

And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.” (Genesis 19:17 KVJ)

“But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.” (Genesis 19:26 KJV)

The story of Lot’s wife is very popular in some areas of the world. It is a story of how God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorah due to sexual immorality, disobedience, and others acts of abominations unto Him. When God told Lot that He was going to destroy the cities, His angels told Lot to escape, to flee, and to never look back. The angels warned them, if they looked back, they would surely be destroyed. Upon their escape, Lot’s wife looked behind him to the remains of the city and immediately turned into a pillar of salt. Usually I find that the story ends here until God shared with me one day the significance of her turning into a pillar of salt.

Throughout the bible salt is used in various ways. It is used in the sense of flavor (Job 6:6), standing out (Mark 9:50), and in the world, as a preservative. In this case, God enlightened me that salt was being used figuratively as a preservative. When Lot’s wife looked back, she turned into a pillar of salt because she was trying to preserve what “once” existed. She was reacting out of disobedience. God told her to escape, move forward, and NOT to look back!

How many times have we gone back to a distraught past that God warned us not to return to: that old charming boyfriend, your hometown that bears no pleasant memories of your past life, your former group of gossiping girl friends, or an old job because you know the boss? What makes us do that when God clearly says, ESCAPE FOR YOUR LIFE!

God tells us in Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (NIV) God says, forget the past, stop dwelling in it. He is birthing a NEW THING in you!!

Being and living in your present and striving toward your future can be scary. But God reminds us, in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (KJV) When you have taken off your old self and start to live a life for Christ, you are a new creature all things become new. Don’t taint it with the old corrupted stuff.

Finally, Job 17:9 says “The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger.” (NLT) Because of Jesus’ blood and your committed faith to Him as your Saviour, you have been made righteous! Therefore, keep moving forward, keep pressing!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for being a God of second chances. So many times I have looked behind me when You told me to keep going. Although my past may be comfortable, or bad enough that I feel that I can’t grow out of it, Your word reminds me that through Your love and forgiveness I can move forward and not have to look back. I thank You for that. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen!

Sistah Girl, I EMPOWER you today to leave the things of the past in the past: the ex-boyfriend, the old life style, the negative group of friends, and your old self. ESCAPE for YOUR LIFE! God loves you and wants you to keep moving forward!

Read the entire story of Sodom and Gomorrah here.

As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6.  She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Huntsville, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter where they attend St. Luke Christian Church.

Father/Daughter, God's Love, Growth/Maturity, Inspirational, Obedience, Relationships, Singleness, Soul Ties

Who’s Your Daddy?

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” (Romans 1:24-25 NIV)

It almost seems like yesterday when I met this fellow that “swooped” me off of my feet with his charm, just like my Dad. I became infatuated with this guy because he made me laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, just like my Dad. But there was something different about this relationship. After we talked for some time God spoke to me in my teen-aged bedroom, on the floor at the foot of my bed while cleaning out my closet. (God always speaks in the closet.) As I was lining up my colorful array of Nikes, He said, “Don’t make him your boyfriend.” I felt a lump in my throat as I picked up the phone that rang just after God’s command. Looking back, he never really “asked” me to be his lady. Instead, after a while of exclusive dating, I gave him my ultimatum of “I don’t do the casual relationship thing.” And boom, God’s words replayed again, “Don’t make him your boyfriend.”

This relationship was indeed unhealthy. I cried as much as I laughed. I felt guilty for dating him and knew that my relationship with God was severed. He gave me over to my sinful desires because I wouldn’t leave him alone. Due to this disobedience I strained and neglected my relationships with family and friends.

This relationship took me to a dark side. I was living a double life. I would spend all night with him being not so “righteous”, sneak home around 4 am and then head to choir rehearsal!! “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” (Revelation 3:16-17 NIV)

So why was I so into this dude? He took care of me just like a “Daddy”. He always put gas in my car, new Air Max on my feet, herring bone chains on my neck, and his ride was fly. He put 18” rims on his Lexus and a new sound system in mine. He affirmed my beauty constantly and always made me feel pretty!

During my Junior year in college the signs of an unequal yoke began to show. He was not supportive of my trying to go back to Christ. But I stayed with him because I “knew” I could change him. (I’m sure God is chuckling here).

After four years of walking on the dark side then slowly moving back to the light, the Holy Spirit tugged me. My Christian roots were not dead, but yet alive! I knew that not only did God still love me, but my assignment was changing. I needed to get moving in God’s direction. It took me two more years during this grueling process to break up with him. I kept falling back into the abyss of comfort, but every time God would light a fire in me and would force me to keep going!!

In 2003 at a Women’s Day celebration at my now home church, all of a sudden I started feeling shackles break off of my feet and my ankles. I cried, I screamed and I shouted; it was amazing I was set free! I had already released him, but in that moment God released me and birthed in me a fire to live for. He became my true Daddy. He was whom I called on when those single nights got rough. I cried at the foot of my bed at night and poured out my heart’s issues. He poured into me affirmations of beauty, strength to stay in the fight; he purified my spirit, and my life. He washed me with His love. I was now whole, healed, and completed.

It wasn’t until all of this that He showed and sealed me with the man that He had waiting all along, my husband.

Dear Daddy,

Words cannot express how grateful I am to know that You are my Daddy. How grateful I am to have been spared through my time of disobedience to You. I bless You for cleansing me and healing me to be the daughter that You have called for me to be. Keep me near You Lord. Continue to show me how to rely on You for those needs that can so easily be disguised as being filled by others. I love You. In Jesus’  Name, Amen!

