Black Music Month Series, God's Love, Single in the City Series, Spirit of Loneliness

Single in the City 9: Ultimate Relationship

June is Black Music Month! To celebrate, each of our EmpowerMoments will be based on Black music for the entire month. This includes Black songwriters, producers or performers. Stay tuned as we use various genres of Black music to tell our stories and exemplify the beauty of God’s love! Happy Black Music Month! Dance as if no one is watching!

“Now, about the young women who are not yet married… Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain just as you are.” (1 Corinthians 7:25-26 NLT)

Recently my dating life has been non-existent and well on its way to extinction.  I have met a few guys over the past few months but most were not worth a call or text back.  Perhaps, the crisis that Paul spoke of is the small selection of profitable men worthy of my time.  So you can better understand let’s just do a quick run-down…

Bachelor #1 was a security guard at a local night club… I knew that he would have potential since he’s a blue collar worker right? NOT at all! This dude was obsessed with himself and his cheating ex-girlfriend to the point that our one and only date turned into a counseling session.  Then on our fourth phone call he mentioned how he was trying to get a job in Detroit and I could move there with him… SERIOUSLY?  Needless to say that was all “he” wrote.

Bachelor #2 was a bus driver twice my age and a waist line three times that!  I’m not saying that made a difference because I learned my lesson on judging people solely on appearance when I wrote part 2 of this series.  However, he ruined it for himself when he called me 15 minutes after I gave him my number!  Am I the only woman that feels there should be a mandatory grace period when calling someone you just met?? Just a thought…

Bachelor #3 was extremely fascinated by me.  He was amazed that I had a job, paid my own bills, etc. Since he was so attentive I thought about giving him a chance until he discreetly threw in the fact that I can call him whenever… “I’m always outside.”  That was the last straw because Lord knows I don’t have it in me to deal with another hustler!!

“In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.  An unmarried [wo]man can spend [her] time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.” (1 Corinthians 7:32 NLT) 

In honor of Black Music Month I instantly thought of the song Ultimate Relationship (AM) by Mary J. Blige.  The songstress took a break from R&B to tell us single chicks how to love on God.  We MUST rid ourselves of the spirit of loneliness, co-dependency, low self-esteem or self-worth, un-fulfillment, and the list goes on! The devil truly is a liar because every morning we wake up we are given another opportunity to lie in bed with Jesus.  “I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.  I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as Lord.” (Hosea 2:19-20 NLT) Our Father will wrap us in His love early in the morning in order to equip us for the tricks of the enemy.  So ladies we have to stop whining about not having a guy and focus on the work God has for us to do.  Spend a moment in the AM and listen intently to what He reveals to you because it may get you one step closer to your soul mate!

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for our morning rendezvouses.  Being alone can become overwhelming a lot of the time but as long as I nurture our relationship I can easily maintain.  Remind me that having a companion is only a portion of the master plan that You have for my life.  Keep me focused on the business I have to handle on Your behalf.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!      

Single Ladies, I EMPOWER you to spend time with God each and every morning.  Before you start your daily routine make God a priority and open your spirit to His incredible LOVE!  Be Blessed!! 🙂

Listen as Mary sings God a sweet love song:

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Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church. She serves tirelessly with the Evangelism Team there.  Latasha also works at Mt. Zion as a member of the Administrative Support Staff. Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.” Isaiah 54:17

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Blessings, Encouragement, Inspirational, Singleness, Spirit of Loneliness

What do the lonely do at Christmas?

This was a popular song, but also a very legitimate question.  I have found myself asking myself this question as most people prepare to spend this joyous time of year with friends and loved ones I have struggled with feeling lost, sad, depressed, and lonely.  As the Christmas and New Year approaches it is also a difficult time for those who have lost loved ones, and have no one to spend the holiday with.  My grandmother died last year on Christmas Eve so this has brought about some feelings of sadness as well as loss. However, the Lord said, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 KJV).

I have also discovered during this difficult time of the year those of us that are single begin to focus on the depressing reality that we have gone another year without having somebody to share it with.