Ladies, I EMPOWER you today to realize the “Daddy” in your life. Our boyfriends, fiancés, and even our husbands shouldn’t take God’s place. No one should ever have to compete with Him to be your Daddy. Who’s your Daddy?

As a professional, Mrs. Khalilah Burton is College Biology Instructor. She is also currently pursuing a Doctorate of Education in Higher Ed and Community College Leadership. Khalilah is passionate about her faith journey and uses this key scripture as her inspiration: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6.  She teaches Young Adult Bible Study and Sunday School and also serves as a guest speaker and panelist for various events for women and Christian empowerment.  Khalilah resides in Huntsville, Alabama with her wonderful husband Donald Burton, Jr. and their energetic three-year old daughter where they attend St. Luke Christian Church.

Black Music Month Series, Growth/Maturity, Marriage, Relationships, Singleness, Soul Ties, Spiritual Therapy

Ain’t No Feeling Like…

Several years ago, I met a guy in college that completely changed my life. Let’s call him “Z”. He was never my boyfriend but we shared a special bond that literally made us inseparable. We spent almost every waking (and sleeping) moment together. Z and I scheduled classes together because we just wanted to be together. We conversed day in and out about social, political, religious, and pop cultural issues. Therefore, our minds were tied together. The endless time we spent together caused our hearts to intertwine. Our bodies were connected because of our sinful sexual acts and ultimately our souls became one because of all of those other connections. I was really okay with that because in my mind Z was my soul mate (even though God told me on SEVERAL occasions that we didn’t have a future together). As I said before, I had nearly everything from this man: his mind, his heart, his body and his soul but there was key component missing from the equation…I didn’t have his commitment. And it wasn’t that he couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to a woman because he was in fact committed–to someone else…

Long after this “relationship” ended, Z still occupied my heart, mind and soul. It seemed like the harder I tried to let him go, the more I was drawn to him. Some days I felt as if we were really meant to be together (and God would QUICKLY snap me back to reality.) Why couldn’t I just shake this dude? After all, I was an intelligent, successful, Godly woman who was now in a relationship with a man who loved me and vowed to commit the rest of his life to me. Well hundreds of tears and heartaches later, it finally clicked. I was trying to undo a spiritual tie with my natural power. Alas, I had the keys to unlock my soul from this prison that it was trapped in! How many of us know that we have no future with the “Z” in our life and that we need to walk away but just can’t seem to do it? Well sisters, it’s time to sever those ungodly soul ties and I’ve been assigned to help you do it:

  • Step #1: Repent of any sins involving the two of you. Think deeply about this. I made the mistake of just repenting of fornication but there were so many other things that took place during our relationship that were contrary to the Word of God. If you can’t recall, ask the Holy Spirit to bring everything to your remembrance that needs to be addressed.
  • Step #2: Forgive the person of any wrongdoings against you. You will never be able to release him if you walk around carrying negative feelings about the way he hurt you. I had to forgive Z for rejecting me and not choosing to be with me before I could really move on. If you have forgiveness issues, please refer to Pierced.
  • Step #3: Renounce any covenants you made with him. I used to tell Z that “I would love him forever” and that “I wanted to be with him always.” Remember the Word of God says that the words that leave your mouth have POWER. (Proverbs 18:21) You have to cancel every spoken word that binds you to that person.
  • Step #4: Get rid of any gifts from that person. I know that some of you are reading this with the side-eye but believe what I tell you. At some point, Z gave me a t-shirt. I LOVED this t-shirt because it represented where I was from—Chi-Town! I didn’t even realize that holding on to this shirt was keeping a piece of this man in my life. And get this—I only wore the shirt to sleep so every time I got in the bed with my husband, I was taking Z with me! Needless to say, once I got this revelation, I cut it up and threw it away! Get rid of the gifts; God will replace what you sacrifice in obedience.
  •  Step #5: Renounce and break the soul tie in Jesus’ name. This is the final and most important step. Open your mouth and verbally say: “I now renounce and loose myself from any ungodly soul ties formed between _________ and me, and I break these ungodly soul ties in Jesus’ name.” Now take a deep breath and exhale, you have released him!

With Jesus and through His name, you can break every ungodly soul tie! “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36 NIV)  Prayerfully, now that your soul is out of that knot, you feel free. And honey, I tell you aint no feeling like being free!

Dear Daddy,

Help me to recognize soul ties that are not ordained by You. Then give me the will and power to break them in Jesus’ name. I want to be free! I thank You in advance for filling any empty places that will occur as a result of releasing him. Thank You for Your unfailing love! In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Ladies, I just told you ALL of my business to EMPOWER you to let him go! Free your soul by undoing the knot that was left behind. EMPOWER your sisters by praying for them to be free!

P.S. Stay tuned–more of this story to come in my upcoming book!

Celebrate Black Music Month and your soul’s freedom with Destiny Child’s “Free”

Mrs. Kristen Harris is a wife, mother, entrepreneur and dedicated servant.  She is extremely passionate about women’s spiritual advancement, hence the founding of EmpowerMoments.  As an avid reader, Kristen enjoys reading the Bible more than anything. Her driving inspiration is when God says to her: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11) She currently resides outside of Chicago, Illinois with her wonderful husband and two lovely daughters where she is an active member of New Life Covenant Church.