Isaiah 41:10 NKJV Fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The Lord will always be by your side and with you.  If you have no one else in your corner you can always count on God.  I speak about things that I am guilty of myself.  I go in and out of a lot of homes because I am a Case Manager.  During this season I found myself encountering negativity and depressed spirits in most of the homes that I entered.  I had to realize that I was in the midst of a spiritual warfare.  The devil wanted me to take the spirits home with me that I was encountering in my clients’ homes.  I realized that I needed to pray before entering those homes to ensure those spirits were not transferred onto me.

Even though many of you may not go in and out of homes the way I do we all encounter these same negative spirits on a daily basis.  These spirits may be in the form of co-workers, family, and even friends.  We may not always see these spirits because it has more to do with our own insecurities than others.  Someone may be simply discussing family plans.  We immediately begin to think about the family we loss.  They may be talking about their significant others and children and we see it as bragging or boasting.  We must not allow the spirit of jealousy and bitterness manifest in our lives.  We must know that Jesus is the Reason for the Season and we must never forget that.

Dear Daddy,

I come before You during this joyous as well as difficult time of year and ask for Your strength and spirit to be with us.  I pray that You will help us to remember that this is a time to focus on You and how You died for our sins.  This is not about how many presents we will get or how much we have.  This is a time to reflect on how much we can do for others and how blessed we are to be able to see another year in our right mind, good health, and peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

I EMPOWER you to take this time to look at the many reasons you are blessed instead of allowing the negative spirits to make you look at what you don’t have.  Reflect on all the ways you have grown in the last years and the ways that would like for God to continue to manifest in your life.  I EMPOWER you in the New Year to EMPOWER someone else.  Show them what God has done in your life and what He can do in theirs.

Ms. Sherita Shelton currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee.  She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s in Professional Counseling and is currently pursuing her counseling license.  Sherita works as a therapist and case manager for children as well as adults.  She facilitates groups for single women and offers mentoring and individual counseling for her clients.  Sherita’s favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lot not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

God, God's Love, Relationships, Single in the City Series, Singleness, Spirit of Loneliness

Single in the City 6: The COLD Winter

As the winter months approach, as a single gal I seem to feel a bit of anxiety trying to surface.  I have found that colder days are a sure fire indicator of just how COLD my love life is.  In the spring and summer I can get out and about, embracing my single-hood for what it is.  During that time my girls and I are able to hit the town and never think twice about a man or the lack thereof.  But as soon as the first fall breeze blows, I yearn for the comfort of the opposite sex.   I have been single for two years and every time the weather changes my emotions get riled up.

Just talking with others I have concluded that this feeling is almost universal for single women every where.  Wintry weather has been coined the “boo” season because it is always better to stay inside and cuddle with a man, than fight the frigid temps alone.  Even worse, there are people who are fine with being single 75% of the year but when those few COLD months come around being single is no longer an option.  So that leads me to the question- are we desiring to store men like the animals in the forest store food for the winter?  If so, how will we ever break ourselves of this habit?

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV) The bible makes it simple in saying that when those feelings of loneliness show up we are to hand it over to God.  Of course that is easier said than done but the reality is that God really is waiting on us to catch up and hand it over to Him.  Even David had to take a pause for the cause to cry out to the Lord in Psalms 25:14- “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” (NIV)

The problem with most of us single women (myself included) is that we prefer to cry on the shoulder of a man rather than cry out to God.  Ladies, being a single Christian truly is a daunting task but rejoicing in the promises of God is effortless.  We must remember to rely on God in all areas, even our love lives.  God is not restricted to church affairs, but instead we should incorporate Him into everything.

Dear Daddy,

Forgive me for the times that I chose a man in the natural rather than communing with You in the spirit.  Please help me to remember to cry out to You whenever I feel lonely.  I know that these next few months will be even harder and I ask that You continue to console me.  Whenever I think about finding comfort elsewhere, remind me who I am in You!  In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Single ladies across the world, I EMPOWER to spend the winter with Jesus!  When it gets cold outside, wrap yourself in the Word of God and before you know it spring will be in the air! Be Blessed! 🙂

Ms. Latasha Sampson is an accomplished writer who is currently pursuing her Masters Degree in Human Resources Management.  She resides in Nashville, Tennessee where she is a faithful member of Mt. Zion Baptist Church.  Her favorite scripture is “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn” Isaiah 54:17